Forever Changed

“Well, you could have chosen to skip out on me,” she said, studying me intently like she was trying to peer into my soul.

“Yeah, I guess, but then I might’ve wound up in summer school and that would have sucked major as… err, butt,” I said, correcting my slip.

“So, Kassandra—this has been a tough year, huh?” she asked, relaxing back in her chair.

“You think?” I couldn’t help snipping at her.

“I pulled your transcripts. Your grades are excellent, which was a huge contributing factor Ms. Nelson took into consideration when she was deciding whether to suspend you. Can you tell me what brought on the change in your grades?”

“I’ve always gotten good grades,” I said defensively.

“You went from a grade point average of a three point two to a four point zero. That’s a huge jump in two months time.”

“I guess I just have more time for schoolwork,” I mumbled, not wanting to tell her the real reason.

“I understand you dropped out of your extracurricular activities and have more time, but I'm wondering if there might be a deeper reason that is driving you,” she said.

I shrugged my shoulders, remaining silent while I picked at my pants. One minute dragged into two and by the time the third minute rolled around, I finally looked up to find her watching me.

“Fine," I sighed. "I fixed my grades because it would’ve made my dad happy,” I said in a thick voice.

“Yes,” she prompted.

Sighing again, I finally relented. “I know my dad would've liked to see me apply myself more. He always said I had so much potential, but I would always brush him off, and now I wish I wouldn’t have.”

“Kassandra, I'm quite sure your father was proud of you,” she said earnestly.

“How could you know that?” I said, standing up aggravated. She knew nothing about my family.

“Because, you were his daughter,” she said to my backside as I jerked the door open.

“Well, I wasn’t a very good one,” I said quietly before fleeing down the hallway before she could ask any more questions.

I hid out in the bathroom for the remainder of the lunch period, trying to control my erratic heartbeat that threatened mutiny at the mere mention of what I had done.

My sour mood followed me through the rest of my classes, and by the time I made it to detention, I was ready to tear him up if he even dared to look at me. I sat in a different seat than I had the day before that was closer to the exit, so I could leave in a hurry if my emotions got out of control.

A different teacher's aide had the guard duty today. He was too busy texting to look up at me as I signed in. I scanned the area as I sat down and saw only one other person on the far side of the auditorium. Obviously, the rest of the student body was smart enough to avoid detention on a Friday afternoon. Squinting in the dim light, I tried to make out the other occupant and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was this girl Natalie that I knew vaguely.

Thank goodness he wasn’t coming today, I couldn’t help thinking as I pulled my phone out of my bag. The door swung open and sunlight flooded the space where I was sitting. My heart dropped like a stone as the silhouette from the one person I didn’t want to see walked in.

Without looking at me, he picked a seat on the other side of the aisle, several rows down. I was relieved he wouldn’t be in such close proximity, but the fact that I could still see him made the sleeping angry giant inside of me roar to life. Tearing my eyes from the back of his head, I angrily tapped the Facebook button on my phone, hoping to lose myself in some social drama for the next hour.

Unfortunately, Facebook held no appeal for me at the moment as my eyes kept drifting back to where he was seated. If he sensed my anger he didn’t acknowledge it as he gently used his drum sticks to beat against his jean clad thigh.

Time seemed to be moving backward as I continuously looked at my watch willing the time to move forward. Each passing moment so close to him only seemed to intensify the turbulent emotions I was feeling.

Halfway through detention, Natalie left to go to the bathroom and then never came back. If the teacher's aide noticed, he never gave any inclination since he was still texting madly on his phone. With fifteen minutes to spare, his phone rang with the most annoying tone I had ever heard.

“Dude, what’s up?” he answered. “Nah, I can’t right now, I’m still at work,” he paused as the caller said something. “No shit,” he exclaimed, finally noticing that I was watching him.

“Bro, I got to call you back in a few,” he said before clicking the off button. “You two have ten minutes left and then you can head out,” he said, grabbing up his backpack before heading out the door.

Seriously? I thought. He left me here alone with the last person on earth I wanted to be near. I felt like screaming as I caught him slowly turn to look at me as if he felt the same pressure buildup I was feeling.

His intense stare was more than I could handle and finally blew.

“I hate you!” I said with more venom in my voice than should have been humanly possible.