“Jesus, are you okay?” She pulled my hair back, but I heaved again, feeling the burn in my throat.
“I must have eaten something bad yesterday.” I wiped my mouth with the back of my arm, then dropped on my bottom on the floor, pressing my back to the cabinet behind me.
“First you say everything smells like vomit, and then you actually end up vomiting…” Lora’s eyebrows pulled together. She tucked her fiery-orange hair behind her ears and dropped down to sit beside me. She was quiet for a moment, then looked sideways at me. “This feels familiar.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, this has happened to me before.”
My brows dipped. “Well, yes, Lora, I’m sure you have been sick before.”
She sighed and got up to grab a washcloth, running it under cool water before she handed it to me. I wiped my face with it as she sat again.
“Kandy, I think we should go to the pharmacy for a pregnancy test.”
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. “What? Why would I do that?”
Because I think you might be pregnant, Kandy,” she said, laughing hoarsely. “I was expecting once, okay? And I remember that everything smelled like shit, and I could not stop vomiting or feeling dizzy.”
“B-but I can’t be. I—can’t have kids. My doctor said it would be near impossible.”
“Yeah…Cane told me about that.” Her eyes dropped, but I tried to catch them.
“He did?”
“He was drunk when he admitted it. He kind of slipped up.”
“Oh.” I lowered my head.
“It was before Kelly died. That’s why I really asked Jefe for the favor. Because she took something from you that no woman should ever have to live without.” Her eyes locked on mine. “The right to be a mother.”
Her words, although intense, warmed my heart. I loved that Lora cared, but I still hated how Kelly went, even though I hated that woman more than anyone. If I was pregnant, I was pretty sure she was flipping in her grave. “I accepted the situation a long time ago, Lora,” I murmured with a shrug. “Maybe not before Kelly died, but I didn’t need her dead to come to terms with it.”
“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have had to. You deserve so much, Kandy.” She grunted as she stood again. “If you’re feeling sick, this is a good sign. It means that maybe something’s happening in there and that all hope isn’t lost. Let’s get the test, see what it says. If it’s positive, you’ll have something special to tell Cane tonight.”
“What?” I grabbed her hand before she could walk off. “No, Lora. We can’t tell Cane until I know for sure that I don’t lose it. My doctor said that even if I became pregnant, it could result in a miscarriage.” My vision blurred as I looked her over. “And if I do lose it, I don’t want him to witness it or know about it. I don’t want him to feel like he has to take this on his shoulders after everything he’s been through already.”
She looked me over and I could tell she thought I was wrong for wanting to keep it a secret, but eventually she nodded. “Okay. Fine. I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to.”
I’d kept a secret of hers before. I knew she’d keep mine, too. Of course, it wasn’t right to withhold this kind of information from my own fiancé, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up too soon, or his either. For all I knew, I just had food poisoning or a virus. And even if I was pregnant, I didn’t want him to get excited, only for something terrible to occur.
I looked down at the cushion-cut diamond on my ring finger, remembering what all it stood for the night he’d proposed.
“Everything you go through, I’ll be here for you. As long as you promise to communicate with me, and to not keep me in the dark, we will get through it. No matter what it is,” Cane said, looking me in the eyes as he slid the ring onto my finger. It was a perfect fit. He was still on one knee, giving me his all.
“And the same goes for you,” I murmured, looking from the ring and into his eyes. “As long as you communicate with me, I’ll always be here for you. No secrets. No lies.”
He smiled, leaning up to kiss me on the lips. “You like the ring?” he asked when our lips parted.
I huffed a laugh, holding my hand up and staring at it. “I love it, babe.” I dropped my arms, throwing them around the back of his neck. “I love it so much.”
After so many years of struggling and almost losing everything, he didn’t deserve to be put through another loss. I knew telling him was the wiser thing to do, but for the sake of his peace, I wanted to be sure before I said anything. I couldn’t afford to ruin our happiness again.