There’s something desperate and feral in her movements, as though she’s chasing her own demons while she fucks me. And I let her. I fist her hair and pin her in place with her back bowed and my cock buried inside her. I let her ride it out like an exorcism until she falls apart in my arms, my name falling from her lips like her own prayer. When she’s done, I release her and pull her tight to my chest. Wetness dots my chest, and I know she’s crying. It makes telling her that much harder. My teeth sink into my lip at the thought of causing this woman who I love any more pain. How much is one person expected to take before they can finally take no more?
“He wants to trade,” I finally say.
“What does he want?” she asks without lifting her cheek from my chest.
“The women. He wants twenty of them to breed.” I physically feel the heavy thump of her heart and hear the strangled gasp as she drags oxygen into her lungs. Then she simply sits up, climbs off me and goes to the bathroom. The door shuts, the lock sliding closed.
I knew this would break her.
77
Anna
The water from the shower pounds over my skin, but it does nothing to calm my thoughts.
My daughter is lost to me. Trapped in that place, fated to become a mindless killer with no concept of humanity. She’ll never know kindness or love. She’ll barely be human by the time they’re done with her.
Twenty women. Twenty innocent people who have just been rescued from a horror I know all too well. They’re free, not property to be traded. He knew we would never do it. That’s why he made the offer. An impossible offer. He wasted Rafael’s time by even meeting with him.
God, it hurts. This constant ache sits behind my ribs, as though my heart is physically straining under my grief. A choked sob rips from my throat, and for a second I allow myself to just cry. Pulling my knees to my chest, I place my forehead against them. I cry until my eyes sting and my entire body hurts.
There’s a gentle knock on the bathroom door. “Avecita.” I can’t face Rafael right now. I can’t let him see that this is destroying me this much. “Please let me in,” he begs, and that pleading note in his voice has me feeling guilty all over again. I’m riddled with it, so what’s a little more?
Pushing to my feet, I slide the lock back and sit on the edge of the bath. The door glides open, revealing Rafael.
“I know it hurts,” he says.
“There has to be another way.”
“There isn’t.”
“His family? His business? There must be something we can threaten…”
He shakes his head, lines of defeat sinking into his face. “I checked every possible avenue before I ever met with him. So did Samuel. So did Nero’s guys.”
They’ve all been in on it. All trying to save my child. And some of the most ruthless, powerful men in the world can’t come up with anything.
I shake my head. “I wish I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
“That she existed. To know that she exists, but be completely unable to get to her…” I rub my hand over my chest.
Rafael inhales a deep breath. “But you are able to get to her.”
My eyes snap to his. “That’s not an option.”
“Isn’t it?”
“You can’t sacrifice them, Rafe.”
“I won’t be. You will.”
“What?” I cry. “Why would you say that to me?”
Those dark eyes turn cold. “It’s called a sacrifice for a reason. Because it should hurt to make it. You just have to work out your priorities, little warrior. Those girls? Or your child?”
“It’s not a choice!” I shout.
“It is. It’s just a hard one that must be made. The very act of not making it is in itself a choice.” I hate the implication that by not choosing I’m choosing the women over a child.
“There has to be another way,” I whisper. “What if Violet was one of those women?”
“Violet was family. Family comes first. Blood comes first.”
“But Violet was a whore, just like those women.” Worse, Rafael’s sister was a willing whore, selling herself for money. These girls have been forced. And the Russians will do more of the same to them. “They deserve a life.”
He offers me a sad smile. “Avecita, you aren’t naïve enough to believe that life is about what you deserve.”
“I can’t do it.” My chest hurts and more tears break free.
“Then don’t.” He places a finger beneath my chin, forcing me to look at him. “But you will have to live with the consequences of that, Anna.” He pushes to his feet and walks out, leaving me to cry myself dry for the second time this morning. And finally, when I can cry no more, I realize; I have to make this decision. Rafael isn’t going to protect me this time.