“I think that’s part of the problem,” I muttered.
“Excuse me?”
“I think…” I paused before regaining my composure, then stared him right in the eye and said firmly, “I want to take a break.”
Jayson’s face screwed up so tightly I thought his bushy eyebrows might stick to each other. “You want to take a break from what?”
“From acting. I need some real-life experience to pull from. I’m ready to go to college. I’ve told you and Corryn that before. I’d like to do it now because I think it’ll make me a better actor in the future.”
Scrambling, I attempted to sell the point in a way he’d understand. If I spun it as helping me get roles in the future, maybe he’d see things my way.
He laughed. “What future?”
Then again, maybe not.
He quickly pressed a button on his phone as the ringing blared through the speaker and filled the space. “Jayson,” Corryn’s voice purred, and in that moment I realized that I was up against a wall. Bricks were being strategically put into place by my agent and manager as they worked in tandem against me. They held the keys to my prison cell, and we all knew it.
“Babe, I have Paige here with me, and she hated the script.”
“Hated the script?” Corryn belted out. “Paige, darling, it’s a brilliant part.”
“It’s really not,” I tried to shout, but only a halfhearted mumble came out.
Jayson shifted in his chair and said snidely into the speakerphone, “She wants to go to college.”
“Not this again.”
Corryn’s annoyed tone was the wake-up call I needed.
“Yes,” I said loudly. “This again. And if you don’t let me, I’m always going to want to go. I haven’t stopped working since I turned fourteen!” I shouted before continuing my tirade. “You guys keep acting like I’m asking the world to stop spinning or something. I’m simply asking for a break. Just some time away so I can have some normal experiences and live a normal life. Why is that so hard?”
Jayson slammed his hand on top of his desk. “Because it’s idiotic, Paige.”
“No one in their right mind wants to go to college when they’re the hottest actress on the planet,” Corryn added. “You know how many other girls would kill to be in your shoes? Stop being ungrateful! You can be normal later.”
I could be normal later?
“When, huh? Just tell me that! When will I get to go to college? When will I get to be normal? When I’m fifty?” I screamed, oddly embarrassed over the tears that had formed in my eyes.
I’d grown tired of them trying to placate me, constantly telling me that my chance for normal would come soon enough. But it never did. The next project was always waiting to start the second my current one ended.
Who becomes a spectator in their own life? Paige Lockwood, America’s sweetheart, that’s who. Surrounded by people who made every single decision for me, what I wanted never seemed to matter. Whenever I fought to have my voice heard, those around me always raised their voices louder to drown me out. I’d lost count of the number of times I’d been told that they knew what was best for me.
“You’re making this film,” Corryn demanded, and Jayson nodded furiously in agreement.
“I need a break!” I shouted back. “You never let me have a break.” Dismayed at how my voice sounded defeated, as if I’d lost the fight already, I added, “Please.”
“Do you have any idea how long people will want you in their movies, Paige? They won’t want you forever,” Jayson snapped, stomping his foot on the floor to emphasize his point. “If you leave now and try to come back in five years, there won’t be a place for you. It doesn’t work like that anymore. It might have twenty years ago, but you leave a hole in this industry and they’ll find the next actress to fill it before you go to your first frat party. So, you will be doing this film and your so-called normal life can wait.”
My life could wait?
My life had been waiting for the last seven years.
Instead of completely coming unglued on them, I laughed. Full-out belly laughed as I turned to walk out of Jayson’s office. He shouted words at my retreating back I could barely make out over my own maniacal laughter.
Then I did something so out of character for me, I couldn’t believe I was actually doing it. I flipped him the bird and bolted for the stairs before anyone could stop me. I’d come unhinged.
Running Away