I read it:
Dear Joaquin Torres,
Congratulations! We are delighted to welcome you to our men’s track and field coaching staff! This is certainly a time to celebrate. Soon, the head coach will contact you with all information needed to get your coaching position in effect…
Is this real? Florida State? I read over the email too many times to count. Torres groans and I gasp, looking back as he rolls onto his back. I mark the emails as unread and place the phone back on the counter, then hurry to the dining table, straightening a few of the containers.
“Why are you not in this bed?” Torres’ voice is a deep, husky growl. He has that sexy morning voice and I’m sure I’d love it a whole lot if I hadn’t read those emails.
“I got you breakfast,” I say as he looks at me.
“I can smell it.” He sits up and scratches his chest. “Smells good.”
“Come eat,” I insist, taking a seat myself. “I don’t want it to get cold.”
He rises, shuffling across the room in only his boxers and sitting in the chair opposite mine. He’s smiling and warm and open. I look down, picking up some fruit.
“So…want to go out somewhere today?” he asks.
“No…we can stay here. I like being alone with you.”
He grins after taking a bite of bacon. I force a smile and I think he notices.
“You okay?” he inquires, cocking a brow. He slows his chewing as I nod.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re acting a little strange.”
I wave a dismissive hand. “Oh, I’m great.”
He frowns and I look away to shuffle the eggs around in my takeout box. “Amber,” he calls, but I avoid his eyes.
“Yes?”
“What’s going on?” I can hear the seriousness seeping into his tone. He’s no longer taking things lightly. I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions. I’m pissed about something and he knows it.
I finally drop my fork and fold my arms to look him in the eye. “Why did you really come to Raleigh, Joaquin?” I demand.
He seems confused by the question. “I wanted to see you, Amber. What kind of question is that?”
“No other reason?”
“What other reason could there possibly be?” he counters.
“Oh—I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you’re leaving to go to Florida!” I snap, and his face collapses. “That’s why you really came here, isn’t it? This is your official goodbye to me!” The tears immediately attack me.
“What? Amber—no! I didn’t come here to say goodbye—I mean, yes, I’m going to Florida for a job, but this isn’t goodbye! How do you even know about that?”
“I saw an email on your phone, but that doesn’t matter! What is this then, huh? You’ll be further away and I’ll still be here! I’ll never see you again, and you know it, so this has to be some form of goodbye, right?”
“Amber, this job is a great opportunity for me, and just because I’ll be there doesn’t mean I won’t visit. You forget my mother still lives in Fayetteville.”
“Yes, but…” I run a hand over the top of my head. I can’t believe this. “Why Florida?” I ask, and damn my voice for breaking. “W-why can’t you find a job here? Somewhere close?”
Torres sighs and smashes his lips together. He pushes up from the table and stands in middle of the hotel room, looking at me as I look at him. We don’t speak for a long, long time.
Defeated, I leave the table to sit on the edge of the bed with my back to him. I feel ridiculous—selfish, even—but Florida? He was gone for a month and that shattered my heart, and now that some of the pieces have been collected and pieced back together, I find out he’s leaving North Carolina altogether.
“You wouldn’t have to leave if it weren’t for me,” I whisper. “All of this is my fault, whether you say so or not.”
I hear him sigh behind me and then he’s beside me, sitting on the edge of the bed too. “You can say this is your fault all you want, but I don’t see it that way and neither should you. Shit happens, Amber. That’s the way life is.” He reaches for my hand and places it on his lap. “You’re worried I’ll forget about you—that things won’t be the same.”
“Yeah because they won’t, Torres! We’ll be living two very different lives in very different places!”
“Yes, but we will always talk to each other. That won’t change, Amber. This job? It’s a big opportunity for me—even bigger than Bennett. They had an opening and I went for it. It’s not Ivy League but it’s D-1, and it pays really, really well, and not only that, but Hamilton gave them a recommendation letter when I requested one. She did me a favor. I would be stupid not to take it.”
I nod because I do understand, I’m just so devastated to know this. He’s going to be even more miles away from me and I don’t know how that will work between us. Maybe this isn’t goodbye, but it’s a see you again one day kind of thing, which is much, much worse.