Meant to Be (The Saving Angels 1)

“I don’t want to learn,” I said stubbornly.

I knew I sounded like a little kid who didn’t get what they wanted. I was just so mad at my mom, and that my body had betrayed me yet again. I was weaker than ever, and I was sick of that.

Sam was having none of it. “I don’t care if you don’t want to learn. I’m not giving you the choice. Now sit up!” Sam said in a demanding voice that I never heard her use before.

With a resigned sigh, I sat up and looked at her.

“Okay, it’s simple enough. You know how you briefly lose your breath when you kiss Mark? You need to copy that feeling. When your emotions start to get out of control you need to hold your breath and close your eyes. You need to deprive your emotions of the oxygen they feed on. It will go against what your instincts are telling you to do, because normally you suck air in when an attack begins. You need to train your body to do the opposite.”

It sounded simple enough and even though I said I didn’t want to learn how, I hadn’t meant it. I was anxious to get my emotions under control. I was sick of them dictating my life.

I practiced for a few minutes with Sam, but then I had to lie back down. I was exhausted from the emotional upheaval that my body had gone through in the last twenty-four hours.

I apologized to Sam as I drifted off to sleep.

The dream woke me the usual way. I was able to stifle my sobs and Sam slept on.

I headed to the bathroom, closing the door softly behind me. I turned on the shower and stepped in. As the water cascaded over me, I thought about how I was going to convince my mom that Mark was the guy for me.

Last night it seemed impossible, but with the new day, I was ready to try again. It was bad enough that we were being separated in my dreams, but I was not going to let it happen in real life.

I sat in my sitting area reading while I waited for Sam to wake up. Once we were both ready for school, we headed downstairs for round two.

My mom was already up and fixing breakfast when we walked into the kitchen.

“Mom, can we talk about it?” I said in a pleading voice.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I know you think he’s you’re dream guy, but he’s just trying to manipulate you. You’ve never dated and your still naïve when it comes to guys.”

I felt the anger and other emotions well up inside me. I tried Sam’s trick and held her breath. Smother them back, I thought. It was much harder than I thought it would be and went against every instinct I had, but miraculously it began to work.

“You’re wrong Mom, he loves me, and if you would just let us explain?” I said with a touch of anger in my voice.

“I don’t want to hear explanations. I’m the adult. I know more about the things guys do to get a pretty girl. The subject’s closed; you’re not to see him again.”

“Mom, he’s in my history class, I’ll see him in school. Please reconsider, you’re being unreasonable,” the pleading tone entered my voice again.

“Krista, I forbid you to see him; you’re grounded. I will pick you up after school, and I want your cell phone before you go to school.”

“What about Sam?”

I could not believe how she was acting. She’d never grounded me before. We had always gotten along. Why wouldn’t she see reason?

“Sam can still stay over, we already told her foster parents. Sam you don’t have to come home when I pick up Krista in the afternoons, but I would like you back at our house by at least six each night,” my mom said, addressing Sam for the last part.

I felt the anger rise in me again. “You can’t keep me away from him,” I shot at her as I turned and walked out the door.

“Yes I can,” I heard her mumble.

I waited for Sam on the front porch. I used Sam’s method to fight back the waves of emotions. It was a little harder than it had been the first time.

I thought it was because a new emotion had emerged, despair.

Sam came over and gave me a hug and a look of sympathy.

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out and you will see him in a little while. We’ll see what ideas the guys have. It’s all going to work out.”

“I’m proud of you for controlling the emotions,” Sam added.