Miss Me Not

"And you're sure I need to be there for all that? Wouldn't it be better if I was just there for the meal?" I asked hopefully.

"Hell to the no. You're presence is requested for the entire day."

"Fine," I grumbled, not wanting to admit how intimidated I was. I would rather swim with a tank full of sharks than be thrust in a family holiday. How I had gotten roped into it was beyond me. I was slowly beginning to realize that Dean was like my kryptonite. I just couldn't say no to him.

"I'll be there at nine," he said, chuckling softly at my response.

I responded by hanging up. Just because I caved didn't mean I had to go with my tail between my legs.

My phone beeped with a message.

Sweet dreams. D

Not likely, I texted back, still ticked.

You'll have fun. Trust me and stop frowning. D

Right. Almost as fun as sitting in a Justin Bieber concert.

LOL it's good to see you're looking at the positive. See you in the morning. D

Unless I don't answer the door, I threatened.

Chapter fifteen

Donna had already left for the church soup kitchen by the time I woke up the next morning. Thanksgiving was of course a busy day for the church, and I knew from past experiences that Donna would be in her element, running around setting tables, cooking food and taking care of those in need. Thanksgiving was a churchgoer like Donna's, feel-good day of the entire year. Sure, she'd give to Toys for Tots and spend hours at the church, making up hundreds of shoeboxes to send overseas to less fortunate children, who I'm sure just loved the mini boxes of crayons and twenty-page coloring books, versus a warm meal in their bellies, but who was I to judge? At least they were trying. Maybe, just maybe, if things had been different, if I had been different, I would be amongst them, making up goody boxes and patting myself on the back. I often did this. I would play the "what if" game in my head almost as a punishment. What if I had been different as a little girl and didn't resent all the time spent at church? What if I had embraced the lifestyle, integrating myself in all the activities the church offered? How different would my life have turned out? Would I be happier? Of course, like every "what if" game, we'd never know the truth. That was the point. I had chosen my destiny years ago, and now I had to live with it.

By the time Dean showed up, I'd pretty much convinced myself that maybe a day with Donna would have been better than spending the day with the clan of Jackson relatives I was about to meet.

"Wow, you look incredible," Dean said admiringly as he took in my new clothes. He let out a low whistle.

"Thanks," I answered, flushing slightly. I didn't want to admit to him how close I had come to chickening out. My pulse had raced uncontrollably when I left my shapeless, comforting, black clothes in the closet and instead pulled out a pair of my new jeans and one of the sweaters Sarah helped me pick out. I couldn't help grimacing when I studied my reflection in my bedroom mirror. The jeans seemed tighter than I remember them being the previous day, and I know for a fact that the deep plum-colored sweater hadn't hugged my curves quite as much the day before. I missed my safe clothes. My you-can't-see me clothes.

"Okay, time to pop your eyes back in, Sport-o," I said sarcastically as Dean continued to stare at me with open admiration.

"I can't help it. You're a freaking knockout. Now I'm wondering how I'll keep all my cousins from hitting on you today."

"Right, because I'm sure that will be a huge issue," I said.

A look flashed across his face, but he let the subject drop. "Ready?" he asked instead.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"It's going to be fun. You'll just be facing my family, not a firing squad," he said chuckling as he opened the vehicle door for me.

"At least a firing squad would be less painful," I retorted as he closed my door behind me. I could hear him chuckling as he rounded the jeep. Not finding the situation nearly as funny as him, I fought the urge to elbow him in the ribs.

"Chuckle it up there, Sport-o. It's all fun and games until your grandparents chase me off their property with a shotgun for corrupting their grandson."

"Isn't that supposed to be a guy's line?" he asked, laughing at my expression. "Trust me, Mads, everyone is going to love you. Besides, there's going to be so many people there today, I'm sure Papaw won't even be able to find his shotgun," he teased.

"Ha-ha, you're a freaking crackup. You should consider taking your comedy show on the road," I said drily.

"So, my mom really had a lot of fun yesterday," he said, changing the subject.

"Really?" I asked, hating the vulnerability in my voice. It shouldn’t matter to me if she had a good time.

"Yeah, she hasn't given herself much alone time since the twins were born. My dad has been encouraging her to get out with her friends. You know, the whole girls’ night thing you chicks like to do."