“I can’t see you anymore,” I said, between my chattering teeth.
“What? Why? Did someone say something to you? So what if you’re wearing a slightly-used dress,” he said, struggling to fix the situation.
My heart sunk at his words. So they had filled him in.
“I g-gues-s they c-couldn’t wait-t-t to tell you-u,” I said as the chattering made me shake uncontrollably.
“It was Clint. He was just being an asshole. The others don’t care and neither do I,” he said, trying to pull me into his arms, but I held myself back.
“Katelyn, let’s talk about this in the car, you’re freezing.”
“I’m-m almos-st home,” I stuttered.
“We have to talk about this,” he said, trying to coax me into the vehicle.
No longer resisting, I finally allowed him to lead me to the Navigator, knowing what I needed to do. The situation had gotten out of control and only a clean break would fix it. The warmth of the vehicle was almost painful as it slowly worked its way through my frozen limbs. After several quiet moments, I finally started talking.
“We can’t see each other anymore,” I finally said, meeting his eyes.
“Why?” he asked, looking like he had been punched in the gut.
“Because we’re no good for each other,” I said, louder than I intended. “You’re just too far from the world I live in,” I said calmly, trying to get him to understand.
“Katelyn, do you think I care that you're poor? Being poor doesn’t change who you are.”
“That’s not true. Being poor changes everything. You have no idea what I’ve seen or the places I’ve lived.”
“Katelyn, so you think I’m some kind of superficial jerk?” he insisted, pounding the steering wheel in frustration.
“Then why do you guys dislike Bethany and her brother so much, if being poor isn’t important?”
“I dislike Matt because he was a complete dick to my sister a couple years ago. He wouldn’t take no for an answer when he tried to ask her out. He wound up roughing her up, but she wouldn’t let my parents press charges. Bethany wound up getting involved, calling my sister all kinds of names, saying she’d led Matt on. It was a big mess and some of the bitter feelings are still there. Matt made my sister’s last year at Munford hell,” he explained. “But none of that has anything to do with us.”
I remained silent, fighting the urge to give in. His pleading tone made it so easy to believe that we could persevere through our differences. Then I recalled the embarrassing words I had heard while I lurked behind the door at Alicia’s house. Within days everyone was sure to know about Lucinda. Would Max feel differently once he heard all those sordid details?
“It just won’t work,” I finally said, swallowing back the knot that had painfully formed in my throat.
“Katelyn, please,” he pleaded.
I climbed out of the vehicle, trying to keep my resolve as I focused on reaching my trailer before I caved to his pleading tone.
“Katelyn, life isn’t supposed to be this hard,” he said, stopping me in my tracks as I was reaching for the door handle.
“It is for me,” I said, swiping away a hot tear that had escaped my overflowing eyes.
I stepped into the trailer, walking past Lucinda who studied my ashen face critically. I slid my bedroom door closed firmly behind me, yearning to weep, but all my tears had run out years ago. I hastily dragged the dress that had started it all over my head, barely noticing as several long strands of my hair became caught in the buttons. I pulled my sweats and favorite hoodie on before climbing blindly into my bed. I curled up in a ball, tucking my pillow up to my chest, willing the pain to leave me in peace.
I had spent a lifetime saying goodbye to people I had come to care about, but none of those separations felt as acutely painful as this one.
I had been right all along. Someone was bound to get hurt.
Chapter 10
Sunday passed in a haze for me. My eyes were swollen from my sleepless night, making it obvious to everyone that something had happened at the dance. Lucinda spent the majority of the morning trying to pry it out of me, but all I would tell her was that Max and I had broken up. No stranger to heartbreak herself, Lucinda was all too happy bemoaning the faults of the opposite sex. Jim tried to stick up for all guys everywhere, but one death glare from Lucinda had him retreating to their room for the remainder of the day. Ordinarily, I would have chafed at Lucinda’s solicitous behavior, but I welcomed her mindless babble since it kept my mind off the image of Max and his hurt expression.
Kevin was at a loss over my quiet demeanor and spent the day trying to get me to smile. Part of me knew I needed to snap out of my funk for his sake, but a stronger part of me continued to be held down by tentacles of despair. I fluctuated between anticipation of at least being able to see Max the next day and the dread of knowing I would be facing those who had judged me harshly because of a clothing item.
Lucinda offered to let me skip school the next day, and I went to bed knowing I had that option.