Her words repeated themselves on a continuous loop in my head. I knew she was right. A decision had to be made. The idea of returning to the cold forbidding abortion clinic made my stomach turn. I just needed more time.
Classes passed much as they had for the last month. I meticulously took notes in each of them, since it was the only thing that seemed to distract my thoughts.
“Hey, Brittni, wait up,” a masculine voice called out as I headed back to my dorm later that afternoon.
Turning around, I saw Jacob Miller hurrying toward me.
“Damn, you’re fast,” he said, jogging over to me. “Hot date?”
An ironic bubble of laughter erupted out of me in one quick gasp. “Hot date? Not unless you consider math equations hot,” I answered, holding up my book.
Jacob laughed along with me before swallowing hard. “I kinda heard through the rumor mill that you and Justin Avery called it quits.”
My eyes widened as I willed myself not to react to hearing Justin’s name. “I didn’t realize you and Justin knew each other,” I commented, digging my nails into my hand so I would remain focused.
“Sure, we all go back. Anyway, I’m throwing a party tonight and wanted to know if you’d come?”
“Um, I’m not really in the party mood,” I hedged.
“Come on. It’ll do you good to let off some steam.”
“I’m not ready to start dating again,” I interjected, trying to let him down easy.
“Hey, that’s cool. You can come hang out.”
I racked my brain for another excuse but came up empty. Partying was the last thing on my mind, but the idea of submerging myself in a loud environment had its perks. “Okay, maybe I’ll come.”
“No maybes. Say you’ll be there,” Jacob persisted.
“Fine. I’ll be there for sure. Here, plug your address into my phone,” I said, handing my cell over.
He grinned happily. I felt a twinge of guilt that he thought he stood a chance, but I’d been honest with him. What else could I do?
“See you at eight,” he said, handing my phone back before heading in the opposite direction.
“Sounds good,” I answered, although I was lying. I was already second-guessing my impulsiveness. I had no business going to a party in my current state.
The rest of my afternoon was spent weighing the pros and cons of going to the party. One moment, I would decide not to go, and five minutes later, I would rationalize that although I was pregnant, that didn’t mean I was dead. It was only after Melissa showed up to our room and accidentally let it slip that Justin had a date that I finally made up my mind. She apologized profusely for telling me, but I reassured her it was fine. It was just clarification that he wasn’t there for me and probably never would be.
With my mind now made up, I grabbed my clothes and headed to the bathroom to get ready for Jacob’s party. I was in the shower when Melissa knocked on the door.
“Come in,” I called out.
“Hey, so Rob and I are going to see that new scary movie that’s supposed to be pretty decent. Do you want to go with us?”
“Can’t. I’m going to a party.”
“You are?” she asked, sounding pleased.
“Yeah. You know Jacob Miller? It’s his party.”
“That’s good. You’ve been cooped up in our room for weeks.”
“I haven’t felt like getting out much,” I said, stating the obvious.
“Maybe Rob can set you up . . .” She trailed off as I pulled the shower curtain aside to reveal my incredulous look.
“Um, Mel, have you forgotten that I’m pregnant?” I asked.