Breaking Stars (The Celebrity 2)

“How could you?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted with a little shrug. “I just feel like I should have.”

“Me too.”

We stayed silent for a minute, maybe more, letting the similarities of our experiences sink in. At least, that was what I was doing. I’d never expected us to have much of anything in common, but I was learning how wrong I was.

“Will you tell me what happened with your dad?”

I sucked in a breath. Was I ready to head down this road? If I didn’t drive down it now with her, when would I? Talking about this would never be an easy conversation to have, but I wanted to be open with Paige. She needed to know this side of me, and understand the moment that had altered my life.

“I came home for Thanksgiving break. Mama had dinner ready, and we were waiting on my dad to come home. He was late and wasn’t answering the phone, so Mama asked me to run to the shop and go get him.”

I looked away from Paige’s eyes, staring firmly at the wall behind her before meeting them again. Reliving that day hurt like hell, but I’d do it for her. My throat felt thick and it was hard to swallow, but I continued.

“I pulled my truck up to the shop and saw all the lights on. Thinking everything was okay, I yelled for him to wrap it up and come home to eat before Mama killed him. The music was playing and Buster was whining, but my dad didn’t respond. I walked through the office and into the garage when I saw him lying there. The truck he had been working on had fallen off the jack and was lying right on top of his body. All I could see were his legs and a pool of blood.”

I lowered my head and started shaking it back and forth. “I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to lift the truck. Like with my bare hands. I tried to tried to get it off of his body, but it wouldn’t budge. I screamed for him, shouted his name, but he didn’t move. I fell to my knees at the front of the car to see if I could pull him out somehow, but that was when I saw that his chest was crushed and a piece of metal had pierced through his stomach. That’s where all the blood came from. I knew he was gone, but I refused to believe it and I didn’t want my mama to see him like that, so I ran to Doc Tracy’s house. I don’t even remember running there, but apparently I did. I don’t remember most of what happened after, but my God, Paige. I wish every day it didn’t happen. I wish every day that I’d gone to check on him sooner.”

Paige reached out and intertwined her fingers with mine. Squeezing them, she brought my knuckles to her lips and placed a kiss against them before bringing my hand to her lap and holding on tight.

“Doc Tracy said there wasn’t anything that I could have done. That he most likely died instantly, but those words never seem to make a difference. You can hear them a hundred times, but your brain refuses to believe it. What if I’d shown up ten minutes earlier? What if Buster had run home to get me, like the damn dogs do in movies? What if, what if, what if…” My voice drifted off as the pain came crushing back.

Paige squeezed my hand. “I’m so sorry, Tatum. I’m so sorry that you lost your dad like that, and that you were the one to find him.”

“I’m glad it was me and not Mama. I don’t think she could have ever recovered from seeing him like that. The funeral was bad enough.”

“So after he died, you never went back to school?” She adjusted herself on the couch and sat up straighter against the back.

I sighed. “I went back. But only to quit the football team, drop my classes, and get my stuff.” She nodded as if my words resonated deep within her. “What are you thinking?” I asked.

“That I would have done the same thing,” she admitted with a shrug.

“Really?” I couldn’t believe it.

She continued to nod. “I think so. I mean, on one hand, school would have been a great distraction, but I couldn’t imagine leaving my family after a tragedy like that. I’d want to be home. I’d feel like everything else could wait.”

“That’s exactly how I felt. I didn’t want to play football anymore. I didn’t care. And who was going to run my dad’s shop and support our family? My mom? She’s not a mechanic. And no one in town was interested in buying it. The shop has been in our family for generations. It seemed like the right thing to do.”

“I completely understand.”

“Brina didn’t.”

“I heard a little about that from Celeste,” she said, and I instantly bristled.

“Yeah. I realized later that Brina was just using me as her get-out-of-town ticket. And when that fell through, she wanted nothing more to do with me.” I blew out a loud breath. “I thought she really

cared about me. I don’t understand how someone can fake something like that for so long.”

“I’m sure she wasn’t faking all of it. She can’t be that cruel,” Paige said, giving Brina the benefit of the doubt, even though she didn’t deserve it.

“Who gives a shit? No more talking, Paige,” I said, the weight of our discussion bearing down on me. I was exhausted emotionally, but I needed her more than ever.

“More kissing?” she asked through puckered lips.

“Lots more kissing. Stay here with me tonight.”

“I thought you weren’t ready for that?” She pulled her head back in surprise, and I wondered what exactly she was thinking.