She thought back at the past year. “Um, at first we talked a lot.”
Clay interrupted. “Every day?”
Caroline nodded. “Pretty much.”
“Go on,” Clay insisted. “Did you talk on the phone, Facebook, email, what?”
Caroline wanted this to stop, but Clay deserved answers, no matter how hard they were for her to admit. Her bottom lip quivered. “We talked on the phone sometimes. We sent texts mostly.”
“When?” Clay asked impatiently.
“When what?”
“When did you talk on the phone? At work? Here?” His tone filled with disgust.
“Um…” Caroline stumbled and focused on her trembling hands. “Here, mostly.”
“Where was I?” He glared.
“You were at work, Clay. You’re always at work,” she commented.
Clay gave a quick laugh. “Oh. So this is my fault, right? Because I was never around? Always at work?”
“No! That’s just when we talked. You were at work and I was here.”
Clay’s guilt got the better of him momentarily and his voice softened. “Did this happen because I was never home?”
Caroline recoiled. “No. Clay…this was never about you being home, or not being home. It wouldn’t have mattered if you were here every second of every day.”
“Then why did it happen? It doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense.” Clay buried his face into his hands.
“I don’t know. I thought I was perfectly happy,” she admitted.
“But obviously you weren’t. Whether you realize it or not, something was missing for you,” Clay pointed out.
“I don’t know if I believe that. I don’t know what I believe any more.” She struggled to push her overwhelming guilt aside and take the blame.
Clay replayed her words in his mind. His voice raged. “So then, what happened? You said at first you talked a lot…then what?”
The rollercoaster of his emotions made Caroline cringe. She looked at Clay and tried to smile. “We got engaged.”
He shrugged. “And…you suddenly grew a conscience and stopped talking to him?”
“No.” The pounding of her heart hammered in her ears. “He stopped talking to me.”
“Aw, what a stand-up guy.” Clay applauded mockingly.
“Stop. Please. I’ve hurt so many people, I can’t take it any more.” Her insides felt like they had shattered into irreparable fragments.
He eyeballed her, his lips pressed tightly together. “I just have one more question Caroline and then I’ll stop,” he promised.
“Okay.” A sigh escaped from her lips.
“See, if I’ve got this all right…you got a phone call.” Clay counted on his fingers. “And you left me alone at our engagement party without saying a word…you flew across the country to be with some guy you barely know…and now you’re breaking off our engagement and moving out.”
Caroline tried to catch her breath when the sobs choked at her throat. She closed her eyes tightly and fought to control her emotions.
Clay continued, his voice void of any emotion. “So I can only come to one conclusion.” Caroline peered nervously at him, her face streaked with tears. “You must love him.” He scowled and she hated herself in that moment for what she’d done to him. “So do you? Do you love this guy?”