Until the Last Breath

“Fuck off! She should watch where the fuck she’s going then!”

“Fuck you! How about you watch where the fuck you’re going! That’s a lady, man!”

“Max!” I yell.

“Does it look like I give a shit!?” The man can’t be from here. He has to be American by the accent.

“Max!” I call again as people begin to slow down to watch him and the drunk man. “Max can we just go please?”

I rush for him, ready to grip his arm and drag him away from this place, but before I can reach him, the man gives him a hard shove on the chest and then swings a large fist at him.

Fortunately, Max ducks and the man misses, and Max takes a swing back. The man shoves Max again, causing him to bump into me, knocking me down once more.

I land straight on my ass, yelping in pain. The ground is hard and cold, and suddenly I can’t breathe at all.

My chest feels tighter. My breathing irregular. Fuck, I can’t breathe.

Max and the man are on the ground, some of the by passers gasping while others laugh and record on their phones.

“Max!” I try and scream his name, but my voice is barely a whisper. “Stop! Max!”

Fuck, I can’t breathe.

And Max doesn’t stop. I’m not even sure he’s listening to me right now. Him and that temper. It’s so bad. It’s too much sometimes. He won’t stop until he’s won, or until someone has ripped him away from the man.

The fight seems to slow in speed. Everything around me is a blur, from the fighting men in front of me, to the twinkling lights on the tower beyond.

My heart is slamming in my chest, working harder, harder. I hear my pulse in my ears, th-thump, th-thump, th-thump. I try and say Max’s name again.

I can’t.

I’m dizzy now. Losing breath.

I try to say his name one more time. “Max!” I croak, but that’s all that’s left in me. I fall sideways on the ground.

“Oh my God! Is she okay?” I hear a woman scream.

“Shannon—oh, no. Fuck! Shannon!”

Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump.

This is it, I think to myself. I’m about to die. Right here in front of the Eiffel tower. I guess there’s a sweetness to that.

“Shannon!” Max calls again, and I feel a pair of large hands cradling my head. “Someone call an ambulance! Please!”

I lift my head up to the sound of Max’s voice.

“Max?” I whisper. “Max… what’s…what’s happening?”

“Nothing’s happening. I’m here,” he murmurs. “I’m right here.”

I try to say his name again.

“Don’t speak. Relax.” I can hear the panic in his voice. He knows I’m going to die too.

Feebly, I reach for Max’s face and for a split moment, my vision isn’t so blurry. I can see him. I can feel him, my upper body now cradled in his large arms. His eyes are watery.

“It’s okay, Maximilian.”

“No. No, no, no, no.” Max says the word hurriedly, rocking me in his arms. “Fuck, this is my fault!”

I close my eyes and my arm falls gently from his face. The last thing I see are the lights of the Eiffel Tower. So bright. So beautiful. It’s not such a bad view to go out to.

The last thing I hear is Max shouting Tessa’s name. Tessa? The last thing he says is, “Well, you have to! We have no choice! Call John. Tell him something happened. I—I fucked up, okay? I really fucked up!”

“That’s it.” I hear a voice in the back of my head as my eyes seal tight and darkness consumes me. “Close your eyes. Just let go, baby girl.”

The voice sounds just like my father’s. They’re the same words he used to say when he took me and Tessa swinging at the park every Sunday. Back when things were sort of okay.

Ice cream.

Swings.

Laughter.

Sunlight.

We always had so much fun with him.

“Close your eyes. Feel the breeze. Imagine you’re flying when I push you on this swing. It’s nice, right? That’s all you have to do. Just fly.”

I feel my lips quirk up to smile.

The real voices are an echo now, fading, fading, fading.

“Close your eyes. Let go. You’ll be okay. I promise.”

THIRTY-ONE

Darkness.

Light.

Darkness.

Light.

In and out.

I can’t seem to stay awake, but there are voices around me and they’re familiar.

“John! Just calm down!”

“No! Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! I knew this would happen! I warned her!”

Tessa and John. They’re arguing.

“I thought she would be okay,” I hear Max say. “She told me it was okay. I understand your anger, but she was fine until last night. She fell and the jetpack cracked. I got her to a hospital as soon as I could.”

“You shouldn’t have brought her here at all! You see what you did, right? You got into her head! You fucked this all up and now she might just die because of you!”

“John, if you are going to blame anyone, blame me,” Tessa pleads. “I was watching her. I shouldn’t have let her go, no matter what the doctor said. I could have convinced her to stay.”