Until the Last Breath

And every day, I wish this agony would end. Not for my sake, but for his.

NINE

Past

Two Years Ago – John & me

“John, come on!” I gestured for him to hurry as I pulled open the glass door on the cruise ship.

John fixed the silver watch on his wrist, shuffling forward as fast as possible in his dress pants and white button-down shirt. He was doing his best to keep up with me.

Not that our age difference mattered—we were only four years apart and he kept himself in great shape—but he had more of a mature mindset than I did, plus I had way more energy.

After dating for two wonderful years, we decided to get hitched. The cruise we planned was a spur of the moment kind of thing and I didn’t have many friends that were free, so I chose Tessa and her boyfriend to tag along. I didn’t want a regular honeymoon and neither did John surprisingly. We were okay with having company with us.

At the age of twenty-four, I thought I was too young for marriage—that I needed more time—but John was with me through it all, fighting for me, paying off some of my debts (though I’d rejected his help on many, many occasions), and being my comfort whenever I needed him. Plus, he cooked the most amazing meals for me, always feeding me without me ever having to ask.

I knew he was the one who could truly make me happy and support me no matter what, and that’s what I needed most after all I’d been through before—a support system. It’s what we both needed, which is why I didn’t hesitate saying yes when he knelt down on one knee on a ferry ride in New York City to ask me to marry him.

“Babe, you’ve gotta slow down.” He met me at the door, slipping an arm around my waist and reeling me into him, his warm lips pressing on my cheek. My body warmed up and I felt a flutter at the pit of my belly as he whispered in my ear, “Save some of that energy for later when we’re back in the room.”

I blushed ridiculously hard, avoiding the conversation of the events that we both knew would take place later on that night.

“Come on. The fire dancing is about to start.” I gripped his hand, rushing forward.

A crowd greeted us after we took the long corridor down, and I pushed through, making sure to hold onto John’s hand.

When we finally got close to the front of the deck, I met up to Tessa and Danny and released John’s hand to clap mine together, bouncing on my toes as a man spewed a fierce ball of fire in the air. “Finally!” Tessa shouted over the music. She stepped to my side, cupping my face in her hands. “Guess what?”

“What?” I asked as her face turned serious.

She released my hand and held out hers, and when I spotted the large diamond on her ring finger, I squealed.

“Holy shit!”

A few people looked our way, some with rude glares and some laughing, but I was only one or two more tequila shots away from being drunk so, of course, caring about anyone’s opinion on my honeymoon was futile.

“Tessa! Is that what I think it is?” I met her green eyes.

She nodded, ecstatic. “It is! Danny just proposed right at the table!” She pointed over me to the table we sat at for dinner only an hour ago.

I looked over her at Danny who smiled bashfully. He was so shy, and a bit of an introvert, but he was perfect for Tessa.

Tessa is the outgoing one—the type of person who will defend her own honor as well as the honor of everyone else she loves in a heartbeat. She’s loyal as long as you are loyal to her and she doesn’t take any shit from anyone, which is why Danny was good for her. He respected and loved her for who she truly was, despite her loud mouth and crazy attitude.

“Congrats!” John appeared over my shoulder, studying her stunning cushion-cut diamond. “Man,” he said, looking at Danny who stepped to Tessa’s side. “You did good! It’s beautiful!”

Tessa nodded, holding her hand out, letting the strobe lights reflect on it. “It’s almost better than yours, Shannon.” She busted out laughing and I pursed my lips, sticking up my ring finger as if it was my middle one.

John belted out a laugh, then looked down at me and said, “I’m gonna grab us something to drink.” He dropped a kiss on my cheek. “You two want anything while I’m there?” he asked Tessa and Danny.

“Yeah. I’ll come with you.” Danny walked with John and Tessa and I watched them go.

When they were out of earshot, Tessa asked, “You think it’s too soon?” She turned to face me. She had three inches of height on me, her body perfect for the modeling career she wanted to pursue after college. “I mean, I know I only just turned twenty-one and have my whole life ahead of me, but I love him, Shannon. I really do. I see so much of my future with him.”