Wolf Bargain (Wolfish 3)

“We need to name them,” he says as he looks in the baby’s eyes.

“I was hoping to have more time to do that,” I say. “Names are such personal—”

I stop myself mid-sentence when I realize that this might very well be the last time that we have with them. Marlowe reaches out to touch my arm when he sees the look on my face.

I know right away that this is the reason I’ve avoided this moment.

It’s as if naming them … it finishes something. This short saga—my brief and traumatic pregnancy—will be over in a way once they’re named.

As if reading my mind, Rory reaches for me.

“On second thought,” Rory says as he hands me the baby and Kaleb takes one of the others from me to make space. “Let’s wait until this is all over.”

The day passes by too quickly and I feel as if I am trying to hold on to every moment.

As dusk approaches, we get the pups ready to go with Lydia. She will leave with them ahead of time. No one will be expecting it because no one even knows they’ve been born yet.

If they see Lydia leave, they shouldn’t give her much trouble.

Not when I’m the intended target.

Not when I’m the prize.

Even still, Lydia will go carefully and stay to the shadows in the trees. If she waits any longer, then it will be too hard to say goodbye.

Romulus has made her a carrier so that she can carry one of the babies on her back, one on her chest, and one in her arms. She is light on her feet and fast, so it will not be long before she is able to put enough space between her and the fight.

If we survive, then Romulus knows where she will be waiting, and we will go to meet her and retrieve our children. As Romulus and Lydia share a tender moment and say their goodbyes; Rory, Marlowe, Kaleb, and I hold our pups one last time before we let them go.

I feel sick at the thought of them leaving … but I know this has to be done.

I cradle all three of their tiny bodies against me while the boys surround us in a protective embrace. The bond between us all is so strong that I can feel the pull of it inside the very air between us.

“Stay safe, little ones,” I whisper onto their heads. “Stay safe so that when you return, we can give you your names.”

I wish I had a world of time to say goodbye.

But I don’t, and the moment to leave comes too soon.

The boys and I kiss each of their tiny heads, and then Rory helps to take them from me and place them into the carriers on Lydia. As each pup is taken from my arms, I feel a piece of me being ripped away and it hurts so much that I cry again, even though I thought my tears were gone.

Kaleb and Marlowe hold me, and I can feel their pain mix with mine.

I don’t know if it’ll make a difference in battle or not, but we have something to fight for that is stronger than Remus’ delusional pure-blooded ideology. I know that.

We are fighting for our family. For love. There can be no greater purpose than that.

I have to believe that.

As soon as Rory has placed the last baby he comes to join in our embrace. I look up at Lydia and she smiles at me. This time there is no happiness in her smile. This time there is only empathy and sorrow.

I can’t bear to watch them go, so I lower my head onto the boys’ shoulders and close my eyes.

When I open my eyes again, Lydia and our pups are gone. All that stands before us now is Romulus, and although it looks like he too has shed a tear, it now also looks like he’s angry enough to pull Remus teeth from his mouth one at a time.

Turn pain into power.

We waste no time now, there is no reason to. All that we love has either already left or is standing beside us and ready to fight. There is nothing left to do now other than prepare to fight Remus and his pack with every bit of fury that we have left. Lydia will bring our pups to safety and so we clear our minds of that now, because we need to focus only on the fight ahead.