Meant to Be (The Saving Angels 1)

“That’s what worries me,” he told me. “Sam says it’s not good for you to be having so many episodes.”

He brought up something I had been wondering about.

“Why isn’t Sam having these attacks?” I asked him.

“We talked about it while you were sleeping. Sam thinks it’s because of the rough childhood she had; that she is able to control it better. Plus, she thinks that a lot of this is fear, and she dealt with fear enough when she was growing up, so it doesn’t affect her as badly; not to mention the most important thing, which is letting Shawn sooth her.” He said chidingly.

“I know. It’s just a little tough for me to let someone in. I’ve spent my life handling all of this on my own.”

“Come on, I’ll get you some clean towels so you can take a shower,” he said, changing the subject as he helped me to my feet.

He left me at the bathroom with clean towels and a new toothbrush. I turned on the water. While I waited for it to heat up, I looked in the mirror, cringing when I saw my reflection.

“Oh my gosh, I look terrible,” I moaned.

My eyes were swollen from the tears and my skin was pasty from throwing up so much. Every hair on my head seemed to be sticking up in every direction from sleeping on it. I resembled a scarecrow in a corn field. I could not believe I let him see me looking this bad.

I stepped into the spacious shower and let the water wash over me, wiping away the last traces of the sickness. I stayed in the shower for a long time, gathering my thoughts and finally, filing some of the information away.

I finally turned off the water and dried off. Mark had given me a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt; I pulled them on, dropping the towel at my feet. They were baggy, but I didn’t care, they smelt just like him. I inhaled deeply enjoying his scent.

After I brushed my teeth, I left the bathroom and went off to search for Mark. I found him in the kitchen; he was finishing up fixing two cups of hot chocolate.

“I thought you might want a pick me up,” he said as he handed me one of the steaming mugs. “I thought we could take these out to the patio while the others sleep.”

Now that he mentioned it. Where were Sam and Shawn and where were they sleeping?

As if he could read my mind, Mark smiled. “Sam’s crashed in my dad’s room and Shawn took my room,” he said.

I felt relived. I knew that Sam was her own person, but for some reason I felt responsible for her. I knew I was being a hypocrite. Hadn’t I slept in the arms of the love of my life? Sure, I had been sick, but still.

We headed out to the patio. It was only 4:00 a.m., but the temperature outside was nice and mild. Mark helped me settle onto one of the patio chairs.

I took a sip of my hot chocolate. “That’s good,” I said as the hot chocolate ran down my throat.

“I added extra chocolate,” he said with a smile.

I returned his smile as I took another drink of the rich concoction. I could definitely get used to this. This is how it will be if we ever married, I thought wistfully to myself as a whole new warmth spread throughout my body.

“It’s so nice out here,” I said, sighing.

“I know what you mean, there’s nothing like the sounds of the ocean. Especially at night, the ocean seems to have a mysterious feel about it.”

Mark reached over and grabbed my hand. I studied his warm masculine hand in mine. I cringed when I saw his nice even fingernails next to my own ragged ones. My nails looked pitiful in contrast. I really need to stop chewing on mine, I couldn’t help thinking.

Shawn and Sam joined us on the patio shortly after dawn.

Mark and I had spent the last two hours talking about anything and everything. Mark asked me about college and I told him my plans to go to school locally.

I told him about my aspirations to help others, how I hoped to major in human relations in college.

“I want to be there for those in need. I would like nothing better than to set up foundations that would help others. It doesn’t matter if it’s as simple as raising money for books that volunteers could read to children in the hospital, or as big as finding funding to open a soup kitchen for the homeless. I just want to help,” I said empathetically.

“That’s what I love about you. You put the needs of others ahead of yours. I’ve watched as you struggled with guilt from lying to your mom and putting her peace of mind ahead of yours. I feel so lucky that the woman of my dreams turned out to be so fantastic.”

After two hours of talking, all remains of the dream had vanished. By the time Sam and Shawn found us, I felt at peace.

“Are you feeling better?” were the first words out of Sam’s mouth as she perched at the bottom of my lounge chair.