The Perfect Game (The Perfect Game 1)

The church was a combination of newly updated renovations mixed with the original structure built in the early eighteen hundreds. I had no idea that the tall building I drove past on the way to the ball field was an actual church until Chrystle forced me inside one day.

It honestly looked like an oversized mausoleum from the outside. But once you walked through those massive doors, it was a different story. Maybe it was the impressive stained glass windows that guided you down the aisle. Or the white and black swirled marble staircase. Whatever it was, I found myself understanding why people found comfort here.

The pews filled up quickly with my teammates and Chrystle’s family and friends. I stood at one side of the altar with Dean next to me, and Chrystle’s best friend, Vanessa, waited at the other. The large white doors opened as organ music filtered from the enormous pipes.

Chrystle appeared in a skintight white dress, the fabric hugging every inch of her body as her smiling father walked her down the aisle. What a fucking sham. He had to know this wasn’t real. If I had a daughter, I’d never let her marry some schmuck who didn’t even love her.

I wanted to throw up. Beads of sweat began to accumulate behind my neck as my heart started pounding. Dean leaned over and whispered, “We can still leave,” and I actually considered it. My stomach flipped as I struggled to hold back the sickness that threatened.

What was I doing? This should be Cassie walking down the aisle toward me. I shouldn’t be marrying this girl. I don’t love her. Hell, I can barely stand her. The mere idea of spending every day with her made me want to vanish into thin air.

I imagined having the power of invisibility and how freaked out everyone would be if I suddenly disappeared. Poof, gone. The crying and screaming that would overwhelm the church. Some would insist that demons took me. Or that maybe I was the demon. I forced back a laugh as I glanced toward Vanessa who eyed me, her expression wicked.

I glimpsed back at Chrystle just as she placed her free hand on her stomach and rubbed it with a smile, as if reading my mind. I swallowed my broken laugh and remembered why I was standing there in the first place. I had an obligation to my unborn child. A duty as a father.

I couldn’t wouldn’t leave my baby. I would follow through with this because it was the right thing to do. My kid deserved a family that was whole, not broken, not incomplete, not separated. He deserved to grow up in a house with a mom and a dad who loved him. I refused to be the reason why he switched houses depending on the day of the week and I was unwilling to only see him on those days. Kids should grow up with their family and I wouldn’t abandon mine.

I forced a smile as she neared, a part of me suffocating with each step. She looked pretty, but all I saw when I looked at her was the reason I’d lost the one thing I ever loved. I glanced at Dean, his face pained behind the happiness he faked, as Chrystle sidled up next to me. The preacher read vows and we repeated them to each other, my heart slowing with each word until I was certain it would stop beating altogether and I’d drop dead.

Couldn’t everyone in the room tell I wasn’t in love with the girl standing next to me?

I felt hollow. Empty. Devoid of all emotion as I said, “I do,” when I really wanted to shout, “Hell no, I don’t!”

The words, “You may now kiss your bride,” echoed in my mind as Chrystle’s grin widened. I leaned in to give her a peck, refusing to close my eyes, but she grabbed the back of my neck with both hands and refused to let me go. I pulled against her tight grip as my temper flared.

“That’s enough,” I whispered through a tight smile.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. and Mrs. Jack Carter,” the preacher shouted with enthusiasm, and I pulled at my tie, willing its chokehold to loosen.

“You okay?” Dean leaned in with a whisper.

“I gave up being okay the day I lost Cassie,” I admitted, Chrystle’s hand gripping mine as she pulled me from the altar.

NINETEEN

After the wedding Chrystle wanted to buy a house, insisting that our child needed a neighborhood and a backyard in order to be truly happy. We fought for weeks over it, until I finally got it through her thick skull that we weren’t going to live in Alabama forever.

“I can get moved up or traded at any time, Chrystle! Then we’ll have to move right away. It doesn’t make any sense to buy a house here when we’re most likely not staying,” I shouted, trying but failing to hold back my temper.

“But I want to live here in the off-season. Don’t you?” she cried.

“Hadn’t planned on it. ” I longed to feel any emotion for the tears she shed, but couldn’t find it in me.

“You’re not even trying. ”

I released an exasperated sigh. “What are you talking about?”

“This marriage. Us. You’re not even trying, Jack. I deserve for you to try. ” She stomped her foot on the floor. “I’m carrying your child. We both deserve for you to try. ”

There was the emotion I so desperately needed. Guilt. Welcome home, old friend. “You’re right. I’ll try harder,” I promised, and she cried again.

“Sorry. Being pregnant makes me really emotional. ” She wiped at her face with the back of her hand and I reluctantly pulled her into my arms.

*****

I walked through the front door carrying my baseball gear before I shouted, “Chrystle? I’m back!”

I refused to say that I was home because Cassie was my home. But I’d lost that, and her, forever, so I’d never truly be home again.