“Bernie gave me some old lumber and helped me build a safe pen for them. As soon as they get bigger, I’ll turn them loose.” A rare smile creased his lean cheeks. “Caught Morales trying to hand feed them some lettuce. You should have seen how red he got.”
Dan’s other new hand was a big, tough ex-marine who talked and laughed loud and hated being alone, Pete’s exact opposite and yet the two had hit it off from the start. “Next time, get a picture.” Setting aside the brush, he opened Tank’s stall and filled the feeder with oats. “Thanks for your help. I’ve got paperwork to do this evening. You going to be okay?” he asked, confident Pete knew exactly what he wanted to know.
“Yeah, I’m good, boss. I promise. Sometimes…” He hesitated and looked away. “Sometimes it’s hard to close my eyes when I know what I’ll see. It helps if I can wait until I’m too tired to dream, ya know?”
“I hear you.” Shutting the stall gate, he slapped Pete on the back. “You’ve got me now, though, and Bernie. Do you want to set up an early appointment with Dr. Sorensen?” One of his requirements for giving these guys a job and a second chance was they had to agree to regular sessions with the psychologist in Billings, who also happened to be a veteran and a good friend of Dan’s.
“Already did for tomorrow afternoon. I guess I’ll go see if those two are still at it. Thanks, boss.”
“Goodnight, Pete.”
Nan brushed her clammy hands down the silky, thigh-skimming cream sheath she’d chosen to wear to the club tonight. Friday rolled around way too fast for her peace of mind, the busy days and the fun of catching up with patrons and friends doing little to calm the jitters every time she thought of allowing someone to restrain her again. Then there was the nausea she experienced whenever she tried to conjure up the excitement she used to feel at turning herself over to a Dom’s complete control. Standing in indecision, looking into her mirror, she wondered if she should wait and put off going again until tomorrow night. She hadn’t been this nervous last week, her first time back. But then, that was before experiencing that humiliating flashback, and the uncertainty and trepidation it stirred up.
A surge of anger forced her shoulders back, the move thrusting her braless breasts out and shifting the soft material over her nipples. “Fuck that.” Fisting her hands on her hips, she stomped one bare foot and glared at herself. “Get a grip and get over it already. I. Will. Not. Let that bastard win.” There. She nodded, feeling a touch more confident after repeating the line she’d first heard from Jay. Damn, she missed her brother, the way he knew when she needed pampering and when it was time to give her a stern, rebuking lecture. He was a lot like Master Dan that way.
Nope, not going there. As much as she cared for Dan, and maybe because she did, she wouldn’t seek him out tonight. She wanted over this hurdle, needed to get herself back to where she was before she made that monumental mistake in New Orleans, and she wanted to get there without revealing that mistake to anyone. She wouldn’t be able to accomplish that goal if she submitted to her favorite Master tonight. Her shoulders slumped as she contemplated how she could pull that off considering the two thin white scars marring her smooth back, physical proof of the abuse Gerard had heaped upon her.
Turning away from the mirror, she snatched up a light, summer cover, slipped on her sandals and padded to the door before she talked herself out of going. Depending on the apparatus she, or the Dom she hooked up with selected, she would either leave the thin dress on or strip. Back facing him, on; back hidden, off. A simple solution, she told herself as she flipped on both the kitchen and living area lights before locking the door behind her.
Chapter 5
The same pulsating energy that greeted Nan last week sent a thrill through her as she entered the playroom of The Barn. She was early, as the small gathering attested to, but that worked in her favor, at least this time around. There was a time when she’d basked in the pleasure of baring herself in front of a large crowd, confident and unabashed in her nudity. She ached to do so again, craved that freedom with every fiber of her being. As she padded across the gleaming, hardwood floor and a few appreciative male eyes landed on her swaying, unfettered breasts, she experienced a familiar ripple of pleasure, which helped boost her self-esteem as she slid onto a bar stool next to Avery.
