Happy Ending (Fisher Brothers 4)

“How come?”

“Because she’s making us spaghetti for dinner.” Ryan made a yukky face, and Matson mimicked it.

“Not again.”

Matson sounded so crestfallen that it made my tears fall even harder. I hated disappointing my son in any way, food included, apparently.

Why couldn’t I remember being this emotional the last time I had a baby? Everything about this pregnancy seemed so different. I felt completely out of control. My emotions were out of whack, my body was massive, and I forgot everything. All. The. Time.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll take you out for burgers after.” Ryan looked at me and winked, but the mere mention of burgers made my stomach flip.

“Promise?” Matson asked, and Ryan nodded.

“If you two are done talking about me like I’m not here, we can eat. Matson, will you grab some bowls, please, and set the table?”

“Yes, Mama.” He reached up to place his hand on my belly and spoke to it. “I hope you come out soon so we can eat other stuff again.”

I stared down at my son’s head and ran my fingers through his hair as I came to a decision.

“Actually, you two go. Please.” I took the bowls from Matson’s hands and pointed toward the front door. “Go out and eat whatever you want. Just don’t bring it home, because I can’t even smell it at this point without getting nauseated.”

Ryan looked between Matson and me. “Is this a trick?” he asked, and I laughed.

“No. I mean it. Go!” I shooed them away, but Ryan refused to move.

“I don’t want to leave you alone. You’re going to eat dinner by yourself?”

He looked so uncomfortable at the idea of leaving me all alone. Ryan Fisher was still, hands down, the sweetest man I’d ever met in my life.

“I’m a big girl, Ryan. Please take Matson for something that doesn’t resemble noodles and sauce so I don’t ruin Italian food for him forever.”

“You’re sure?” he asked.

I tossed a set of keys toward Ryan, and he caught them easily.

“I’m sure.” I scanned his face, his clouded expression clearly communicating that he was torn. “Look, it would really help me out if you took him so I don’t have to do it later.”

That was all it took.

The crease between Ryan’s eyes disappeared and his frown turned into a slight grin. “We’ll be back, angel.”

“’Bye, Mama,” Matson shouted as they turned and headed toward the door.

My heart swelled as I watched them leave. I’d never get tired of seeing them interact. I never realized just how badly my son needed a father until Ryan came into our lives.

With the sound of Ryan’s car backing out of the driveway, I sat down to eat what had to be my 589th bowl of pasta since Ryan knocked me up. After dinner, I cleaned up the kitchen and checked over Matson’s homework while I waited for the boys to come home.

When they walked through the door with huge smiles on their faces, relief coursed through my entire body. I wanted them to be happy, and I knew I was making them miserable. After some family television time, Ryan read to Matson in bed while I took a shower and washed my much-neglected hair.

My feet were almost completely hidden from me now. I could only see the hint of toes sticking out whenever I looked down at my naked body. And I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually seen my vagina. I lost her first, and had no idea what she was up to down there or how she looked. Everything was hidden underneath my giant baby-making belly.

No one told you those kinds of things, like how weird it would be to suddenly lose sight of body parts you’d always been able to see. But they never hesitated to tell you how turned on you’d be. How pregnancy hormones weren’t only a very real thing, but that they’d take over your mind like a sex-crazed teenage boy at times. Just looking at Ryan was enough to turn me on to the point that I was convinced he could see the want dripping down my legs.

With my hair towel-dried, I wrapped a robe around my body and attempted to fasten the tie around my waist, but failed. I’d outgrown bath towels weeks ago, and now I’d outgrown my favorite robe. I’d known it was coming eventually, but still couldn’t stop the annoying sting that coursed through me as I added it to the list of things that no longer fit.

Groaning, I flung open the bathroom door and caught a glimpse of Ryan lying on the bed, shirtless. Everything that mattered before that moment faded away in a rush of desire.

I wanted that man. My man.