Meant to Be (The Saving Angels 1)

I knew I was taking the chicken’s way out, but I wasn’t ready to face my mom. I had already decided that I was going to keep her in the dark as much as I could. I was sick of being the constant source of worry for her. It was time for her to have the freedom to focus her energy on things that mattered to her, instead of always having to worry about my problems.

It dawned on me as I headed upstairs that I didn’t even ask Sam about the guy that was supposedly her dream guy. I hope he wasn’t some freak that had preyed on some young girl who might have confided in her dreams, too. I felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if Sam’s theory was wrong? I felt a wave of grief approach at the thought that Mark was just a regular person. I didn’t want to admit it to Sam, but a small kernel of hope had awakened in my heart that Mark might somehow be the person I had been dreaming about for years.

With a million thoughts swirling through my head, I twisted the shower nozzle all the way to hot. The hot water helped to ease away the chills that always followed an attack. Once my shower was over, I blow dried my hair and put on warm comfy pajamas before I headed to my room.

I took a few moments to give Feline the attention he craved. After petting him for a few minutes, he settled down on the bed beside me. I reached over and flipped off the lights. The emotional upheaval of the day had left me exhausted and I fell into a quick slumber.

I knew I was dreaming. It was the same as always. I walked to the edge of the tide line where we always met. He was already there waiting in the shadows, but as I approached; he stepped out of the shadows for the first time. My breath escaped me. How had I missed it? Of course I knew him. Hadn’t he visited me every night? Wasn’t it his hand that I had held thousands of times in my dreams? Even though I had been expecting it, I was unprepared for the emotions that assaulted me when our eyes met. All I could think was, IT’S HIM.

Chapter 4

I woke to my own sobbing. I stuffed a hand over my mouth so my mom wouldn’t hear. I didn’t know how much longer I could take this heartbreak. The dreams, that for so long were my only source of comfort had now become nightmares.

I sat up pulling my knees tightly against my chest, rocking back and forth. My swollen eyes were sensitive to the touch as I wiped away the warm tears.

Feline jumped up beside me on the bed. He could always tell when I needed comfort. His soft fur and the mild vibrations of his purring were soothing.

I glanced at the clock, 4:00 a.m. He had left me earlier than normal. I sat on my bed contemplating how well things had gone, especially since his face was no longer hidden by shadows. We still were unable to talk in the dream but it didn’t matter, somehow we could sense what the other was feeling. The reflection from the moon had danced on the waves, and I had felt his heartbeat against my back as he gently stroked the side of my face. Then suddenly, he was abruptly jerked away, leaving me feeling like my own limbs had been taken with him.

My throat was as dry as the desert from the sobs that had torn through me. I walked as quietly as I could to the bathroom for some water, deciding when I got there that a nice warm shower would be the best way to wash away the chilling side effects of the dream.

I stayed in the shower for a long time, letting the warm water gently massage my aching body. When the warm water started to run out, I twisted the nozzle to turn it off and stepped out of the shower. After drying off, I headed to my room to throw on a sweatshirt and jeans. I still had almost three hours until I needed to get ready for school. The sun was just barely beginning to rise over the horizon.

I walked over to my window so I could watch it rise. I pulled the cord that hung down from my ancient blinds. The blinds made a loud rustling noise as they rolled up. We had discussed replacing the blinds with some cute curtains, but we kept putting it off. I was sick of the ugly blinds, so maybe I would replace them this weekend. >Sam’s face took on a shocked expression.

“You were abandoned?”

I could have kicked myself, after years of keeping my abandonment a secret from everyone, I had let it slip out with someone I had just met. Of course, I felt a kinship with Sam, but I still couldn’t believe I had let my guard down.

“I was found at a rest stop when I was two,” I answered uncomfortably.

“I was put in foster care when I was two,” Sam said in a voice laced with surprise.

“You were?” I asked, not quite believing her. Was Sam some kind of freak that made things up to make herself seem more interesting?

I felt myself freaking out. I couldn’t help feeling like someone was playing some kind of joke on me, first with Mark and now Sam. I would have believed that this was their idea of a good way to torment me if Sam didn’t look as surprised as I felt.

Sam must have felt the same, because she looked at me to see if I was pulling her leg. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No, I wish I was. All of this is wigging me out,” I replied.

“Well to tell you the truth, I’m relieved. We can be freaks together,” Sam said, trying to lighten the mood.

I smiled a half smile. It was hard not to respond to Sam’s positive attitude. I had always been the glass half empty kind of person, but Sam was obviously a glass half full person.

We walked the rest of the way to my house in silence, both of us lost in the thoughts that were circling around in our heads.

By the time we reached my house, we both were sweating slightly from the short walk. I pulled open the fridge and grabbed two waters and two chocolate bars. My mom bought chocolate candy in bulk for me. I often joked that a candy bar a day, kept the doctor away. My mom had given up years ago, and as long as I brushed my teeth twice a day, she kept me stocked with chocolate.

I handed one of the bars to Sam, who was studying all the family pictures around our small house.

“My mom loves to take pictures,” I explained. “She hates photo albums though, so most of our pictures wind up in a frame, or get thrown into a box.”

“That’s me right after they found me,” I said, when I noticed Sam studying a picture of me where I was crying. My mom had told me that all I wanted to do was sleep. I never had to ask why, I already knew, he had been in my dreams, even then.

“I’m hungry,” I said, changing the subject. “Let’s order the pizza now, and listen to music upstairs while we wait for it.”

After ordering the pizza, we headed upstairs to my domain, which was more like a loft than a full upstairs. It was narrower than the space below, and consisted of my room, a bathroom, and a small sitting room between the bathroom and my room. The only other door upstairs of course, led to the hall closet that I kept mistaking as the bathroom.