“No, Melissa, I can’t go to that. ” I answered quieter than I intended.
“Postpone your flight! How will you forgive yourself if you miss this?”
“If I go to that game and see him, it will change everything. I’ll want to wait after the game for him, and then we’ll go to dinner, and then I’ll spend the night…and it will never end!” I shouted.
“Our cycle will start back up and before you know it, I’ll have not only missed my flight to New York, but I’ll be turning down a a killer job so I can follow him to Arizona! And then eventually I’ll hate I’ll eventually hate him because I gave up the one opportunity I was given to follow my dreams, to follow his dreams, which have nothing to do with mine . I’ll leave him and it will be ugly and messy and then I’ll become turn into some old crazy lady with twenty dogs who talks about the days she used to be a good photographer and dated a professional baseball player!!!!!!”
“Holy shit, over-think things much?” Melissa’s laugh echoed throughout the apartment.
I started laughing too and when I couldn’t stop, I started crying. “Going to watch Jack play just reminds me of everything we used to have, the couple we used to be. I can’t watch him and pretend like I don’t want to be with him. ”
“Then don’t pretend, Cassie. Be. With. Him. ”
“I can’t, Melissa. I have to be with me,” I said, mimicking her tone. “This job is an incredible opportunity and I need to do something for myself. If I go to that game tonight, I won’t want to ever leave him again. And I have to be able to leave him. For me. ”
Her eyebrows pinched together as she nodded. “That actually makes a lot of sense. Which sorta pisses me off because I really want you to come. ”
“I know. Trust me, I want to be there. I really do. I just know I can’t handle it. That boy could talk me out of buying an umbrella during a hailstorm. ”
“I know what you mean. He’s gonna freak out, though. You know this. ”
“You don’t always get what you want,” I said matter-of-factly.
“At least Dean will be there so I won’t have to sit alone. ”
TWENTY-ONE
JACK
I made the public relations girl at the field show me exactly where the seats were that I’d left for Cassie. When she pointed them out, I shook my head. “Those aren’t gonna work. They’re fine for my family, but I need two seats right here. ”
I pointed to the row of seats directly in line with the dugout. “I don’t care if I have to buy them, I’ll buy them. Just get me two seats right here. ”
I wanted to be able to see Cassie. I needed to see her.
“I can do that for you. I’ll just check and make sure the seats are available. I’ll be right back. ” She flipped her hair with a smile before walking away.
I looked around at the stadium I’d been to so many times as a kid, my pride swelling. I hopped over the short wall and onto the field, turning around to view the seats I’d chosen. I walked to the mound, glancing at the seat choice, before settling into the dugout. The seats were perfect.
“Jack? Jack?” The PR girl’s voice reverberated.
“I’m here,” I said, climbing out of the dugout and onto the field.
“You’re in luck. The seats are available. What name should I put them under?”
“Please put them under Cassie Andrews and Melissa Williams. Thanks for the help, I appreciate it. ”
“No problem. That’s what I’m here for. ” She batted her lashes before spinning on her heel and walking off.
*****
Ever since my coach in high school reinforced the message of “Keep your head in the game and your eyes outta the stands if you want to get drafted,” I’ve never looked. But
tonight, I couldn’t help myself. I glanced at the empty seats to my left at least a hundred times, waiting for her to be there.
Focus, Carter. You’re being ridiculous.
I breathed deeply, looking up at the bright lights of the major league stadium before releasing the breath slowly. I glanced to the left again.