“I know it’s not enough to tell you how sorry I am. I know they’re just words. But I walked out of that wedding today for you,” he said. “And for me.”
I gasped, already knowing that his being here most likely meant that there had been no wedding today, but I didn’t know the details. And I suddenly found myself wanting them. Every single last one.
“You walked out?” I asked through my surprise and shock.
“I wanted to run.” He smirked, and I returned his smile as he dropped my hand. “Can we go inside? It’s freezing out here.”
“Yeah, of course,” I said, feeling silly for not suggesting it myself as I opened the door and stepped inside. Both Rachel and Brooke were on the couch with the television on, graham crackers in their hands.
“We ordered that pizza, by the way,” Rachel announced as soon as Nick closed the door behind him.
“Pizza?” His ears perked up.
“Not for you,” Rachel snapped. “Unless we decide you deserve it. We might want you to starve.”
I smiled, so grateful for my friends. “We’re going to talk in my room. Do you need anything out of there?” I asked Rachel, and she made a face.
“Nope. Just don’t do anything gross on any of my stuff.”
“Always nice to see you, Rachel,” Nick said.
As he followed me down the hall, I waited for a smartass response from my best friend, but it never came.
There was nowhere really to sit in my room, no couch or chair, so our choices were either my bed or the floor. Without much thought, I hopped onto my bed and scooted until my back was against the wall.
Nick stood in the doorway until I told him that he was allowed to join me. Avoiding my eyes, he made sure not to sit too close or crowd my personal space, even though I wasn’t sure how much distance I wanted between us in that moment. He had just walked out of his wedding, after all.
“Okay, so where was I?” he asked.
Nervous, I played with my bottom lip until I noticed he had shifted. When I saw where his gaze had landed, I let go of my mouth.
“You were telling me about the wedding,” I said, refusing to call it his wedding.
He sucked in a deep breath, his chest expanding, and now my eyes were the ones that couldn’t get there fill.
“I couldn’t do it, Jess. I just couldn’t bring myself to walk down that aisle to marry someone who wasn’t you. I kept hearing your voice in my head, telling me that there would be a moment that was too far, and I realized this was that moment. Frank said the same thing. Ryan too. But there were bigger things at play here, Jess. It wasn’t just the fact that I hated letting my old man down. It was different this time, a lot more at stake.”
Frustrated and confused, I demanded, “Just tell me. Please. Tell me everything.”
“Carla’s dad threatened to blackball you in the entertainment industry if I didn’t marry his daughter. I believed him, Jess. Hell, I still believe him, but I won’t let him do it. I don’t know how, but I’ll make sure he has no say in your future.”
I wasn’t even the least bit prepared for that. Nick didn’t hold back, though, and I was grateful for it. I didn’t want him to protect my feelings or keep things from me. I wanted to be in the loop, completely clued in, no matter what. But this sucked.
Fear ripped through me as I thought about losing everything I’d worked so hard for. “Could he really do that?”
“He has a lot of power and tons of contacts.” Nick shrugged. “But I don’t really know how your industry works.”
It worked like that; it definitely worked like that. My fears were pushed to the side, though, as another realization sank in. It had taken a minute for me to put together the fact that Nick had done all this to protect me.
“You were going to marry her for me?”
Nick nodded vigorously. “I thought it was the only way. I didn’t know what else to do. But I was sitting in that room this afternoon, so fucking torn over which way was up. I would do anything to protect you, but marrying her felt so wrong.”
I scooted closer to him. He was too far away.
“So, what happened today? Did you just leave or did you say something?” I asked, wondering if he had caused a scene, fought with his dad, or quietly slipped out a back door without anyone’s knowledge.
“Ryan and Frank stopped by the room I was waiting in until the service started, and noticed how I was losing my shit. I told them I couldn’t do this, that I would do anything for you, but this seemed like going against you somehow.”