“Nah, I just like to see you guys happy. That’s all.”
Something he’ll never know is that I spent all night using my new laptop to write about how thankful I was to have him in my life.
Cane was a great man—a blessing—and he didn’t even realize it. He underestimated his love and even the goodness in his heart. I could tell by the way he carried himself, almost like he felt something was missing and wanted to fill the void.
Maybe something was missing, and that something was his family. He never spoke of them, and I had a feeling there was a reason for it. I also had a feeling they were still around. Was he hiding them? Was he ashamed of them?
I noticed a lot about him—things he didn’t want people to catch on to. His giving ways were a good distraction for the people around him, but they could never fool me.
I knew Cane cared about me. I knew he loved to spoil me, as well as Mom and Dad, and even his employees.
But at the end of the day, I always wondered why?
Why did he feel the need to give so much to the people who simply enjoyed his presence and his time?
What was he trying to change or run away from?
7
KANDY
June 7th, 2018
Diary!!! I’m back!
Today was SO AMAZING! Oh my gosh! I’m trying to figure out how to form it all into words. So, today was a big day. I GRADUATED! No more high school for this girl! Gah, I’m so glad to be done with it, and not only that, but I have a scholarship in my back pocket. I feel like a freaking boss!
Today was super busy, and I’m so tired writing this (it’s like 1 a.m. right now) but I need to get my thoughts down before I lose the high.
So, Cane told my parents a few weeks back that he wasn’t sure he would make it to my graduation ceremony because he had important business in San Diego the same day. I was bummed to hear it, but I understand how busy he is so I couldn’t be too upset. There I was, standing by the stage waiting to be called, wishing he was there. My mind kept circling back to him and I don’t know why. I should have been thinking about my future and the memories I’d made, but instead I was thinking about him.
Well, I walked the stage, right? And I hear my dad’s EXTREMELY loud voice (even though they tell you not to cheer too loudly when the names are called – lol) and I see Dad with Mom sitting right beside him, and on the other side of Dad is Cane. I’m so glad I didn’t trip in my heels while staring. He looked so amazing. He wore a tan suit with a sky blue tie and handkerchief to match. I mean it—amazing. Probably cleaner than I’d ever seen him before.
After graduation, I hugged the hell out of my parents when I realized that I’d be gone soon and would be far away from them. Of course Dad gave a pep talk, which only started up the waterworks for Mom and me.
Cane gave me a hug next, and he also gave me this beautiful bouquet of flowers. I asked him how he’d made it to the ceremony—that I thought he would be away for business. He told me he wouldn’t have missed my graduation for the world. I’m sure it’s safe to say that I cried even more hearing those words leave his mouth. I couldn’t help it. It was an emotional day.
Cane had dinner with us at a nice restaurant in Atlanta. Mom and Cane had drinks, Dad didn’t.
I loved everything about today. But you wanna know what the best part of it was? Cane didn’t check his phone or watch once. Not once, and I know because I watched him. There were no calls from Kelly, and if there were, he’d clearly ignored them. He laughed with us. Drank with us. Teased and smiled at me. He put my big day first, and let business come second. That makes me unbelievably ecstatic.
I guess what I’m saying is that I can’t believe I’m this important to him. Really not sure what I’d do without him.
I’m so happy, diary. My life is good. Seriously. What could go wrong?
8
KANDY
I truly didn't know why I wanted Cane so badly. There was something about him—something that made the pit of my belly flutter with frenzied butterflies and my blood pump with fiery desire.
He was irresistible, and I loved that he didn't treat me like a child. I loved that he was always there for me. I loved when he teased me. I loved his gifts and his presence. Everything about him pushed me into hyperawareness.