Thanking her, I approached the office and opened the door, ready to face the consequences of my actions.
My resolve quickly changed when I stepped into the office and saw a pack of wolves waiting for me. Suddenly, the only instinct I felt was to flee.
President Johnson sat behind a massive mahogany desk that easily rivaled the size of a twin bed. He looked as hard as a statue, but it wasn’t him who made me want to run. Nor was it Professor N, who was sitting in one of the three wing chairs to the side of the desk. Much to my dismay, the individual who made me feel like I wanted to be anywhere but here sat in the chair next to Professor N.
Trent’s electric blue eyes met mine, holding them as I walked cautiously to the only available chair in the room. Would there be no end to my shame in front of him? Averting my eyes from Trent, I faced President Johnson and waited for the verdict.
“Ms. Oliver,” he greeted me as I sat down.
“President Johnson.” I nodded. “Professor N—Trent.” I swallowed as his name stuck in my throat.
“I’m certain it is no surprise why we’re all here today,” President Johnson said gravely, sitting back in his chair, which swayed slightly with his weight. I had never actually seen him in person, and he was a larger man than I had pictured. Judging by what I could see, he was easily more than six feet tall and seemed at least half that size in width. His broad shoulders stretched the tweed material of the suit jacket that he wore over a starched light blue shirt. A sharp-looking red polka-dot bow tie added a whimsical touch to his professional dress.
I forced my attention away from his bow tie, which felt like it was mocking me at the moment, and worked on focusing on his questions. I knew why I was here, and why he was here. Hell, I even knew why Professor N was here. What I didn’t know was why Trent was here. I glared at him, but he was oblivious since his eyes were fixed on the president.
“Eh hmm.” President Johnson cleared his throat, summoning me back to his question.
“Huh? Uh, yes, sir,” I finally answered.
“Your current grades are not up to the standards we expect from our students here at Maine State College.”
I nodded my head but didn’t answer.
“Do you have any information that might shed some light on your current academic status?”
I looked over at Professor N for a brief moment before answering. “I guess I fell behind,” I answered. The lameness of my answer hung in the air. I deserved a smack upside the back of my head.
“You guess?” He sat back in his chair, exchanging a dissatisfied look with Professor N that spoke volumes.
Great. Not only was I a loser, but I had damaged Professor N’s reputation. He had vouched for me and I had let him down. Indecision filled me. When I had been summoned to the office, I knew my stint at MSC was most likely over, but I wondered if I could say anything at all that might change their minds. I’m sure I had no credibility and they would probably laugh in my face. The question was whether staying in school was worth swallowing my pride and allowing Trent to see me at my weakest. I gnawed on my lip for a brief moment. I sensed the ball was in my court if I wanted it. Damn. Pride was a prickly son of a bitch.
My gaze moved to Professor N’s one last time before skating over to Trent, who was still not looking at me.
“I allowed myself to fall behind,” I blurted out. “Some of the classes I’m taking are harder than I thought. I’m completely lost,” I admitted, feeling slightly sick at my candidness. “I was too busy doing other things,” I continued, squeezing the arms of my chair in a death grip. I focused my eyes on the rich wood flooring at my feet. Nothing like puking your pride and shame out in front of three intellectuals who intimidated you.
President Johnson sat forward again, addressing me directly. “You chose not to use the countless resources at your disposal to alleviate this situation?”
I raised my head up to look at him. I could shrug my shoulders in defeat, or I could continue to spill my guts in front of all of them. It all boiled down to how badly I wanted to stay. “I was too embarrassed to ask,” I said, proud that my voice didn’t shake.
“I see,” he replied, rocking back in his chair and looking at Professor N again. “You know, ordinarily in a situation like this, considering your extracurricular activities, we would terminate your enrollment. Here at Maine State College, we stand behind the belief that we should challenge and rise above the activities you have been fraternizing in.”
My gut clenched like I had been sucker punched. “I understand,” I said, making a move to stand up.
“I’m not finished,” he said gravely, stopping me midrise. Sinking back down, I waited for him to continue ripping into me before I was officially released. I guess I was getting what I deserved. My eyes moved again to Trent. I was surprised to see that he was now watching me. The intensity of his stare pulled an unexpected reaction from me. The embarrassment I had been struggling with completely evaporated and was replaced with something that felt like sadness. His stare was intense, but it was hard to fathom what he must be thinking. Not that I should care, but for whatever reason, I wanted to know.
President Johnson cleared his throat again, pulling me free from Trent’s gaze.
“Ms. Oliver, I am trying to make a decision here that will determine whether or not you have a future at this university. Do you think you can provide me the courtesy of at least paying attention?”
“I’m sorry. I’m just embarrassed.”
“The time for excuses is over. We’ve decided to put you on academic probation and allow you until the end of the semester to get your grades back in order. Trent has graciously agreed to help you with your studies. You will accept his help if you hope to remain a student here.”
I wanted to argue. Who did they think they were to tell me what to do? I was an adult. The urge to throw off the restraints they were trying to put on me was strong. I hated feeling trapped. Work with Trent or leave? Neither were appealing options. I glared at Trent. He probably had something to do with this. Blaming him made me feel a bit better. At least I had somewhere to direct my rage.
Silence filled the room as everyone waited for my response. Now that the gavel had been dropped, the decision was mine. I could get up and walk out if I wanted. I may not like the choices I’d been given, but they were mine to pick from.
In the end, I made the only decision