Forever Changed

I slowly pulled out of the parking lot feeling surprisingly okay with my decision. Even if everything about the situation would look wrong to others, and my mom would have a coronary if she ever found out, agreeing to go out with him felt like the first real thing I had done in forever.

***

By the next morning, I guess the ether had worn off because my optimistic attitude was long gone and I felt like a complete traitor for going out with him. I had made a promise to myself after dad died that I wouldn’t do anything for selfish reasons ever again. And yet, I was considering going out with Maddon and ignoring the feelings of my mom and Megan. What kind of person does that make me?

All day I struggled with the decision to go or not. I didn’t want to betray my family, but in the end, I wound up giving my mom some vague excuse about going out, knowing she probably wouldn’t question it.

“That’s fine, dear. I can’t remember the last time you went out,” she said, playing Go Fish w

ith Megan, which was a trial since Megan didn’t speak. The majority of the game centered on flashing the card you were seeking.

“You sure you don’t need me tonight?” I asked, looking for an excuse that would end the battle raging inside me.

“We’ll be fine,” she repeated a little defensively. “Go have fun.”

“Okay,” I said. “If you’re sure.”

“Kassandra, go.”

I grabbed my keys and purse off the loveseat where I had left them and planted a kiss on top of Megan’s head. “Ask for that one,” I said, tapping one of the cards in her hand.

“Hey,” Mom said, trying to sound indignant.

“Love you Mom,” I said laughing as I gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, which was a ritual I had felt I was too old for by the time I was ten, but had reinitiated once the accident happened.

“Drive safe and text me when you get there.”

“Gotcha,” I replied before closing the door behind me.

My smile disappeared once the door separated us. This was crazy. I should turn around and go back inside, I told myself, and yet, my feet seemed to have a mind of their own as they continued to propel me toward my car.

By the time I reached the garage where Maddon’s band was playing, I was a complete mess. I sat with my head resting on the steering wheel for a moment, gathering myself when a tap on the driver’s side window startled me. Looking up, I saw Maddon on the other side of the door.

“Too late to turn back now,” I mumbled to myself as I opened the door and stepped out into the cool Florida winter breeze.

“Hey,” I said, standing in front of him.

“Hey yourself. Are you okay?” he asked, looking concerned.

“I’m fine,” I said, looking up into his eyes that were as dark as the night around us.

“I’m glad you came,” he said, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“I’m still not sure it was the best idea,” I answered truthfully.

“Hey, you showed up, I’m happy,” he replied huskily in my ear.

His close proximity made it even tougher to breath. I had dated plenty of guys over the years, but had never felt so many conflicting emotions at once. My mind told me that we shouldn’t be together, but my body and heart protested otherwise.

“Come on,” he said, linking his fingers with mine. “I go on in ten minutes,” he added, dragging me toward the garage that was easily two stories high and looked like it could have housed a dozen vehicles at once.

“Wow, when you said you played in Drake’s garage, I was expecting a typical two-car garage,” I said as he placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me through the opening where the big doors had been slid to the side.

“Yeah, it’s cool his dad lets us jam here. Plus, there’s plenty of parking,” he said.

The interior of the building took me as much by surprise as the exterior. I had expected dark stinky quarters with cobwebs everywhere, but instead, the building was as bright as a grocery store and looked equally as clean. Even the dim corners where the lights didn’t quite reach looked as well kept as the rest of the space. The concrete beneath our feet looked like a broom had recently swept over it. Glancing around, I spotted a makeshift stage that was easily more than twenty feet long and ten feet wide. Several electric guitars stood on stands behind a large gleaming drum set. Wires crisscrossed along the stage, leading to the multiple instruments. A couple of guys I recognized from school were warming up on their instruments. Clumps of people stood in front of the stage chatting while they waited for the band to start.

“I need to get up there,” Maddon said, grasping my fingers momentarily in his hand. “Will you be okay?” he asked.