I knew what he was asking. He was trying to give me more time. I shook my head, taking his lips again. He practically growled his approval, pulling me closer by cupping my butt tightly. His hands moved under my dress. The feel of his touch on the small of my back made me shudder with pleasure in his arms.
Without breaking the kiss, Bentley lifted me off my feet and carried me from the living room to his bedroom. My fingers worked at the buttons of his shirt, exposing the chest I’d been waiting to see up close and personally. It was the first time I’d touched him like this. I couldn’t resist running my tongue along his collarbone. This time it was his turn to shudder.
“Do you like that?” I asked boldly as he lowered me to the bed. My hands slid along his rib cage beneath his shirt. His skin was smooth and practically begged to be kissed.
“You tell me,” he said, pressing his body against mine. My dress hiked to my waist as my knees fell apart. Wanting to feel more of him, I pulled at his shirt until he shrugged it off. In the dim light from the hallway, I could see he was as lean as he looked. I ran my fingers over his taut muscles, exploring his chest and chiseled abs. Unable to resist the urge, I lifted my head off the pillow and circled his hard nipple with the tip of my tongue. My body was once again calling the shots, taking what it wanted from him. He responded by grinding against me, which made my toes curl with anticipation. Trying to elicit another reaction from him, I trailed my tongue over his chest until I reached his other nipple. I sucked it into my mouth, grazing my teeth over its tautness. He rocked against me again, running his hands up under my dress. His hands continued to slide upward, taking my dress with it until it lifted over my head.
He gazed down at my lace bra and matching panties that left nothing to the imagination. “You are so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, running his hands over my chest before reaching behind me to unclasp my bra. My breasts spilled out into his hands. His thumbs circled my hard nipples, teasing them.
I whimpered, moving restlessly against him. I wanted more, but didn’t know how to tell him. I wanted him to take me. He must have sensed my need as he shed his jeans and boxers. Shyness prevented me from looking down, though I could feel him heavy and hard against my thigh. I shifted, trying to give him the access that I desired.
“Wait, not yet,” he whispered hotly, lowering his mouth to one of my nipples. He sucked it into his mouth, swirling his tongue around until I arched my back. He chuckled lightly at my response, moving to my other breast, where he elicited the same response. “I guess you like that?” he asked, running his mouth slowly down my abdomen. My hips responded by lifting off the mattress as his tongue circled my belly button before moving lower. His hands gripped my hips, supporting me as he placed his mouth intimately on me. I nearly came undone, feeling his wet mouth through my panties.
My breathing became ragged as my hips jerked. “Bentley, please,” I begged, unable to handle the pressure that was building inside me. Sensing I was past the point of no return, he peeled off my panties and dropped them to the floor before pulling a condom from the nightstand near the bed. He moved between my legs, and I braced myself for the inevitable pain. It had been a while since Zach and I had gone all the way, but that part of it I remembered.
With Bentley, I wasn’t scared. I didn’t care how much it hurt. I wanted him too much. I felt him slowly slide into me as he coaxed his tongue into my mouth. My hands clutched his butt, trying to tug him closer. His movements were careful and hesitant, but slower than what my body wanted. Unconsciously, I lifted my hips so that he was buried all the way inside me. He groaned into my mouth as I wrapped a leg around him, locking him into place. His face moved to my neck as he began to move inside me, more forcibly this time. The same pressure I had felt on Friday began to build. I pulled him closer, gripping him hard on his back.
“God, yes,” I called out as my release ripped through me. Bentley increased his pace, thrusting deep and fast. I raised myself on my elbows, sucking his neck as he rocked hard inside me. The sensation was mind numbing. I’d never experienced the kind of feeling that had me unsure if I could continue to take the intensity, while at the same time wishing it would never stop. Bentley moaned with pleasure one last time before collapsing on me.
With his face buried in my neck, he whispered something that I could barely make out. “What?” I asked as my body relaxed.
He raised himself so he could look at me, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek. “I love you.” He looked like he was expecting me to bolt for the door. For a moment, I was tempted to. Did sex automatically put us in a position where we had to declare ourselves? Was he trying to pressure me into saying something I wasn’t sure of, or even capable of in the future? I was moving on from my past, but still had serious doubts as to whether love would ever be in the cards for me. I turned my head so I wouldn’t have to see the disappointment in his eyes, or worse yet, anger when I didn’t return the sentiment.
His hand moved my face so I had to look at him. “Does that scare you?” he asked, running a thumb over my bottom lip.
I nodded my head.
“Why?”
“I’m afraid I’m going to lose you,” I answered honestly.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Maybe not now, but what if I’m not capable of love?” I whispered, voicing my biggest fear.
“You just need time. I know that. I just wanted you to know how I felt. This isn’t a ‘you either tell me you love me or I’m gone’ moment. It’s just another step in our journey, that’s all,” he said. “There’s no rush, okay?” He kissed me so gently I could have wept.
I nodded my head even though I felt I was doing him an injustice by misleading him. I’d been down this road before. Love was nothing but an illusion. I could have ruined the evening by obsessing over it all night, but Bentley distracted me, urging our fingers to explore each other’s naked bodies. Eventually, he strolled out to the kitchen to retrieve our cold dinner. Not that I cared. Cold Chinese food versus what we had done was a more than fair trade-off. We ate in his bed, watching an old movie on TV. Any more talk about his declared feelings or my lack thereof was left unsaid.
twenty-five
Mac
Trina rolled over in her bed, pulling the pillow over her face at the sound of the alarm on my cell phone. I didn’t mean to wake her since I knew she didn’t have an early class today, but I had no choice. Today was physical therapy day for me. “Sorry,” I wh
ispered, grabbing the clothes I had laid out on my desk chair. I had already showered the night before to save time, so I basically just had to fix my hair and brush my teeth before heading out.
For the first time I was actually excited for my appointment. I had started feeling stronger since dating Bentley. Not only emotionally, but physically. I couldn’t wait to see if Jake, my therapist, would notice the difference.
I climbed from my vehicle and headed inside the therapy office with as much pep in my step as my leg would allow.
Mary, the receptionist, greeted me with a smile. “Mac, did you have a nice Thanksgiving?” She scooted the sign-in sheet toward me as I approached the counter.
I returned her smile. “It was nice. I ate too much food, of course, but that’s typical, right?”
She looked up at me, surprise coloring her face. “Well, uh, ain’t that the truth. I swear I spend the rest of the year trying to dump all the weight I put on during the holidays, and then start over again.”
I knew why she was surprised. Since I’d been coming, I had not been the most talkative person. Most of the time I gave one-word answers to her attempts at small talk. “My mom says the same thing. Doesn’t look like you have anything to worry about, though.” Mary looked to be roughly Mom’s age, but even wearing baggy scrubs, she was clearly trim and in shape.