I was stunned. Not only had my brother slept with some other girl, but he didn’t wear a condom? That was completely unlike him, and against everything he’d ever taught me about when it came to sex and girls. “No glove; no love” was his number one rule; the main thing he’d pounded into my head as soon as I hit high school.
“You tell me, Jack! How is this happening? You didn’t wear protection? What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I guess not. I don’t even remember fucking her, Dean.”
I slammed my palm against the steering wheel, wishing like hell this was a lie. Again.
“I can’t believe this,” I admitted, absolutely hating that this was happening to Jack. Either he was monumentally stupid or just the unluckiest son of a bitch in the world.
“You and me both. I just—” He paused, and I heard the now-familiar sound of him pacing. “I tried so hard to move on from my mistake and find a way to live with the guilt, but I’m going to lose her anyway. After everything, I’m still going to lose her.”
He meant Cassie, of course. It always came back to her.
“You have to tell her,” I blurted.
Jack expelled a heavy breath. “No shit, I have to tell her. I can barely stomach the idea of hearing her voice once she knows. Fuck. I’m going to lose everything I ever wanted in my life the second I make that call. She’s going to hate me and never forgive me. And I deserve nothing less.”
“You still have to do it. Just tell her, and then come home. Send the chick money every month and be done with it.”
I couldn’t believe the words that had just spilled from my mouth, considering our childhood. I wasn’t even sure where the words came from, exactly, but probably from a need to protect my brother if I could. He didn’t even know this chick, and now she was pregnant? It didn’t seem fair.
“I can’t leave her,” he said in a low voice.
“You can’t leave who? This Chrystle girl? What the hell are you talking about?”
“Dad left us, and we grew up without a father. And then Mom left us, and we grew up without a mother. I won’t repeat their mistakes, Dean. I know that Gran and Gramps have been the best, but they aren’t our parents. And you know as well as I do how hard it’s been to know that Mom and Dad willingly abandoned us. I can’t—” He sucked in a breath. “No. I won’t do that to my kid. I won’t be like them.”
I sat in my car, my eyes wide with shock at the ramifications of what he’d just said.
“Jack.”
“I can’t do it; it’s not right. That kid would be as screwed up as we are, and it would be all my fault. It’s not the kid’s fault he’s here—it’s mine and Chrystle’s. The least I can do is be a significant part of his life.”
I shook my head, understanding his reasoning, but I didn’t agree. Hell, I couldn’t have disagreed more.
“I don’t think that’s true, Jack. You can still be a part of the kid’s life, but you don’t have to stay there to do it. Wait—” A singular thought hit me. “How do you even know it’s yours?”
Jack sighed, and knowing him the way I did, I could just picture him yanking at his hair in frustration. “She had something from her doctor confirming how far along she is. And I asked all the guys if they’ve seen her out lately, and they hadn’t seen her since the night she was with me. I don’t know, Dean, she has all this paperwork that said the conception date was right around when we hooked up.”
“Still doesn’t mean it’s yours. Just calm down and think this through. Don’t do anything rash,” I warned him, hoping to talk some sense into him. But Jack’s head was a mess, and I didn’t think there was any more room in there for me and my logical suggestions.
“I have to go. I have to call Cassie before I lose my fucking nerve.” He exhaled into the phone. “I can’t believe I have to do this, that I’m about to lose this girl. Can a man live without a heart, little brother? ’Cause we’re about to find out.”
The call ended before I had a chance to respond. My head spinning, I stayed seated in my car, wondering what the hell I should do. I considered texting Melissa or driving straight there, but maybe I would be the last person Cassie wanted to see after getting that phone call. It made me sick for her, and for Jack.
I couldn’t go inside just yet, needing time to pull myself together. Gran and Gramps would eventually find out what Jack had done, but the news couldn’t come from me; it wasn’t mine to tell. So I just sat in the car with my thoughts spinning, taking deep breaths to slow my heart rate and calm the hell down.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed until my phone rang again, waking me up from my self-imposed daze. I assumed it was Jack, but I was wrong.
It was Melissa. Damn. This was one call I definitely didn’t want to take.
My voice was small and tentative as I answered. “Hi?”
“Jesus Christ, Dean! Did you know? Did you?” she yelled, her voice extremely loud for someone so small.
“I just found out,” I said, only referring to the pregnancy part, but I wasn’t going to tell Melissa that.