Sweet Collateral

It rings twice before it cuts off. “Anna.”

“Rafael,” I choke out his name like it’s a prayer, my last hope—because of course, it is. “I need you.”

There’s a beat of silence. “I’m sending a plane for you.”

74

Rafael

I pace the width of the hangar nervously as I watch the plane taxi towards us. Anna sounded like she’s in trouble. She called me. She has her sister. She has Nero. But she called me. Why?

The plane maneuvers into the hangar and comes to a halt. As soon as the steps touch the floor, Anna descends them and walks to me, her pace quickening with every stride. And then she throws her arms around my neck. I drag her small body up against me and hold her, inhaling the subtle raspberry scent of her shampoo. Her shoulders tremble, and I feel the rush of her exhaled breath against my throat.

“Avecita.”

“I’m sorry,” she breathes.

Lowering her to the ground, I cup her face in both hands and wipe the tears from beneath her eyes. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

She closes her eyes, and more tears break free. “I have a daughter.”

Everything freezes for a moment, and I swear my heart stops beating. “What?” A fresh wave of tears comes as her face crumples. “Anna, I need you to be clear here.”

“The Russians…they stole one of my eggs…”

Turning slightly, I wave at Lucas, and he pulls the car forward the few feet to get to us. Opening the back door, I guide Anna inside. As soon as I get in, she’s shifting closer to me. She’s fragile, unstable.

“So, they bred a child from your egg? That’s fucked up.”

She sniffs. “Una and Nero won’t save her.”

“They probably can’t, little warrior.”

She drops her chin to her chest, her shoulders slumping. “I need your help, Rafe.” When she lifts her eyes to mine, she looks so completely lost.

She left. I let her leave. Twice. And yet here she is, asking me for help. And here I am, wanting to give it to her, because despite everything, I love her, and I think I’d give her anything.

“Anna, I don’t know how much I can do.”

She nods solemnly, but she looks so fucking broken. More broken than when I first found her. “I understand.”

Placing a finger under her chin, I force her gaze to mine. “But I’ll try, baby.”

A sad smile pulling at her lips as wave after wave of uncontrollable tears pours down her face. “I love you.”

I press my forehead to hers and sigh. “I wish I could stop loving you, avecita.” I was stupid to think that I ever could, because as much as I want to save her from herself, I would love her in any form.

“Please don’t.” Her hand slides around the back of my neck, and fuck if she doesn’t always feel so inevitable to me. I’d give her the damn world if I could, just to see her smile. Everything feels so fucking dark without her, and I wonder how I ever found joy in anything before she walked into my life.

She presses her lips to mine, and I can feel how fragile she is right now.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I can’t watch you become like Una, like me. You’re so much better than us.” If she weren’t, she wouldn’t have given Bella her number. She wouldn’t be so heartbroken for a child she hasn’t carried and doesn’t know.

She drops her face to my throat, clinging to me as though I’m the only jutting rock in a stormy sea.

“You’re the best person I know, Rafe.” It’s a lie, but for her, I want to be.

Placing the cigar to my lips, I light it, welcoming the smoke as it infects my lungs. I remember when this simple routine was as regular to me as breathing—me smoking a cigar whilst watching Anna sleep. Her chest rises and falls with deep, even breathes. I had to slip something in her brandy earlier to get her to sleep, or she’d still be pacing my office now. Even in the low silvery light cast by the moon, I can see the dark circles lingering beneath her eyes.

I tell myself I can let her go, that I can live without her, but I can’t. I hate watching her turn from something pure and good into something vicious and vengeful, but truthfully, there’s nothing about Anna that I could really turn away from. And I’m selfish enough to bring her light into my darkness, to keep her love. I let her go twice, and her crying in my arms, running to me for help affirmed the fact that I can’t do it a third time. It might be wrong and morally fucked up, but a bad man can only try so hard to be good. She brings out both sides of me in equal measure.