Once she was gone, I slumped back against my sofa. My smile faded. I really did feel like crap, but beneath the cold was a deep-rooted sadness that I couldn't seem to shake. It had been four nights since Alec had walked out on me. Despite my own personal pep talks that there were other fish in the sea, I couldn't shake the feeling of loss. So, I tried to bury it. Maybe that was how I got sick. The cold made it easy for me to dwell in self-pity. Either way, they were both kicking my ass, and I needed to shake them.
Severus jumped up on the couch, seeking some attention. At least he hadn't cared that I was sick. It took him a while to forgive me for leaving him alone for three weeks, but once he got over it, he didn't leave my side. I turned up the volume on the television while Severus made bread dough on my lap. After a few minutes he had kneaded the blanket to his liking and settled in. I stroked a hand over the back of his head and he purred with approval.
"I missed you, sweet boy," I crooned, scratching under his chin where he liked it the most. "Who needs guys when I have you?" He purred louder, obviously agreeing with me.
I snuggled deeper into the cushions, trying to adjust to the way my body had ached all day. I hadn't planned on falling asleep when I closed my eyes, but that's exactly what happened. I welcomed the darkness. At least I would be free from the thoughts that bogged me down.
Chapter Nineteen
It took me almost a week to shake the cold, but by the time I was finally healthy, I was able to function without thinking about Alec every minute.
During my recovery, I caught up everything I'd fallen behind on during my trip and even outlined a rough draft of my next book. For the most part, I did a lot of sleeping. Olivia and Mom took turns checking on me and keeping me company. I did end up going to the doctor when my fever spiked, and it turned out I had a case of strep throat.
Despite being sick the entire week, there were some positives that happened. Wicked Lovely had made the major bestsellers lists and was still going strong. I'd been passed out in a medicated slumber when Olivia charged into my apartment with one of those horns you blow during New Year's Eve. It took me several minutes to process what she was so excited about, but once I did, I could hardly believe it. I could now call myself a New York Times Bestseller. My entire family had shown up to congratulate me as well, and we celebrated by eating pizza in my living room since I wasn't fit to leave my apartment.
Mom threw herself into planning my party with the help of Olivia. Neither asked for my input, which made me happy. I still wasn't thrilled with the idea of holding a party to celebrate me. My objections fell on deaf ears, so I ignored their efforts for as long as possible until Olivia showed up on the day of the big celebration.
In my typical fashion, it had been weeks since I had left my apartment. I was neck deep in book two of the Wicked Lovely series. The story was darker than my normal fare and I didn't need a psychiatrist to know why. All the emotions I had bottled up over my affair with Alec poured out in my writing. The story unfolded before my eyes. It wasn't exactly our story, but the passion and angst came directly from my soul. Never had a story flowed so effortlessly for me. It was like melted butter poured over popcorn.
When Olivia showed up at my apartment to "style me up," I used the new book as an excuse to try to get out of the afternoon torture session she had arranged.
"Absolutely not. You've been holed up in this apartment for almost a month, you hermit. Do you even know what the sun looks like anymore?"
I shrugged my shoulders, glancing in my hallway mirror. So my skin was a bit pasty, but it was all in the name of sacrifice. With Wicked Lovely still holding on strong on the charts, I wanted to make sure I was able to release book two sometime in the fall. "I've peeked out the window. The sun is that big bright thing that makes it so hot outside."
Olivia shook her head. "Good guess," she muttered. "Now learn to use a washing machine." I almost took offense to her comment until I looked at my yoga pants that were showing the signs of wear and tear. My tee shirt wasn't much better.
"Fine, skank. You can fix me up for the party," I finally conceded.
She took my words to heart and spent the afternoon giving me a complete makeover. From filing, buffing and painting my short nails to trimming and styling my hair. By the time she pushed me toward my bedroom to put on the dress she'd picked up for me, I was feeling pretty damn refreshed. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been pampered in such detail. I considered offering Olivia a raise and making these sessions regular occurrences. That way, I'd actually feel like a girl at least once a month.
Looking at myself in the mirror hanging on the back of the door, I admired the elegant knot Olivia had worked into my hair. I unzipped the dress bag she had hung on my closet door, smiling with satisfaction when I saw the gorgeous bright pink summer dress with a full skirt. I probably would never have bought it for myself, but as I pulled it on over my head and spun around, the full skirt twirled around me and the bright color complemented my pale skin and light hair.
I slid my feet in the silver strappy shoes Olivia had also bought and then stood in front of the mirror, studying my reflection. I no longer resembled a street urchin. Once again, Olivia had proved to be the best friend a girl could ask for.
She entered my room without knocking and smiled at the fruits of her labor. "I knew that dress would be perfect. You look beautiful."
"You did well, my friend," I said, linking my arm through hers. For a moment, we stood framed in my mirror and for the first time ever, I looked comfortable standing next to Olivia without feeling self-conscious.
"Ready?"
I nodded, feeling the first stirrings of excitement. Now that we were leaving, I realized it would be nice to get out of the apartment. Even if it was to attend a party in my honor. I would have to suffer through that part.
"Are we picking up Taylor on the way?" I asked, sliding into the front seat of her car.
She slid into the driver's seat before answering with a telltale shake of her head.
"Oh no. What happened? I thought you guys were great together."
She shrugged, backing out of the parking space. "He wanted more than I was willing to give. I liked being with him, but he wanted all that commitment-and-future kind of stuff. I'm too young to be thinking about tying myself down to someone right now."
Her words were like a slap in my face. She had no idea how close they came to what Alec had said to me. It would seem that the two of them had more in common than he and I did. They both felt relationships were the equivalent of being tossed in a jail cell with no chance for parole.
I decided to change the subject before the thoughts could completely funk up my mood. "I've decided to take next semester off."
She wasn't as surprised as I thought she would be. "I suspected you probably would. I know getting your degree is important to you, and I'm sure you eventually will finish school, but honestly, you're already in your dream job. You're a walking, talking advertisement for the slogan 'Dreams do come true.'" >Karen was watching me intently when I realized I'd gone into one of my infamous silent modes. "Sorry. He had to go back home for a family emergency," I answered, mashing the button for the elevator.
"Well, nuts." She looked forlorn before flashing me a smile. "I guess it's a good thing. I may have been tempted to steal him from you. Lucky girl. Are you headed down for the signing already?" She had noticed the cart I wheeled onto the elevator.