His stepfather was white, and didn’t bother hiding his distaste for his black stepson. That word he’d just used? His stepfather would call him that repeatedly. He would tell him he owned him, and that he would never amount to anything in his life.
His mother knew nothing of it. She loved the man, and Derek wanted her to be happy. Unfortunately, she died when he was sixteen. She was a pretty wealthy woman, a jewelry store owner, but nothing was left for Derek when she passed away. His stepfather took everything and didn’t look back, which put Derek in an orphanage for four months until he got in touch with his father’s brother and moved in with him. Derek hadn’t heard from his stepdad since.
“Fuck, I’m sorry about that. I really am. Like you said, the man was high. And luckily back-up came, right?” I asked. “He’s locked up. He can’t spread that hate around and poison the good people.”
“His daughter died, Cane. If I’d been on my toes and reacted the right way, she’d probably still be alive, you know? It would have been wrong cause he hadn’t touched me yet, but I could have arrested him or something while I helped her. I could have done anything, man.”
“You can’t blame yourself for that, D. You were shot, man. You said yourself that you should have been watching him. You can’t carry that guilt around. It’ll eat you alive.” I blew a breath. After hearing that, I needed a fucking cigarette. Hell, even a hard drink. I grabbed his shoulder. “Look, when we get back to the house, I’ll pour you a shot of my favorite bourbon. Just one, though.”
He laughed, but it was painful and forced, and his eyes were still sad and distant. “Two, and I’ll call it a night.”
“All right, two. But promise you won’t go crazy with the drinking. We’re on vacation, so I get it. But Mindy’s worried about you. You’ll have to tell her what’s going on with you eventually, D. She’s your wife. She deserves to know what’s going on inside your head more than anyone.”
“You’re right,” he sighed. “You’re right. I’ll tell her eventually. I just don’t want her overreacting or pushing for the guy to get brought up on hate crime charges in addition to everything else. It makes me look weak.”
I laughed, and then clapped his shoulder, catching his eyes. “You’re good, though, right?”
“Yeah,” he said, shrugging lightly. “I’m good.” He put his focus on the ocean again. “This was what I needed. To get away from it all. To not have to be Officer Jennings, but just a husband, a father, and a friend. Not only that, but I’m a lucky man. I can still work. I recovered well and wasn’t trapped behind a desk or on disability.”
“That’s right.” I dropped my hand and watched the rippling water with him. I couldn’t ignore the twitch of pain in my chest, though. My best friend was going through something, and I had been too worried about having his daughter wrapped up around me to notice.
What the fuck was wrong with me? It was clear he needed me. I had to be there for him, like he was there for me all those years ago.
I glanced over my shoulder and found Kandy’s eyes. She was standing now. She’d just finished taking a picture with Frankie in front of the sunset. She turned to look at us, and her smile fizzled, but still lingered at the corners of her mouth when her eyes swung over to lock with mine.
It killed me to do it, but I pulled away, and made a promise to myself to pull my shit together. Not just for Derek’s sake, but for Kandy’s, too.
21
CANE
“What was the whole walk with Derek about?” Kelly was lying flat on her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling fan.
She’d had a few martinis with Mindy at the restaurant and planned on drinking a little more with her by the pool after they changed clothes and got comfortable. I could tell she was wiped out and was only doing it to get closer to Mindy. Kelly always tried too hard to please everyone, even if it meant stepping out of her comfort zone.
I unfastened my cufflinks, and then unbuttoned the first two buttons of my shirt. “Nothing important,” I mumbled.
“Really? Nothing important? ‘Cause it seems to me that Derek has a little trouble with alcohol. Mindy said he’s hard to handle when he drinks, which leads me to believe either he can’t handle his liquor or he’s got a drinking problem.”
“Kelly, I’m not in a position to talk about it, so I suggest you let it go.”
She released a light scoff. Through the mirror, I saw her sit up, stand, and walk to the closet. She pulled down a cotton dress and made a noise, like she had more to say. “You know, the whole point of me joining you for this vacation was so we could get to know each other better. Talk to each other a little more,” she noted.