T do, Mr President.'
'Don't lie to me, Chief Interpreter. How can you possibly know every language in the world when you don't know this one?'
'It is not a language of this world, Mr President.'
'Nonsense, man!' barked Miss Tibbs. 'I understood some of it myself!'
'These people, Miss Vice-President, ma'am, have obviously tried to learn just a few of our easier words, but the rest of it is a language that has never been heard before on this Earth!'
'Screaming scorpions!' cried the President. 'You mean to tell me they could be coming from... from... from somewhere else?'
'Precisely, Mr President.'
'Like where?' said the President.
'Who knows?' said the Chief Interpreter. 'But did you not notice, Mr President, how they used the words Venus and Mars?'
'Of course I noticed it,' said the President. 'But what's that got to do with it?... Ah-ha! I see what you're driving at! Good gracious me! Men from Mars!'
'And Venus,' said the Chief Interpreter.
'That,' said the President, 'could make for trouble.'
'I'll say it could!' said the Chief Interpreter.
'He wasn't talking to you,' said Miss Tibbs.
'What do we do now, General?' said the President.
'Blow 'em up!' cried the General.
'You're always wanting to blow things up,' said the President crossly. 'Can't you think of something else?'
'I like blowing things up,' said the General. 'It makes such a lovely no
ise. Woomph-woomph!'
'Don't be a fool!' said Miss Tibbs. 'If you blow these people up, Mars will declare war on us! So will Venus!'
'Quite right, Nanny,' said the President. 'We'd be troculated like turkeys, every one of us! We'd be mashed like potatoes!'
'I'll take 'em on!' shouted the Chief of the Army.
'Shut up!' snapped Miss Tibbs. 'You're fired!'
'Hooray!' said all the other generals. 'Well done, Miss Vice-President, ma'am!'
Miss Tibbs said, 'We've got to treat these fellows gently. The one who spoke just now sounded extremely cross. We've got to be polite to them, butter them up, make them happy. The last thing we want is to be invaded by men from Mars! You've got to talk to them, Mr President. Tell Houston we want another direct radio link with the Space Hotel. And hurry!'
6
Invitation to the White House
'The President of the United States will now address you!' announced the loudspeaker voice in the lobby of the Space Hotel.
Grandma Georgina's head peeped cautiously out from under the sheets. Grandma Josephine took her fingers out of her ears and Grandpa George lifted his face out of the pillow.
'You mean he's actually going to speak to us?' whispered Charlie.