Writing A Wrong (Write Stuff 2)

"What?"

"I called and Lily told me you were taking a shower with Candace. I wanted to punish you," I sobbed. "But I'm broken anyway. The kiss did nothing. I ruined everything for a split second that felt like I was kissing my brother." I closed my eyes. There was no end to my shame.

"You kissed that weasel?"

I nodded, forgetting that I was on the phone with him. "I did," I said miserably. "I know sorry doesn't change that, and you have every right to be mad. There's nothing you could have said that would have been sufficient when I jumped to false conclusions about you."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No. I mean, not like you think."

"Not like I think? What exactly is your definition of sleeping with someone that is different from mine?"

The tone of his voice was sounding more and more livid. "We talked for a long time and he let me cry until I fell asleep. Nothing happened—besides the terrible, awful, broken kiss." I didn't know what I could say that would express how insignificant the kiss was. That I knew immediately I only wanted his lips on mine, not Greg's.

"I should pound his fucking teeth down his throat for taking advantage of you," Alec growled.

"It wasn't his fault. I'm the one who kissed him, but we both realized instantly that we could never be more than friends," I admitted.

"I wouldn't count on that," he growled.

"Alec, I'm serious. I love you. I was just hurt and confused. Don't end this over a misunderstanding." I was pretty close to losing my shit. I contemplated taking the wimp's way out and hanging up before he could lower the boom. Maybe I deserved to be dumped. An eye for an eye, or in this case, a heart for a heart.

"I'm not going anywhere—yet, but I need to wrap my brain around this. I need time to think, and right now it's hard with Lily running around."

"Okay," I whispered. What else could I say? When I thought he had been the cheater, I didn't want to hear any excuses either. All I could do was give him space and hope he realized we were worth another shot.

"I'll call you when I figure this out," he mumbled.

"Okay," I answered again. I waited for him to end the call. I didn't have the will to do it myself.

He did, without saying goodbye. I stared blindly at my phone for a moment before jumping from the bed. The walls of the room felt like they were closing around me. I was standing in the middle of a crime scene. A small shitty-ass hotel room with cheap furniture and stupid-looking paintings hanging on the walls would forever be burned into my mind.

I snatched up my purse and left, running down the hallway to my room like the hounds of hell were chasing me. My hands shook as I tried inserting the key card into the slot. Red light. I exhaled, trying to steady myself. Red light again. "Come on!" I screamed, kicking the door. Finally on the third try, the door opened and I practically jumped inside. I slammed the door behind me and slumped to the floor, allowing my misery to suck me in.

Chapter 17

I spent the entire day in my room, ignoring my phone and a few tentative knocks on my door. Sitting huddled up in a chair, I found myself thankful to be snowed in because it gave me the opportunity to compartmentalize everything. Maybe my tear ducts had dried up or my heart had sucked all my tears into the black hole it currently inhabited, but not another drop left my eyes.

I stared out the window attempting to come to terms with what my future held. The snow had stopped falling sometime during the night, leaving a clean slate outside. Everything was white and clean with a quiet serenity that gave me a small measure of peace.

The sun was beginning to set as I shrugged into my jacket and gloves and crept down the hallway toward the stairs. I exited the building through a service door, feeling the cold air like a slap in the face. I welcomed it, inhaling as much as my lungs would take. My nostrils stuck together with each breath. The cold early evening air was thin with none of the humidity I was used to back home. As I

trudged through the deep layer of fresh snow, the tight band constricting my chest began to loosen.

The snow crunched under my feet as I walked. Turning around, I looked back at my footprints, which reminded of a painting I had seen in the past. My calves were already freezing from the snow that had slipped under my jeans. I probably should have thought to tuck my pants into my boots, but I ignored the cold since I was determined to make it to the lake. I had spotted the wooden dock from my window earlier and was curious if it was cold enough for the water to freeze over. My toes began to tingle as the snow under my pants melted into my boots. I had definitely proven to be a novice when it came to surviving outside in the winter. The branches of the trees that bookended the lake on both sides bowed under the weight of the heavy snow. Every so often I would hear the sound of creaking and snapping as I made my way toward the water.

I finally made it to the dock that was covered in a foot of snow. Clearing a path with my feet, I shuffled forward until I reached a small wooden bench that sat near the edge of the dock. Using my jacket-covered arm like a windshield wiper, I swept away the snow to clear a spot to sit down.

I paid no attention to the wet snow that soaked through the seat of my pants. The tranquility of my surroundings seeped the last of my despair away. My heart was an empty vessel. I had no way of knowing what Alec would do, but I had to find a way to shake it off and continue to work. If Greg was right, the roads would be cleared enough to drive tomorrow and we would be pulling out. My readers were not coming out to see me wallowing in gloom. I needed to get my mind right so I could paste a smile on my face and give them what they'd come for.

The moon was high in the sky by the time I decided I could no longer take the numbness in my feet and butt. I trudged back through the snow, but I was forced to use the main entrance since the service door I'd used previously was locked from the inside.

I spotted the lights from the lobby, like a bright beacon to warmer temperatures, as I rounded the corner. The more anxious I became to get inside, the more I seemed to shiver. My stomach growled, letting me know I had neglected to eat throughout the day. The plan was to strip out of my soaked clothes, take a hot shower, order room service, and whittle away the evening by watching TV.

"Hey, were you outside?" Monica asked as I entered the automatic doors.

"Nah, she just left her room through the secret exit outside," Michelle quipped.