Until the Last Breath

My smile never fades, even as I look at Max, watching as he points across the street at a building, saying he’s heard of the place and how we should go there tomorrow. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him so calm and collected. Years, honestly.

Max, he’s stronger now and he has every reason to be because his past was difficult. To this day, I know the tragedies haunt him.

I tried keeping up with him in the past, especially when reality would hit him hard. I tried fighting his demons with him, but he only pushed me away.

What many don’t know is that Max abandoned me for a short period of time while we were together. Even though it was brief, it felt like a lifetime and, to this day, it still kind of hurts to think about.

I can forgive him now for all of it because I know that some demons are really hard to fight. But back then, it was so hard for me to forgive him because my love for him was so unconditional, and I couldn’t accept the fact that his love for me wasn’t the same.

TWENTY-NINE

Past

Max and I had planned a trip to Hilton Head Island for Fourth of July weekend. I could picture it before it’d even happened. It was going to be so romantic. Large ocean waves and the bright bold sun to bask in. It would be peaceful, relaxing.

It was the first time Max wasn’t going to spend the 4th with his parents. This, to me, proved we’d made progress in our relationship. He wanted to be with me, and I’d felt like the luckiest girl in the world. It’d been a year and two months for us now.

His mother, a beautiful woman with high cheekbones (that Max clearly got from her) and rich brown eyes, hugged him tight. She was a petite woman and, standing in front of Max, she looked like a child hugging a tree. It was so cute I laughed.

“Hey now,” she said, looking at me with a playful smile, “don’t you laugh. Come here! You get one too.” My lips broke into a soft smile as I walked to her, falling into her tight embrace.

She made a noise as if she didn’t ever want to let me go. It was weird feeling this kind of affection from someone else’s mother. I’d never really received that kind of love, but it felt nice and warm and comforting.

Max’s mom invited me over for dinner often. We even went shopping together here and there, just me and her. We bonded quite well. We’d shop and splurge and laugh and then grab pretzels from Auntie Anne’s along with their delicious strawberry lemonade.

Finally releasing me, Mrs. Grant stepped back and Max gave her a swift kiss on the cheek. “Love you, Mom. We gotta go,” Max said, grabbing my hand and leading the way to his car.

I slid in the passenger seat, clipping my seat belt as he brought the engine to life.

“Be safe!” The Grant’s called as they stood on their porch.

Max waved a hand out of his open window, hollering, “I love you!” When we were out of the neighborhood, he laughed and said, “My parents will never let me grow up.”

“They’re wonderful people,” I said. “I’m sure it’ll be different for them this year since you won’t be with them. They’ll miss you.”

“Yeah, I know.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “They adore you, you know?”

“I adore them too.”

With the traffic, the ride turned out to be a four-hour drive. I dozed off a couple times, awaking to a nudge on the arm here and there from Max who asked me several times if I was hungry or needed a restroom break.

I stayed awake during the final hour of our ride, singing some tunes by Maroon 5 and The Foo Foo Fighters with him.

I was giddy by the time we pulled up to the hotel. Max popped the trunk open, pulling out my suitcase and then his before slinging a backpack over his shoulder.

“I don’t think you’re ready for this weekend, babe,” he said as I shut the passenger door.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been anticipating this trip for weeks. I finally get to relax, have a couple drinks. This is so rare for me.”

His brows lifted as he rounded the car. “I’m glad you get to enjoy it with me.”

He started for the hotel door and I walked in with him. His phone rang as we met at the check-in counter and he sighed, rustling around in his pocket as the woman behind the counter waited patiently.

“Apologies,” he murmured, smiling at her. I forced a smile at her too, then quickly looked away.

Max still had a smile on his lips as he flipped the phone over and checked the screen. But as he read over whatever message was on his screen, his smile slowly faded.