He groaned out my name again, his thrusts hard and rough. It was amazing, and not at all what I’d expected. Ryan owned my body, and it obeyed his every nonverbal command.
When my release hit, it felt like a wave of energy and emotion exploding all at once. Ryan still gripped the headboard as he used it to push into me with all his strength. Three pumps later and he came, his dick pulsing inside me, his hips still working in and out of me so slowly that I thought he might never stop. And I wasn’t sure I would have minded.
He collapsed on top of me, the weight of him practically crushing me as we breathed hard, our chests moving in and out in sync. “That was—”
“Amazing,” I finished for him as he rolled over and pulled me against him.
“I didn’t mean to be so rough. I mean, not for our first time, but I couldn’t help myself. You felt so good, and I was so turned on.”
His apology was sweet, but not necessary.
“I needed it. Just the way you gave it. That’s what I needed,” I confessed, because it was true. I hadn’t realized it before, but I didn’t need sweet and soft tonight. I craved a rough release to let go of all the stress and tension that had been building. “It was perfect.”
We lay on my bed, the sheet tossed to the floor, both of us still breathing hard as we floated down from our mutual high. My head lay on Ryan’s chest, still slick with sweat, and thoughts of Matson walking in and seeing us like this flashed in my mind.
“You’d better go before Matson gets up,” I said softly, drawing lazy circles with my fingers across his abs.
“You kicking me out after having your way with me? That’s cold.” His stomach bounced up and down with his laughter.
“I know. It’s just that I don’t want to confuse him,” I said, starting to overexplain before he kissed the top of my head and I stopped talking.
“I was only teasing. Of course I’ll go,” he said.
“But not forever, right?”
Suddenly, I found myself second-guessing having sex with him so quickly. Maybe I should have made him wait longer, or work harder? As women, we were taught—whether subliminally or not—that our body was our greatest weapon, and withholding sex was the surest way to keep a man coming around. But now that Ryan had gotten the proverbial milk for free without buying the cow, what if that was all he wanted?
My brain knew I sounded crazy, but my heart still worried, the poor thing fragile and vulnerable.
Ryan squeezed me tighter. “Not forever. I’m not going anywhere, remember?” When I didn’t respond right away, he pushed up, cradling my head as he pulled away to look at me. “Do you believe me?”
I avoided looking into his eyes, feeling ridiculous as my heart whined and my mind willed it to pull itself together.
He gave me a worried look. “Sofia?”
“I believe you,” I said, looking into those blue eyes that weakened my resolve. “Or I’m trying to.” I winced, thinking that he would hate my response.
“I’ll take it.”
“But what if Derek gets too crazy and you can’t handle it anymore?” I found myself asking.
My doubts and fears were eating me up inside, roiling around in my mind and making me worry. If Ryan thought he couldn’t eventually handle this, I needed to know now. I had to mentally prepare myself for the possibility that he might walk away at some point. And if he did, I wouldn’t blame him. No one needed drama like this in their life.
“I’m not leaving, Sofia.” He brushed his fingers along my cheek. “Do you hear me?”
I nodded, and he turned my face to look at him.
“Say it.”
In a small voice, I said, “I hear you.”
“Derek can’t do anything to make me want to give this up, okay? Whatever happens, we handle it together. It’s you and me now. We’re a team.”
God, what have I done to deserve this man? Please tell me. I want to be sure to keep doing it so I never lose him.
“A team,” I repeated, but it came out sounding like a question.
“Yup. Partners. Teammates.”