“No, Ma!” His tone was harsh. Though I didn’t know anything about him, I could tell he was frustrated and fed up. “I put you in here because I fucking know you, and I know you want to get better. Stop letting the drugs beat you!”
“I don’t care!” she wailed. “I don’t care! Just let me out!”
“You agreed to do this, Ma. You promised me! It’s just withdrawals! They’ll pass soon!”
She blinked up at him but couldn’t rid herself of the tears. Everyone was watching them, but he didn’t give a damn. He cared about her that much, to the point that no one else’s opinions mattered but hers and his. That was awe-worthy.
The man’s phone rang and he sighed, pulling it out of his back pocket. He ignored the call, placing his phone on the table, before grabbing her hand.
I couldn’t hear much of what he had to say next. The volume of his voice had lowered, but I continued watching him, and all I could remember was how warm and safe his hands were when he touched. How good he smelled. I’d dreamt about his smell.
“Just get me out of here, Q. Please,” his mother begged. “Please!” Her voice pulled me out of my daydreaming haze. I hadn’t been paying attention before, but the security guards that were standing at the door were closer now. The man, Q, shook his head, eyes glistening, as he pinched the bridge of his nose and gave one simple nod to the security guard.
But his mother fought. She looked like a fighter, just like me. She elbowed and kicked and swung her arms, and her son yelled for her to stop it and cooperate, but she wasn’t having it.
They had to settle her down somehow, otherwise they were never going to get her out of there. Before I knew it, a nurse rushed toward them and a needled pierced his mother’s arm. The man breathed raggedly, the rims of his eyes red and glistening. “Take it easy on her!” he shouted at the nurse.
“Stand back, sir,” the guard ordered.
“No, fuck that. I pay this place to take care of her, so ease up!”
The guard glared at the man before putting his focus on the nurse who’d given his mother the shot. The nurse nodded, and the guard eased up on his vice grip.
“Take her back to her room,” the nurse commanded. “Sir, you can visit on another day, when she’s feeling better.”
The man let out a heavy breath as his mother stared into his eyes. “I’m doing this for you, Mama,” he said, still watching her. “You promised me. Don’t let this ruin you.”
The man picked up his phone after her limp body was carried through the doors that led to the clients’ rooms. “Be careful with her!” he shouted.
When the doors closed, he hurried out of the cafeteria and I rushed to a stand, following behind him. I didn’t know what the hell possessed me to do it. Perhaps I knew I couldn’t let him go again. I needed more. Craved more. I followed him out of the clinic and watched as he made his way toward a black Chrysler.
Maybe I was stupid to think he hadn’t seen me. Or maybe I wanted him to know I’d seen him—seen everything. Either way, before he could reach his car, I’d come face-to-face with him.
“Can I help you?” he snapped, and I stopped walking as he rushed away from his car and toward me. “You saw what happened and got a good show. Good for you! Now why the fuck are you following me?”
I blinked rapidly. “I…just wanted to see if you were okay.”
“I’m fine, but I’ll be better if you’d stop fucking watching me.”
He started to turn, but I shouted after him. He frowned, peering over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry about your mother,” I added. “I also had to deal with something similar.” As if that statement eased him, he turned to face me again, slowly this time. “You have a family member in there? Is that why you’re always here?”
In that moment, I could have told the truth, but I didn’t. I refused, because I didn’t want him to see me like how he saw his mother. As someone who needed help. Someone weak and desperate and…lonely. I could confess the truth later, once he got to know me.
So I replied, “Yes.”
His shoulders relaxed. “Oh…shit. I apologize. I didn’t realize—”
“No. Stop. It’s okay.” I shrugged and he dropped a hand in his pocket. “Look, this is going to sound crazy—I mean, I know we don’t know each other at all, but maybe you’d like to talk about it? It’s hard finding people to talk to when it comes to situations like this. Maybe we can grab some coffee—that is, if you have the time. Maybe this time I won’t spill it all over myself.” I laughed and he put on a small smile.