I squirmed under the comforter, but he held me in place. "I'll kill you, I swear."
He released his hold on me, nearly falling out of bed from laughing so hard. "Jerk," I complained, slapping at any part of his body I could get my hands on. "You're so lucky you didn't actually do that. We're talking burning bed kind of punishment."
"Aw, I'm sorry, sweets. Don't be mad." I couldn't see him, but I could tell by the way he talked that he was smiling.
I shifted my body toward him, finding the side of his face with my hand. "Fine, I'm sorry too. I couldn't resist," I said, gently stroking him.
"What if it wasn't a joke though?" he asked.
"What?"
"You tease, but one of these days I'm going to want to make you my wife, and I want to know you'll be on board with that."
The last of my giggling became a large lump in my throat. Even lying in bed, my stomach nearly dropped to my knees. Alec, who barely six months ago had commitment issues to the point where we almost didn't happen, couldn't possibly be hinting at something as permanent as marriage.
"I mean, I'd like to be further along in medical school, but one day the moment will come, and I want to make sure laughter will be the last response that comes to your mind."
It took me a moment to gather my thoughts, which were running away in several different directions. "I thought you said marriage wasn't in the cards for you," I said, recalling a conversation we'd had months ago.
His hand reached out in the dark to cup my face. "Marriage wasn't in the cards for me with Candace. That doesn't mean I never want to get married. I want a family for Lily, like you have, with lots of siblings," he said huskily, stroking a thumb across my cheekbone.
One of the things I had learned about Alec since we'd been together was that he was an only child. His mother was no longer able to have children after he was born due to some kind of complications during his delivery. Alec's biggest wish growing up had been to have a brother or sister. I tried convincing him how good he had it as an only child. I had to fight for everything while growing up in a sports-crazed house with three brothers. I had to fight for my dinner before they ate everything in sight. I had to fight for the TV just to watch something other than ESPN. And don't get me started on sharing one bathroom with three disgusting slobs, none of which had any sense of aim near the toilet.
In spite of my negative spin on siblings and the madness he had witnessed during dinner earlier, Alec still insisted that a big family would be his idea of heaven. The thought of carrying his baby created a warm feeling of joy that spread through my veins. I was far from ready to have children, but the promise of one day raising a houseful of kids was appealing. Snuggling closer to Alec's hard body, I suddenly felt more turned on than I probably should have been. The mere talk of babies should have had me scurrying away to double up on birth control with my knees sewn together.
"You don't want a big family?" he asked, gliding his hand over my hip to cup my ass. He dragged the lower part of my body toward him so that I was pressed flush against him.
"Yes," I whispered as his hands began tugging off my pajamas, distracting me from any further conversation.
***
Before I could blink we were halfway into December. My mind was in a constant haze, trying to plan for Christmas and my upcoming trip. It was a stressful effort to organize and prepare for two and a half months away from home. I practically broke down in tears one afternoon over the idea of leaving Severus for that long. Alec eased my mind, if only slightly, by promising that he wouldn't let anything happen to him.
My publisher was handling the bus tour side of the trip, which would be taking the other authors and me from one side of the country to the other, and that was after spending two weeks in New York first. Going over my itinerary with Olivia was as frightening as it was exciting. I had no idea how I would take to riding on the bus. Sometimes I was prone to motion sickness when I tried to look at my cell phone while riding in a car. We would be spending a lot of hours driving from one city to the next. What if I spent the entire time slumped over the toilet?
The only thing keeping me sane was the fact that Olivia would be with me during the first leg of the trip, and Mom volunteered to fly to the West Coast for the latter part of the trip to spend some time with me. Her college roommate lived in San Francisco, and she thought it would be a good opportunity to catch up. My agent lived in Northern California, so we would be getting together as well. If I could make it that long.
I tried to keep my apprehensions to myself as much as possible, not wanting Alec to worry. It was no secret that he was battling his own demons over my trip. He came home one day with four canisters of pepper spray, which I was pretty sure wouldn't make it through airport security, but I kept that tidbit to myself.
Somehow during the next couple of weeks, we managed to finish all the preparations for the trip and made it to Christmas Eve without any meltdowns. Lily had come over to spend the evening with us, and we laid out cookies and milk for Santa, along with a sprinkle of glitter on the patio for his reindeer.
"Are you sure he'll know I'm here?" Lily asked as we arranged the last of the cookies she had baked earlier with Mom on the special Santa plate we picked out together at the store.
"Positive. He's smart that way. One time my family was on vacation in Hawaii during Christmas and he found us, even there. That's what the glitter is for," I answered. Lily had been excited after hearing the news that she would be spending Christmas Eve with us, but the idea that Santa wouldn't know where to leave her gifts was a big worry on her mind. A call to her mom, Candace, helped reassure her, especially after Candace told her she'd leave a note for Santa, just in case.
Lily nibbled on her lip as she weighed my words. "He really found you?"
I ruffled her hair. "Yep, and he brought me the doll I wanted so badly."
"I want an American Girl doll," she reminded me. "I've been a really good girl." As usual, she sounded older than her five years.
"You have been," I agreed. I knew for a fact that the doll would be waiting under my tree for her in the morning. Alec had special ordered it months ago after studying the catalog for days. We finally settled on one that had blue eyes and long blond ringlets like Lily's. I even ordered matching outfits for the two of them. I joked with Olivia that the doll outfits were almost as expensive as Lily's, but I couldn't resist ordering a few. Candace bought the doll bed and wardrobe. My family even got into the action and bought every accessory she could want from the catalog. Dad ended up having to reel Mom in when she got a little too out of hand. Needless to say, Lily was going to have a very merry Christmas, and I was thankful I was going to be a part of it.
"Who wants cookies and hot cocoa?" Alec asked, carrying a tray of goodies from the kitchen. His hair was still wet from his shower, and he was wearing the Simpsons Christmas pajama bottoms I'd bought him a couple weeks ago. They were intended to be a joke, but Alec instantly took to them and wore them all the time.
"Me!" Lily jumped up and down with excitement. She laced her fingers through mine and dragged me toward the coffee table where Alec sat with a plate of cookies. "Me too," I said with equal amounts of excitement. Lily plunked herself on my lap when I sat cross-legged in front of the table. I wrapped my arms around her in a squishy hug. In the few months since I met her, I'd grown quite fond of the three-foot-nothing bundle of activity. She was too adorable.
Alec switched on the television and found a station that was showing classic Christmas cartoons. Lily and I made our way through our share of cookies and then climbed up on the couch with Alec to snuggle after he turned all the lights off but the Christmas tree. Lily held out as long as she could, continuing to chatter away until she fell into an exhausted slumber.