Along with the cover files, Olivia had also sent mock-ups for bookmarks and magnets, which she said she would order if I liked the proofs. I had a full schedule of indie book signing events during the coming months and the swag was good for promoting my titles. Hopefully, I could get some buzz going for the new series. The idea of launching something new scared the hell out of me. Just because my first series had done well didn't guarantee readers would take to my new stuff. I felt my writing had improved with each book, so hopefully that would be evident in the story.
That night I actually went to bed at a normal time. I guess I didn't realize how exhausted I had been. The cover for Wicked Lovely remained on my mind as I drifted to sleep. More accurately, Alec was on my mind, which carried over into my dreams. Distorted images of our failed night together filled my subconscious. We'd get right to the point of the actual deed and then something would interrupt us and we would start over again. It was frustrating and appealing at the same time.
Dreaming about near orgasms all night left me throbbing with desire by the time I finally woke before dawn. I debated taking a cold shower, but my body wanted more. Sliding my hand into my pajama bottoms, I could feel how wet the dreams had made me. I closed my eyes and conjured images of Alec and what he could have done with his tongue. My finger slid inside me easily as my body moved against my hand. I imagined it was Alec touching me. My breathing became labored and I moaned as if he were lying on top of me. I felt like I should stop, but my hand wouldn't cooperate. My release came almost immediately. I lay in bed motionless, wondering if I should feel bad for getting myself off over a guy who had rejected me.
I managed to fall back asleep before waking again several hours later. The ache was gone, but I felt bereft. What I had done earlier was a poor substitution for the real deal, but maybe I wasn't being honest with myself. If so, I might have to admit I still wanted Alec.
I was tired of pondering it either way so I climbed from bed to get my day going. Every Sunday I gave my apartment a good cleaning, including tossing my bedding into my washing machine and dusting every surface area. I vacuumed my bedroom and living room and then gathered all the takeout binge-eating trash that was stacked on the counter from the last two days.
Once I finished, I showered and got dressed to head over to Mom and Dad's for afternoon dinner.
I was the last to arrive when I got to my childhood home a half an hour later. Zachary and Tony were on the front lawn tossing a football while Zachary's forever girlfriend, Ashley, sat on the porch swing reading a book.
Zachary gave me a crushing one-armed hug. "What did you bring for dessert?"
"Nice try. I know for a fact it was your turn to bring dessert. I hope it's something decadent and super rich. I've been holed up in my apartment for two days and my sweet tooth is weeping from neglect."
"Lucky for you, Ash made her famous Hershey's chocolate bar brownies. If you're good, maybe I'll share," he teased, rubbing the top of my head with his knuckles.
I squirmed away before he could do any more damage. "Douche-breath," I grumbled, trying to smooth my hair.
"Zach, you know she doesn't like that," Tony said, chastising him as he pulled me in for a quick hug before placing a wet finger in my ear.
"Gah, are you two ever going to grow up?" I swung at him, but he was too quick and easily darted out of the way. I stomped toward the porch, glaring at them both.
Ashley shook her head sympathetically as I climbed the porch steps. "Your brothers."
"Hey, Ash." I greeted her with a hug that didn't involve noogies or wet willies. "I know, right? Mom should have given them back when they were born. I now know why some species eat their young."
Ashley laughed. She and Zachary had been dating long enough for her to know how things worked in my family. She knew deep down we all loved each other, even if at times I wanted to bury them in a shallow grave. "What are you reading?" I asked, trying to catch a glimpse of the cover.
"That one you picked up for me at your last book event." She moved her hand to show me the cover of my friend Melissa Brown's newest book.
"Oh, that's such a good book. I read the entire thing during my flight from Chicago last month.
"I'd believe it," Ash chuckled. "I just started it this morning and I'm almost done. The writing is flawless."
"I agree. Plus, the storyline is freaking amazing."
She stood from the porch swing to follow me inside. "How's your book coming along?"
I shot her a smile. Ash was a beta reader for me, which meant she was one of the first people to read my books and give suggestions on the story before release. Some writers used more beta readers than others, but Olivia and Ash worked perfectly for me. I figured too many cooks in the kitchen would ruin the meal. "Funny you should ask. I actually finished it last night," I told her, smiling broadly when she jumped up and down like a kid in a candy store. Hopefully that enthusiasm would carry over when she read it. Wicked Lovely was different from my previous work, and I was worried about my readers' reactions to it.
She rubbed her hands together greedily. "When do I get it?"
I waited to answer as Mom engulfed me in a delicate hug that smelled like her favorite perfume. It was a scent she had worn for as long as I could remember. Dad made sure to replenish her supply every Valentine's Day. "You look tired," she said, staring me in the face.
I rolled my eyes. Her mom radar was always on. "I don't know why," I lied easily.
Ash chuckled behind me, earning her the same look I had given my brothers outside. No book for you, I mouthed. Her expression went from humorous to horrified in an instant.
Mom was too busy clucking over the bags under my eyes to pay attention to our exchange. "Why do you look peaked? Are you eating right?"
"Mom, you just saw me last Sunday. How could I have completely fallen apart in one week?"
She held me at arm's length, studying my face intently. "A mother knows. You're working too hard. You have to stop pushing yourself like this."
"I know, Mom, but believe me, I'm fine. I just haven't slept all that well the last few nights, that's all." Of course, I neglected to mention the reason why I hadn't been sleeping. There was no way I would admit the source of my insomnia was a guy. That was a can of worms I wasn't willing to open. I gave her a quick peck on the cheek to distract her. "By the way, Olivia sent me the cover proof for Wicked Lovely. Do you two want to see it?"