Fake (West Hollywood 1)

When I finally stopped, it was with a grin on my face.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He smiled cautiously back at me.

“I’m not broken. This didn’t break me, Paddy,” I said. “You don’t have to worry.”

“I know. You’re strong.” He sighed. “I think I’m more afraid you’re going to decide you’re sick of my shit, of the shit that happens around me, and leave.”

Huh.

“Which is selfish of me.” His jaw shifted. “If you want out, then all of the money is yours. You have to know that. What you’ve done is . . . you’ve been great. What I’m trying to say is, it’s your choice what happens next.”

“Did you actually just admit to liking having me around?” I asked.

“Thought you figured that out days ago.” He turned back to the water. “Truth is, you’d be better off without me.”

“I disagree,” I said. “Not saying life as your significant other hasn’t had its challenges. Many of them unexpected. But, Paddy, I’m happy where I am.”

The frown intensified.

“Time to cool off,” I said, giving his flat stomach a light push.

“What?”

“We’re going in.” I pushed him again and he stumbled back a step. Waves rushed in, drenching the bottom of our jeans. It was cold, but not unpleasant given the heat of the day. Seagulls cried overhead and the water and sky shone a perfect blue. Feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin was like waking from a bad dream. He raised his chin, looking down the length of his aristocratic nose at me. “You know how to swim, right?”

“Of course I know how to swim.” He placed his hands over mine, anchoring them to his chest, walking backward into the water the whole time. That he went where I led, or pushed to be exact, was an utter delight. How he was willing to go with my crazy and just wander into the ocean with me. There hadn’t been a lot of room for silly harmless fun like this in my life. Not for a long time. The water was a long way from summer warm, yet neither of us seemed to care. “But are you forgetting the part where we’re fully dressed here, Norah?”

“Like that stopped us yesterday.”

He gave me a reluctant smile. One of my favorites.

“I see this as like a spiritual cleansing,” I informed him.

“That so?”

The water now came up to my thighs. My pants were soaked, with the white shirt soon to follow. Lucky I was wearing a simple cotton bra and not one of the lacy things. “A symbolic turning of our backs on the plastic and insincere aspects of society. We’re embracing nature in all its glory.”

He laughed all soft and low.

A sound guaranteed to make my knees weak. “You mock the depth and gravity of this moment. But you’ll feel rejuvenated afterwards. Wait and see, Paddy. Total saltwater immersion therapy. Better than any Beverly Hills spa can deliver.”

He picked me up in his strong arms and waded us out into deeper waters. Right before he dunked us, he said, “Whatever you say.”

Grown-ass women could sleep on their own. It was a well-known fact. Which went nowhere toward explaining why I was wide awake and staring at the ceiling in the small hours of the morning.

Dinner had been yogurt-marinated chicken with garlic rice and a Greek salad. Felix was amazing in the kitchen, and I’d have asked him for his hand in marriage if I thought he’d accept. He paired the dish with a Cabernet Sauvignon and followed it up with baklava for dessert. Therefore, neither hunger nor thirst was the problem.

Since this house didn’t have the recent bad memories of the other, I also wasn’t afraid. Scream therapy had exorcised a whole lot of bad vibes. No longer did I seem to be stuck on the edge of a fight-or-flight panic response. Thank goodness. Hence, my restlessness came from other causes.

I could sleep on my own. It was a definite. The only problem being, I didn’t want to. Having Patrick’s big, warm body taking up half of the mattress was better on so many levels. Hearing him breathe, smelling his warm male scent. There was a certain simplicity in turning your back on sex. On denying the age-old call to reproduce for the good of all people. It made life easier in a lot of ways. And yet here we were. Did I really want to give up my peace of mind for this man? Was he worth that? And could I trust myself to make the right decision this time when it came to a male of the species?

Boss. Friends. These were the important things to remember. Sadly for everyone, I was apparently the forgetful type. The sad truth was, I missed him as much as I wanted him. So much for keeping an appropriate emotional distance. The memory of his arms around me today only made things worse. How good his warm, hard chest had felt against me in the cold water. Maybe I should go throw myself in the ocean again. Something in my nether regions definitely seemed to be on fire. But it was just a sex thing. A physical yearning for a one-on-one meeting with his private parts. It didn’t need to mean anything more.