“I sent these images and more to your family to let them know you’re safe. All but that last image anyway. I sent a new image to them every single week to let them know you were still alive and well. That you would stay well, as long as they didn’t come looking for you. I threatened that if they did come looking, or if I found out they hired someone to come for you, I would kill you.” He blows a heavy breath. “I wouldn’t have killed you,” he murmurs, and I sigh in relief. He knows me too well.
“You may not understand at first, but I’m not doing this for myself, Gianna. I’m doing this for you. I don’t give a fuck about this life anymore. I don’t give a damn about running this empire, but my pride will not allow it to fall that easily. I refuse to let that bitch win. The truth is, I wanted to run away with you—to a private island I bought—and fucking marry you. I wanted to have a child with you. I wanted to create an entire fucking life with you. These thoughts alone make me feel pathetic, but I don’t fucking care because it’s what I want, and it is the truth. I wanted to make you my fucking world. But at the end of the day, my reality is this: being El Jefe. All of the world should know that I am not to be fucked with. And that’s why Hernandez has to die. But I cannot go after her with you around. Your family will protect you. You’re probably out of the country by now. Your familia will be waiting on a private runway. They will pick you up, and they will most likely try to ensure that you never see or hear from me again.”
My heart breaks when those words run through my ears. Never see him again?
I play the final message.
“Even if I die—even if I lose everything in the process—it will not matter. You will be safe. I will make sure all of your threats have vanished. You will no longer have to worry about watching your back in this world. You will finally be free. You’re probably wondering why I couldn’t tell you this face-to-face. I just…couldn’t. I am no coward. I am known for facing my issues and handling them like a man. But you are an issue I can no longer face. You are my heart. And I cannot say goodbye to you.”
I break down without even letting all of his words sink in. The tears have completely blinded me, but his voice continues, making me weak, each word crippling my heart.
“Yo no soy un buen hombre,” he whispers, voice cracking, breaking. I am not a good man. “I wish I was, for you, but I will never be good. I sometimes wish I was still the little boy who saw you and fell hard for your big, green eyes. I wish I was still that innocent kid who had a raging crush on you—the kid who didn’t give a damn about the guns, the drugs, the cartel, or any of this cruel, vile shit. The kid who made a simple promise to marry you. Cherish you. Protect you. Be good to you. But I cannot be that man. I am broken and cruel. I am corrupt and I enjoy all of this more than I care to admit. I thought I was heartless, but having you around proved me wrong.” He pauses. “I see now that in order to live this life, sacrifices must be made. So this is my sacrifice. I am letting you go. Not for my sake, but for yours. I have only caused you misery and pain, but you, mi reina, deserve to be happy…even if some of the things you have done may have just cost me my life.”
Those are his final words.
This is his goodbye?
I can’t accept it.
I feel the same way. I have only caused him misery and suffering. I am the reason he will lose everything.
I have been a burden all along, and he knew that, yet he still dared to love me.
He risked his life the moment he decided to give his heart to me.
11
GIANNA
This flight is longer than expected.
I’m still thirsty; I have to use the bathroom, but I can’t pull myself together enough to stop the tears. I hate crying, especially now, after feeling like I was on top of the world—like nothing could stop me.
This was never supposed to happen.
I betrayed his trust, shattered his loyalty, and broke his already broken heart.
What the hell was I thinking—no, what the hell was he thinking?
He never should have trusted me. He never should have taken me. He should have just killed me, the same way he did Toni. Being dead would be a hell of a lot easier than being brokenhearted.