I wanted to give Kandy everything she’d ever wanted, but giving myself to her was a daunting task. She’d sent that text message to me, and I understood where she was coming from, and to be honest, I didn’t want anyone else to have her first. I wanted her to myself, no matter how greedy or selfish that made me. I refused to let another man or boy take what we both knew belonged to me.
With a sigh, I stepped in front of the tall window and focused on the body of water. It splashed over metal-gray rocks and sand, the docked boats swaying gently. It was peaceful. Beautiful. This was one of the many reasons I liked to come here and escape, because of this view. The tranquil sunset made the rippling body of water glitter in an alluring manner that would make any person want to drop their feet in, or go for a ride on a boat.
I knew I couldn’t stay in here forever. She was waiting for me out there, and the last thing I wanted her to think was that I didn’t want her…because that would be a fucking lie. I wanted her so damn much that I was sure the cravings would have killed me if I’d allowed them to take over.
If it wasn’t going to happen now, it never would. We were alone together with nothing but time, and for some reason, that thought alone was driving me out of my damn mind.
It was much easier to say no before because there was always someone or something to cut us off and prevent us from taking things further, but now that she was alone, with no protection and no disturbances, stopping wouldn’t even be on our minds.
I wasn’t kidding about what I’d told her in the kitchen. I wasn’t gentle or sweet when I fucked. I never had been, which made scarring her my biggest fear of all.
33
KANDY
I was starting to get nervous.
I’d washed the dishes, took my suitcase up to the bedroom he’d told me about, and now I was sitting on the canopied California King bed, running a hand along the cotton comforter. It was blue and plush, the walls a soft gray.
I liked this room the best, and could see why he did, too. The window right across the room gave an elevated view of the lake. I could even see a few houses across the body of water.
Cane was torn. I couldn’t believe I’d forced him into bringing me here and having us get to this point. Though I didn’t exactly make it an ultimatum, I implied it by making it known that if he left me with my virginity while I was in college, I would probably give it to someone else. I highly doubted I would give it to anyone right away, but things always changed—you never knew what could happen or who I could meet down the road.
Day and night, it was Cane who was on my mind, not some other guy. Sure, I could meet someone in college, hang out with him, and get drunk, but I probably wouldn’t let him take it as far as getting my panties off. I’d been touched by Cane on more than one occasion. I had memorized and craved his touch, and knew no one would be able to make every single part of my body spring to life like he could.
I was about to stand from the bed and go back downstairs, but the sound of his footsteps stopped me. I looked up as they came closer, and then he appeared between the frames of the door. His tie was loosened, the buttons of his dress shirt undone. His belt buckle was loose as well. He looked relaxed, like this was the look he wore after a long day of work.
“Took a while,” I said softly, but instantly hated myself for the nervous betrayal in my voice.
“I was thinking.” He walked into the room, looking around like he hadn’t seen it in a while. He drew in a deep breath and then unleashed it, dropping his eyes to mine. “Let’s not jump straight into this,” he declared.
I sat up higher. I knew it. He was calling this off. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…let me freshen you up and get you relaxed first.”
“How are you going to do that?”
He looked to the right, at the bathroom door, and then lifted a hand to gesture to it. “A bath okay? I have essential oils that I use for myself. Helps me unwind after a long day.”
I pressed my lips and nodded “Sure. That sounds nice.”
He was pleased, I could tell by the twinkle in his eyes as he shifted his gaze from me to the door. I wasn’t sure if it was the idea of bathing me that excited him, or if he was just happy to be able to finally see me naked.