Until the Last Breath

“The doctor.”

John stares at Max before stepping sideways and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Max takes a step in, smiling awkwardly at me. “You okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine.” He needs to leave. This is not the time.

“I feel like shit,” he says, looking me over. “I didn’t know…didn’t realize…”

“Stop blaming yourself. It’s fine, Max. Seriously. It could have happened anywhere.”

Max sighs then turns to face John, extending his arm and offering a hand. “I apologize for intruding. I’m Max Grant. A friend of Shannon’s.”

“John Streeter.” He shakes Max’s hand with a firm grip.

“Cool. So, uh, listen.” He steps back, scratching the top of his head. “I just wanted to take Shannon out for some air. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I stopped by to visit, check on her, and offered to take her to the park, get her out the house. I was looking out for her while we were there. I would never let anything happen to her.”

John looks him over. “I would appreciate it if you ran things like that by me first. I’m sure you know that she can be a bit of a rebel. Truth is, she can’t handle that lifestyle anymore.”

I roll my eyes.

Max is quiet a moment, his eyes narrowing as he stares at John. “That’s uh—” He hesitates, and I hope like hell he isn’t about to say something rude. “Is she even allowed to go downstairs to sit on the patio? Maybe out by the pool if she wants?”

John’s head shakes. “After today, it will be a while before any of that happens.”

“John,” I call.

“Wow.” Max gives a dry laugh, turning to look at me. “I guess I wasn’t overreacting about what I said before.”

“Overreacting about what?” John asks, confused.

“Max.” Jesus, I feel like I’m breaking up a school fight with two little boys right now.

Max disregards him. “Shannon, I’m gonna get outta here. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m okay. Thank you for checking.” Though I’m grateful he stuck around, I give him a stern look. The sooner he leaves, the better. I know how Max is. It’s very hard for him to hold his tongue. I suppose I can give Max credit for his respect, though. He won’t disrespect a man in his own home—especially a home he shares with a woman he cares about.

Max nods and turns away but not before giving John a quick side-eye. John watches him go, then shuts the door and looks at me.

“I’m…I mean, fuck, Shannon.” He rubs his face, causing white streaks to appear. “Where did you even meet this guy? You’ve never told me about him.”

I don’t say anything. Instead I pluck at a loose string on the sheets beneath me.

“I’ll call Dr. Barad back up,” John mutters when he realizes he won’t get an answer right now. “I don’t even want to know what the hell that was about.” He swings the door open and exits the room and I draw in a breath. I bring the blue blanket on the bed to my lap, feeling so much guilt consume me.

I shouldn’t have gone out. None of this would have happened if I’d stayed home. Now, I’m going to have a hawk of a husband around until the day I die.

And Max? Well, I’m not even sure what’s going to happen with him but I hope he understands and I hope he doesn’t blame himself for the craziness my body goes through on a daily basis. It had nothing to do with him at all.

This is why I wanted him to stay away. I’m a ticking bomb—a threat to emotions and unstable hearts. I could break every single person in this house at any given moment and know they’ll never recover from it.

I swear these rough times remind me of how much I miss the old John. The man who wasn’t so hard on me or himself. The man who took life day by day, just as I did, instead of worrying about every small breath, every little movement.

Dr. Barad comes back into the room and asks me a series of questions. I answer as best as I can, and as Dr. Barad tampers with a bag of OPX for an hour-long drip treatment, I can’t help thinking about my first date with John—back when things were better, happier.

We were supposed to go see an action movie that had Will Smith in it. I told John before that it would sell out because, duh, Will Smith is a superb actor and it was a Friday night.

He didn’t believe me until we arrived at the theater and stood in line for nearly an hour just to be told that the showing was sold out.

“I knew I should have bought the tickets online,” John said as we got back in the car.