Ricardo nods. “I won’t wait forever, Rafael. I expect this deal to be upheld.”
I flick my cigar into the ashtray and rise to my feet. “And it will be. Just have patience, and remember whose alliance would serve you best.
Taking Anna’s hand, I pull her tight to my side before heading for the door. Carlos lingers behind, watching our backs as we make our way out of the bar. As soon as we’re in the car, I drag a hand through my hair.
“Fuck!”
Carlos pulls away from the bar and Anna fidgets beside me.
“You can fix it, right?” she asks. I made a deal to save her. The only deal Nicholai Ivanov was ever going to take. I don’t regret it for a second, but now I have to figure out how to roll the dice in my favor and get everything I want. I need my cartel, and I need her. I won’t sacrifice one for the other. Losing is not an option.
“Honestly?” I turn to her. “I don’t know. I can’t stand against Nicholai without great losses.” And I’d likely lose anyway. I have an army of sorts, but he has an army of Elite. We’re not even on the same playing field.
Her brows pull together, and she nods slowly. “And the other cartels will rise up if you allow him to use the port?”
“The Russians hold too much power. If we give them any kind of hold here, they’ll take our business, overthrow cartels… we can’t allow it.” She gnaws on her bottom lip and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Reaching out, I grip her chin and pull her bottom lip free. “This isn’t your problem, avecita. Don’t stress. I’ll sort it.”
“How can it not be my problem? You’re in this situation because of me.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You made a deal with Nicholai for me…”
“Which was my choice, not yours.”
“What if…” She hesitates, her lips parted around her next words. “What if I were to…go away for a little while?”
Tension cuts through the car and Carlos clears his throat uncomfortably. “No.”
“Rafe, it wouldn’t be forever. You need to handle this, and me being here isn’t helping. If I go, you have no weakness, right?”
“I said no.”
Her small hand slides over my cheek, and she pulls my face to hers. “This is exactly why I should go—because you don’t want me to.”
I fist her hair and pull her closer, inhaling the sweet scent of her, basking in her inherent warmth that heats me to my very soul. She grounds me. I feel like I could take on the world with her at my side. “And this is exactly why you shouldn’t. Just let me keep you, okay?”
“We’re going to crash and burn, Rafe.”
“Maybe.” At this point, I’m not sure I care as long as I have her. It’s hard to remember that there are other people I have loyalty to; that I can’t just fuck it all because I have her. I want to though. I want to take her as far away from this as I can and never look back. But we can’t deny who or what we are. And I’m a cartel boss. Love is a luxury I have stolen but don’t deserve.
49
Anna
Early morning sunlight spills through the balcony doors, but already, Rafael’s side of the bed is cool. Days have run into weeks and weeks into months. Rafe is tense, on edge, waiting. He comes to bed late and leaves early. He holds me a little tighter and says very little. It’s consuming everything, to the extent that I’ve almost forgotten about my own problems.
A low buzzing sound fills the bedroom, and I roll over, searching for the source. It stops and then starts again. I open the bedside drawer and see the phone that Rafael gave me for emergencies dancing across the bottom of the drawer. The number is unknown. I pick it up as though it might explode in my hand and answer it.
“Hello?”
“Anna.” My stomach tightens instinctively at the distinctive sound of my sister’s voice, her American accent with a lilting Russian edge.
“How did you get this number?” I snap.
“I can get to anyone, anywhere.”
“Good for you.” I go to hang up.
“Don’t hang up. I know you’re angry, but this is more important than a sibling squabble.” Sibling squabble? Is she serious? “I need to speak to Rafael.”
“I don’t know where he is.” I’m not helping her.
“Please ask Rafael to call Nero. It’s important. I wouldn’t ask otherwise.”
“Why should we help you?” I’m so angry with her, but as soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel guilty. I’m only with Rafael because of her, but she betrayed me when I needed her. And that’s the root of it. She had my trust. I have survived so much without her because I had to, and I don’t blame her for that. But the one time she could have helped me, she became the very abuser I prayed for her to save me from. Una is no longer a savior in my eyes but an oppressor. How many other people has she maimed or killed? How many innocent sisters caught in the crossfire?