“Hi. Did I beat Sydney and Tamara tonight?”
&nbs
p; Avery smiled. “Hey, Nan. Yeah, but they’ll be here soon. Sorry I didn’t make it for our weekly afternoon tea. I got tied up in Billings at the office.”
“You’re working too much,” Grayson insisted as he strode over from behind the bar. “Between the diner and your IT work, you’re wearing yourself out, and I don’t like it.”
Avery sighed. “I told you, Grayson… ouch!” She reached up and rubbed her chin where her husband pinched her. “Master Grayson,” she grumbled with a glare when he lifted a brow and waited for her correction. “With the extra tourism Willow Springs has been getting from the new dude ranch, Gertie needs my help. I’ll cut back when things slow down.”
“She should hire extra help,” Nan put in. “I’ve been swamped also, but my menu is small, and easy compared to hers. But I have to admit, I don’t mind profiting from Greg and Devin’s business.”
The two men they were discussing entered just then, their striking dual presence drawing more eyes than hers. Tall and muscled, the ex-FBI agents exuded enough dominance in just their riveted gazes and confident strides to dampen the panties of any sub who was lucky enough to catch their interest. Like every other man in ranch country, they wore snug denim and boots and Nan guessed they’d left their Stetsons in the foyer closet. Even Dan wore jeans and boots daily, only when he was in lawyer mode, he dressed them up with a casual sport coat.
No, not going there! She needed to be thinking about and considering any Dom to hook up with other than the one who could read her every move and decipher every expression. Or, in Masters Greg and Devin’s case, two men. They had been new members before she left, and she didn’t know them well since she’d only enjoyed one scene with the duo that did not include sex. It had been her first and only ménage, and as they headed toward the bar, a stirring of expectation rippled down her spine, sending a wave of relief through her.
“Why are you glaring at us, Sheriff?” Devin asked, cocking his head as he stood next to Nan’s stool. The tight stretch of his black tee shirt emphasized the thick bulge of his shoulders and upper arms and the dark blue of his midnight eyes.
“I’m blaming you two for my wife’s harried schedule. Gertie’s got her working extra hours due to the visitors you keep sending to town.”
Greg laughed, his moss green eyes twinkling as he held up both hands, as if to ward him off. “Hey, don’t shoot at the hands that are feeding you. It’s not our fault we’re as good at running a new business as we are at making the subs here happy.” His bright gaze swiveled toward Nan as he shifted behind her stool. “Speaking of which, it’s good to see you again, Nan. We didn’t get a chance to welcome you back last week.”
At the reminder of her hasty exit, she looked away from both his and Devin’s scrutinizing looks. The way the two of them closed her in by standing so close, leaving her no way to move out of their reach unless she shoved one of them or Avery aside, sent a frisson of unease skating under her skin. Refusing to give in to it, she forced a confident smile as she turned to face them again.
“It’s great to be back. I’ve missed everyone. I’ve heard praises for your dude ranch all week. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
Devin squeezed her shoulder, the heat of his palm and strength of his grip warming her, as did the way his midnight eyes lowered to her breasts. Why the hell couldn’t her head get on board with her body?
“What can I get everyone?” Grayson asked before telling Avery, “Hold off on your second drink, sugar. I have plans for you as soon as Connor arrives and takes over here.”
Avery flushed, but her nipples went to turgid pinpoints under her satin tee and a spark of excitement lit her eyes behind the dark frames. “Yes, Sir,” she returned without hesitation.
“I’ll have a light beer.” Nan stuck with a milder brew rather than going with hard liquor as that tended to hit her much harder and faster. She needed a nerve boost before taking advantage of the interest Masters Devin and Greg were exhibiting, but nothing that would dull her senses. Between the way the close confines of their bodies rattled her and her body’s happy response to Greg’s simple touch, she would need all her wits about her to go through with a scene with the two of them, even if it was mild compared to what she was used to.