Carver’s fingers knot into my hair as his other hand trails up and down my back. “We regroup,” he tells me. “We find out who the fuck hacked my security system and move our asses back into your place. We don’t do anything until we’re certain that you’re safe.”
I nod, swallowing hard over the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “If it wasn’t for me, your home wouldn’t be destroyed and all this bullshit wouldn’t be coming down on you guys.”
“This isn’t my home,” Carver whispers. “It’s just a house that will be rebuilt, it’s just possessions that will come back to us. Home is where you are. Home is where the guys are. As long as the five of us are together, we’re okay.”
I hold back the tears. I hate it when Carver gets sentimental and says sweet shit like that. I can’t handle it. It messes with my heart and my head. If those words had come out of Cruz’s mouth, I’d be fine. I’m prepared for the sappy shit that comes from him. I’ve worked up to it and now embrace his sweet words, but Carver … it’s like being hit with a curve ball. It shocks me right down to my core.
I pull back and meet his stare. “You really mean that?”
Carver nods and I feel the weighted stares from the guys on us. “I do,” he says.
My brows furrow as I search his eyes. “But … in the car, you said …”
“I know what I said, Winter, and I stand by that. There is no deal between us. It’s time we move on from whatever … thing is between us, but you’re my family, and that will never change. Where you are, is home to me.”
I watch him for a moment, hating how sweet and yet so devastating his words are. Hell, I don’t even know how to respond to him, but if anything, they only make me want him more. I have to respect him though. I can’t keep pushing a relationship between us when he’s clearly told me time and time again that he doesn’t want it. It’s just confusing because he tells me no, and then he goes and does shit like this. He didn’t want me in that way. He should have let King, Gray, or Cruz comfort me, but deep down, I know he needs me just as much as I need him.
I pull back a little further and look away, knowing that if I keep looking into his eyes, I’m going to end up kissing him and right now, that’s the last thing any of us need.
I slide off his lap and drop down onto the couch beside him as Cruz stands across the room. “I’ll go and pack your things,” he tells me, not wanting me to go back into my bedroom upstairs. “Then we’ll go down to your place and figure out where to go from there.”
I nod, and just like that, the boys all get up and leave me sitting in the living room while they grab all of their belongings, preparing to leave the home that they’ve all lived in for the past few years.
The sorrow and grief quickly start to take over again. I shouldn’t have been left alone, but I can’t expect the guys to be on top of me every minute of every day. I’m the leader of the biggest secret society in the world. At some point, I’m going to have to learn how to handle my emotions.
Just as Carver had taught me, I close my eyes and take slow, deep breaths, trying to find that calm that I’d felt sitting on his lap.
My phone screeches through the silence and I jump, my eyes flying open as I look down to find Ember’s name flashing across the screen. My lips press into a hard line. I haven’t talked to her in a while and I messaged her in the car to tell her that I’d be home today, but I can’t bring her into this right now. She was just as much in love with Lady Dante as I was. This would crush her, and after the bullshit she went through with Jacob, she shouldn’t have to be exposed to this. Besides, she’s doing well with Corey. I should leave her to bask in her happiness.
I hit ignore on her call and just as I put my phone back down, the boys come back with bags full of their things. “Come on,” Grayson says, walking deeper into the living room and offering me his hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
My fingers curl into his and he pulls me up, wrapping his arm around my shoulder in the process. We start making our way to the door as I let out a sigh, thinking way too hard about our situation. “So, assuming it was London, how the hell did she know that you guys were planning on leaving? Did you tell anyone or talk about it publicly?”