"Holy crow Haniel, you scared the crap out of me!" I said, trying to calm my racing pulse.
He raised his eyebrows at my words, but remained silent.
"Well sheesh, if you don't want me to swear you need to stop sneaking up on me like that!" I said, embarrassed that he had most likely caught me crying. Like most things in life, crying in front of others had always embarrassed me, especially in the presence of someone like Haniel. Besides, girls that used their tears as a tool had always annoyed me, and I shuddered at the idea of being lumped together with them.
"You are sad," Haniel said as more of a statement than a question.
I sighed trying to think of how I would explain to someone outside the human realm that the music had initiated my tears.
"The music just made me think about him," I said, deciding to give it to him bluntly.
"I see. Well, music is a powerful force," he said, obviously understanding who him was.
"Yep, it is," I said, thankful that he didn't push the matter further. "Why are you here? And how did you get in here without Joan seeing you?" I asked, puzzled that he had sought me out at work.
He raised an eyebrow at me, which looked silly on him, but was something he and I had been working on to help him appear more humanistic, as Sam and I liked to put it. We had made it our pet project to give him lessons on hand gestures and facial expressions, which he was starting to use appropriately. Joking, on the other hand, still fell flat with him, and Sam and I finally gave that one up as a lost cause.
I knew Haniel only indulged in my efforts to modify him as a means to keep my mind occupied and keep me moving forward each day. He wasn't the only one though that worked to keep me busy. My friends were equally guilty with the activities they had implemented, like Sam's sudden fascination with rollerblading or Lynn's new fetish with the mom-and-pop music store we had discovered downtown. Every other day or so, Lynn would drag me there to listen to countless new and different artists, which ironically, was how I had stumbled onto the country song I had just cried my eyes out to. Shawn had even gotten into the action by deciding that it was almost sinful to live in California and not fly a kite at least once every couple of days. He now had a growing collection of brightly colored extravagant kites that he and I would fly on the beach when the wind was blowing at its most optimal condition.
Even though their ploys were obvious, I was still grateful that they all cared so much that they would come up with ways to occupy me. I valued the alone time I got with each of them. Group outings were nonexistent now, and I knew it was because they didn't want me to feel like the odd man out. I appreciated their consideration though. Moving on was tough, and seeing my friends with their Links was painful, not because I was envious, but from the indescribable sorrow of losing Mark.
I was a rarity, being the only Guide in over five hundred years that had survived the severed bond that my Protector and I had shared.
"Ok, so, what are you doing here?" I asked, getting his silent message that as one of the most powerful Angels ever, he could go anywhere without being seen.
"I feel we need to discuss the plans you have been making," he answered simply, not needing to clarify.
I felt my knees give out from under me at his words as I sank into the chair. "I'm going after him Haniel. I have to." I whispered, not wanting Joan to hear me.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because I'm empty without him!" I said louder than I intended. "I have no purpose on earth with him gone," I added in a quieter voice.
"Krista you're wrong. You don't yet understand the extent of your purpose. Your place on earth surpasses any soul that has ever crossed my path," Haniel replied.
"Can't you understand how it feels Haniel, loving someone that no longer loves you back? I have to know why." I said dejectedly, knowing an Archangel couldn't possibly understand what I was talking about.
Much to my surprise, Haniel simply nodded at my words.
"Does that mean we can go?" I asked, not daring to believe.
"Yes Krista, we can go, but it will be on my terms, with stipulations of course," Haniel stated.
Chapter 2
"Like what?" I asked, not really caring what kind of stipulations he had. I would walk barefoot across broken glass for the chance to see Mark one last time. If his soul was indeed gone, all my plans would be dashed, but if it was just buried, I could use my gifts to save him. My fear though, was that even if his soul was savable, it might not change how he felt about me. I just wanted to try. Even if only to keep Mark from turning out like his father. If I could set his soul free it would be worth it, even if it meant I would have to live without him.
"I will explain it all when we join the others," he said. "You need to come with me now."
"Haniel I can't leave now. Joan needs my help today stocking the new books in," I said, indicating the cart of books I had loaded up.
"I will take care of your boss."
"Oh no, you're not going to do the mind-melt stuff on her, are you?" I asked, feeling terrible about the idea of manipulating poor Joan.
"Krista, do you want to go after Mark or not?" Haniel asked.
His point was clear. Why the heck was I worrying about a temporary mind lapse when we were finally setting a plan in motion? Priorities Krista, priorities, I silently reminded myself.