Until the Last Breath

I broke out in a laugh. “Oh, you really just went there!”

“I did, Strange Girl!” He smirked and killed the engine, then climbed out the car.

I climbed out too and watched as he walked around the front bumper and met at my side.

“I suppose you can cook for me. After all, I am starving, and I am eager to see what you can do in a kitchen.”

“Okay, then. I’ve got you.” He had on the biggest smile as he walked with me to the building. “As long as you promise not to attack me with a wrench, I’ll cook for you whenever you want.”

We both laughed this time and it felt good. I liked him a lot. He was easy-going and deep and a great listener.

I could also tell he liked me too.

TWENTY

“Shannon?” Fingers snap in my face and I blink. I look down at the IV taped to my arm, then up at the bag that’s nearly empty of the clear liquid, hanging on the silver pole. Tessa’s face comes into view, her eyes wide. “Did you hear me?” she asks.

“Hear what?”

“John made chickpea soup. You hungry? Do you want some?”

I take a look around the room, stopping at the bathroom door. John is in there. The door is cracked open and I can see him through the gap. He’s gripping the counter edge with his head hung low.

“Uh, yeah sure. I’ll take some.” I don’t want it right now, but I need her to leave so I can talk to him alone.

“Okay. Coming right up.” She saunters out of the bedroom and with the little energy I have, I take out the IV and stand up sluggishly, walking to the bathroom door.

When I push it open, John looks at me through the mirror. His eyes are red and damp. “John?”

He looks down again. “You didn’t have to take out the IV, Shannon. I was going to do it for you.”

I ignore him, stepping closer. “What’s wrong?” I grab his arm to turn him and then cup his face in my hands. One thick tear lines his cheek and he avoids my eyes. My heart instantly aches. Oh my God. What have I done?

“Babe, why are you crying?” I whisper, my throat thick with tears.

He swipes at his face roughly, like a child, but I stop him. “I need to be here,” he croaks. “I can’t be at work while you go through all of this.”

“But I’m okay, John. I swear. Today was just a small mishap. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s not just about today. It’s every day from now on.” He picks me up and sits me on top of the counter. Stepping between my legs and looking at me, his arms go around my waist and he says, “I’m supposed to go out of town next week.”

“Next week?” I frown. “Where?”

“Remember a few months back before all of this, I was telling you about a cooking competition. Twenty-thousand-dollar prize. Winner takes all.”

“Oh.” I blink, lowering my hands.

“I’ve been wanting to remind you about it, it just never felt like the right time to bring it up with so much going on.” He lowers his head, clearly ashamed. “I’m torn about this because you were and still are going through so much and with this, it’s like a once in a lifetime thing. It’s hard getting accepted into these competitions.”

“Yeah,” I whisper. “I understand.”

He tilts my chin so I can look at him. “They sent me an email a month ago. I was going to tell you that day but it wasn’t a good day for you.”

“Well,” I say in a low, calm voice. “I think you should go.”

His eyes spark, and my heart nearly skips a beat. I haven’t seen a spark in his eyes like this in months “You serious?”

“I’m so serious. You don’t have to stay back for me. I will be fine.”

He reveals a full white smile and I want to hug him.

“Where will it be?” I ask, biting back tears.

“Vegas.”

“Man. If only I could go too,” I laugh.

His face warps immediately, that spark becoming dull in his eyes again. “I was just talking to Dr. Barad about that. I asked him if you could come with me. He said the flight wouldn’t be a problem as long as you have your device and you’re comfortable, but his concern is with the heat in Vegas. The air is dryer there. He doesn’t think that’s the best place for you to go…not like this.”

“Oh.” An ache builds in my chest.

Not being able to see my husband cook off or being able to see him have fun doing something he loves? That sucks. It’s a blow straight to the gut. But when I look into his blue eyes, I know I can’t be the one to hold him back. He has dreams to catch, and it’s not like he’ll be there forever. I’d love to go and watch him, root him on, but I can’t, and that is something I have to accept, just like everything else.