ing her again felt damned good, his relief when Connor called to tell him she was back palpable. Even though he itched to get to the bottom of her trouble, he refrained from pushing too hard. He’d run up against the brick wall of her stubborn independence before and didn’t relish starting their reunion on a negative note.
They spoke of everything except about the months she was away and the reason for her extended visit. By the time they finished their lunch, they had rekindled their easy friendship, enjoying it almost as much as before she’d left. His impatience to discover what happened that caused those shadows under her eyes was his only regret as he stood to leave. With luck, once she submitted to him again at the club, he would be successful in getting those answers.
He tossed down a generous tip and reached out to give her hair an affectionate tug, something he’d done countless times before, only to have her jerk away, as if fearing that small prick on her scalp instead of relishing it. Her face whitened and then flushed, the uncharacteristic response heightening his suspicion something dire was going on with her.
Nan slid off the stool, backing away, her retreat a painful kick to his gut. “Sorry. I…”
Dan laid a firm finger over her lips. “Don’t say anything unless it’s the truth.” Dropping his hand, he wasn’t surprised at the mulish set of her mouth or her silence. Sighing in disappointment, he said, “I hope you’ll join us at the club tonight. We’ve missed you.”
Shaking her head, she replied, “I don’t have time, but should tomorrow night.”
He nodded and turned to leave. “See you tomorrow then.”
She waited until he’d taken two steps away before saying, “I’ve missed you, too, and everyone else.”
He swiveled his head to look at her as he settled his hat back on and nodded. “Good to know.”
Nan sat back down, nibbling on the last of her fries as she watched Dan walk out of the diner, her heart executing a funny roll she didn’t know how to decipher. She’d always been attracted to men wearing a Stetson, cowboy boots and tight jeans. Dan’s six-foot-two lean build was a good match for her five-foot-eight slender body and his strict dominance suited her sexual needs. Or, at least it used to. Now, she didn’t know what she liked or wanted, other than to get her life back. She knew returning to The Barn played a crucial role in succeeding, but when he brought it up, she’d gone cold thinking about it. That both depressed her and pissed her off.
She left Gertie a generous tip and took her time strolling back to the tea shop to soak up the mid-afternoon sun, missing the low hum of arousal she used to experience whenever she would spend time with the town’s sexy lawyer. Seven years ago, rumors had spread like wildfire about the good-looking attorney who opened a law practice after buying a small spread nearby. He’d been new to the club the same time as she, but unlike her, was already an experienced player in the lifestyle. She’d noticed him around Willow Springs and fantasized about submitting to him during her instruction phase whenever she would catch him eying her scenes with Master Clayton. One look from those chocolate eyes had never failed to divert her attention and send her blood pumping in a molten flow of heat.
Until today. Nan’s response to seeing Dan again had been tepid compared to the instant hot feedback she’d always experienced in the past and was just one more thing she blamed on Gerard and vowed to overcome. That son-of-a-bitch had robbed her of enough time and sanity. Stepping inside her shop, the warm sense of being home washed over her, bolstering her determination to move forward without the fear constantly looking back evoked.
Saturday flew by as a steady stream of customers, new and old, came in to welcome Nan home and express their happiness at her reopening. She worked with tireless energy to fill orders and ring up sales while answering questions and relaying her appreciation, all the while wondering how she could have let herself forget how much friendship meant. The weeks of recovery and months of waiting out the legal battle to extradite Gerard back to the states after he’d fled to Canary Island had beaten down what little of her self-esteem remained after Jay freed her from his depravity. She was still waging the battle to get it back, to bolster the courage that aided in getting her home and that was mandatory to overcome her trauma completely.
But today helped, and she intended to capitalize on her upbeat mood and energy to prepare for a visit to The Barn in a few hours. At fifteen minutes before closing, the bell on the door pealed again and Willa Hoyt, the librarian for as long as Nan could remember, entered with another older woman.
“Willa.” Nan beamed at the woman who had been a regular pinochle player with her grandmother. “How are you?”
“Oh, I’m fine, Nanette.” Coming up to the counter, she looked Nan over with a critical eye. “You look good. Lordy, girl, I’ve missed you, and coming in here for my afternoon tea.”
Nan hurried around the counter and hugged the teary-eyed woman who, she knew, wasn’t as frail as she appeared. “I’m sorry. There were issues keeping me tied up in Louisiana, extending my stay longer than I’d planned.” Pulling back, she smiled at her companion. “And who is this?”
“Alice Juneu, my new, part-time volunteer. She’s agreed to drive in from Billings twice a week to help me out so I can keep working. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“It is,” Nan agreed, holding her hand out to Alice. “It’s nice to meet you. How about a cup of tea and a scone from the bakery on the house?”
“That sounds lovely, dear.” Alice squeezed her hand with a grip that belied her petite stature. A soft smile eased the cold scrutiny in her eyes and Nan figured she was being protective of her new friend. She couldn’t fault her for that. “I just happened to meet Willa at the librarian luncheon in Billings and we hit it off.”
“Well, as a frequent patron, I appreciate you volunteering. The library wouldn’t be the same without Willa there. I’ll have to come over soon and check out the new releases. I never could get into e-book reading. Do you still like mint, Willa?” Nan shuffled back behind the counter and grabbed two of her prettiest teacups and saucers.
“I do, thank you, but I see you were about to close. Why don’t you pour them in to-go cups? We can visit more when you come to the library.”
“Nonsense. I have time and I know you’ll enjoy being the first to sip from these delicate china cups I brought back from New Orleans. Have a seat.”
“Did you have a nice vacation in Louisiana?” Alice asked as they sat down.
The only other patrons still occupying a table rose and waved to Nan as the two women left. “Thanks for coming in,” she called out as she worked to get her emotions in check. Alice’s innocent referral to her time in New Orleans as a vacation stirred up her resentment with the memories. What was supposed to be a pleasant vacation had turned into a nightmare, but no one here knew that.
“Let’s just say I’m in no hurry to go back.”
Chapter 3
Riding high on the success of her open house, Nan flipped the closed sign around after Willa and Alice left and then trotted upstairs to get ready for her first night out in way too long. Regardless of the misgivings plaguing her since her uncharacteristic, negative reaction to Dan yesterday, she was still determined to overcome any and all obstacles in her path to regaining the pleasures she used to relish about the BDSM lifestyle. Maybe the fastest route to the end would be to jump into a scene with the first Dom who invited her, she mused as she stepped into the shower.
Propping one foot on the corner seat, she lathered her pubic hair and swiped a razor over her pubis. Despite the heat building in the small cubicle, she broke out in a nauseous sweat as she exposed that sensitive skin for the first time in eight months. Setting her jaw, she refused to let yet another negative response deter her. For years, she’d kept a standing, monthly spa appointment in Billings that included a wax job of her pubic hair, but the pleasure of keeping herself denuded was only one of the things Gerard’s abuse had stripped her of. She gritted her teeth as she lifted the handheld showerhead and rinsed t
he suds and hair away. Instead of the prickles of heightened sensation she expected to experience, the memory of how he’d gripped the soft, bare folds and squeezed until she screamed rushed to the surface.