“Chels.” Gabe crossed to her, sliding his hands up her arms, curling his fingers over her shoulders. “Have you contacted her?”
“No. Why would I?” Now, she did meet that mesmerizing gaze. “She made her choice. At first I just wanted to see if I could use my skills to find her, and I did. She doesn’t live that far from here. She has a new life, and is clearly not concerned with what she left behind.”
“Baby, I’m
sorry.”
Baby. He’d not called her such an endearing term before. Well, he’d drawn out darlin’ once or twice, but always in that devil-may-care attitude. The way he spoke to her now, the way he looked at her, was completely different.
She found she wanted to open up more now that she’d started. Never before had she felt like this, like she could trust a man with more than her body. Gabe was worth the risk.
“When she left and then Dad passed, I didn’t handle things very well. I was on the verge of a breakdown and I broke.”
Shame filled her. She’d never actually said the words out loud. When everything had happened, Daniel and Brandee were well aware of the situation and had gotten her the help she needed. She’d never had to fully tell the story. Even when she spoke with counselors, Chelsea had glossed over details or kept her feelings veiled.
“Hey.” Gabe slid his finger beneath her chin and tipped her face up. “Whatever it is, you don’t have to tell me. I want to help, but don’t torture yourself.”
She pulled in a breath and reached up to grip his wrist, as if drawing strength from him. “I tried to end my life.”
Gabe’s gasp had her cringing. “Chelsea.” Her name came out somewhere between pain and fear as Gabe pulled her into his arms. He encircled her in a vise-like grip. “I don’t even know what to say.”
He held her another moment, the silence settling heavily around them. She knew by the way he held her that he was stunned, struggling with how to react.
“I felt so alone,” she went on, clinging to him. “I know I had Daniel and Brandee, but my foundation was gone. My trust had been shattered when my mom left. I didn’t know how to approach my dad to talk because he was so distraught. Then once he was gone...”
Gabe eased her back and framed her face, forcing her to hold his attention. “I hate that you had to go through all of that. I hate that you felt alone and that there was no choice but to... Damn it, I can’t even think it, let alone say it.”
There was so much affection in his tone, so much, dare she hope love? Had his feelings changed toward her? It certainly hadn’t been her intent to influence him when she’d decided to open up about her past. She’d grown to love and trust him, and decided that if she was going to go after what she truly wanted, then he needed to know the full story.
“Needless to say, that’s why Daniel has always been so protective.” Chelsea pulled in a breath, thankful the story was out and off her chest. “I guess I wanted you to know.”
“You trust me.”
There was almost a relief in his voice. Chelsea smiled through her tears and nodded. “I do trust you, Gabe.”
She went up onto her toes and kissed him. She wanted to feel him, to taste him. She wanted to ignore the pain from her past and concentrate on what she hoped was her future.
Gabe flattened his hands on her back, urging her closer. From mouths to hips, they were joined. Chelsea knew she could never get enough. She only hoped he was starting to feel the same way.
When Gabe eased back, she had to stifle a groan. She wanted him to take her to the bedroom—or here on the floor would be fine—and finish what that kiss promised. She wanted to feel alive after the anguish of her admission.
“Want to go put your Christmas stuff up?” he asked, his brows drawn in.
Seriously? He was worried about her tree?
But the closer she looked at him, the more she realized he was out of his element here. He was unsure of how to approach her now, of how to handle her. There was so much affection in his eyes. She was used to the desire, the passion and fire. But seeing this side of Gabe warmed every single part of her and only added to the growing hope she had for them.
“It’s late and we’re so close to Christmas.” Chelsea waved a hand in a silent gesture to just forget it. “Besides, is that really how you want to spend our time together? I mean, I could probably procure some mistletoe and we could toy with that. You can even decorate me if you want.”
Longing instantly filled his eyes. “I can think of several ways for us to spend the rest of the night and you won’t need to go get mistletoe. I’ll have you unwrapped and begging in no time.” He nipped once again at her lips. “You’re staying, by the way.”
Little did he know she’d never had any intention of leaving.
* * *
As he lay in the dark with Chelsea sleeping in the crook of his arm, Gabe couldn’t stop replaying their conversation. The idea that this strong, independent woman had thought there was no way out of her stressful life, well, it absolutely crushed him. A world without Chelsea would be dull and lifeless.
Gabe realized now that he didn’t want a world without her. She’d become part of him, part of everything he did and every thought he had. Somehow she’d managed to consume more space in his mind than work and that had never happened. Ever.