“For not being able to deal with this better. I’m so disappointed in him, and I shouldn’t care. At this point, after all we’ve been through, I shouldn’t care what he does with his stupid life.”
Brooke grabbed her drink and took a sip. “It’s because of everything you two have been through that you do care.”
“How are you so smart?” I asked as her words resonated deep within me.
“Because I’m logical,” she answered with a straight face.
I chuckled at her response, then had a sudden thought. “If you were in my shoes, what would you do?”
Brooke straightened in her chair, her gaze roaming from the ceiling to something far off in the distance before landing on mine. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in your situation before. But I think I’d cry. Probably a lot.”
“Brooke!” I all but shouted before cracking up.
“What? Whenever you tell me about him, I get mad because I think he’s stupid, but my heart also always hurts for you.”
It was honest. Too honest.
“I’ve cried enough over Nick Fisher. I’m done with that,” I said firmly, then sucked in a quick breath. “Except for on the wedding day. I might cry one last time then.” I winced with my admission.
Brook sighed with a small shrug. “I would too,” she said before picking up her fork and attacking her salad again.
Time continued to speed past like we were in some kind of unspoken race.
My anger at Nick had taken hold, and anytime I felt myself slipping and starting to feel bad for him, I simply reminded myself that he had the power to change his situation. That simple notion set my anger raging every single time. I also found myself reminding my heart that his decisions didn’t affect me anymore. This had nothing to do with me, it wasn’t about me, and it never would be again.
The majority of the time, I was fine with it. I honestly felt that I had moved on, settled into a place where I was okay with where our paths had taken us. But as the wedding date neared, my strength and resolve slipped further and further away.
Rachel had arrived late Friday night before Nick’s wedding, full of ideas for ways to keep my mind off of him. We both knew it was a losing battle.
“Brooke, come in here,” Rachel shouted from where we were sitting on my bedroom floor.
Brooke came to the doorway and eyed Rachel. “Hi.”
“Are you coming out with us tomorrow?” Rachel asked.
Surprised, I cocked my head to look at her. I had assumed Brooke would be with us, but had never officially asked.
Brooke grinned. “I’m yours all weekend.”
“No Kenny?” I asked, and she shook her head.
“I told him that I was having a girls’ weekend. I’ve never had one of those before.”
Her smile broadened, and it was infectious. Before I knew it, I was smiling too.
“Perfect!” Rachel said. “Let’s go to the store and have a girls’ night in tonight. We’ll get ice cream and watch a movie, because tomorrow night, we’re going out and getting fucked up.”
I looked at Rachel warily before agreeing. “I’d like to drink tomorrow right off of the calendar.”
“What?” Rachel said with a laugh.
“If I get so drunk that I don’t remember anything, then the day will go poof. It’ll be like it never happened.” I clasped my hands together like it was the most brilliant idea ever.
Brooke’s smile fell. “I think we should get stuff at the store for hangovers. Not that I know what we need, but we should be prepared.”
“Great idea. You’re so smart with all your thinking ahead.” Rachel pointed at Brooke. “Who’s driving?”
The trip to the store was ridiculously eventful, despite the fact that it was late at night and the workers were in the aisles stocking the shelves. Rachel flirted unabashedly with every single one of the guys, no doubt just trying to make their night. Brooke darted away from her quickly, her cheeks flaming.