I swallow hard and meet the pastor’s eyes, and it’s only then that I realize the elderly man is waiting for me to say something. I clear my throat. “Sorry?” I ask, feeling pathetic. “What was the question?”
“Libby,” Pastor Ed begins in a gentle tone, “how do you feel about what happened with Patrick?”
That’s the important question, and I’m not sure how to respond. It’s true that there was some satisfaction in the revenge, but that seems to have faded over the past week, and all I’m left with now is a bad taste in my mouth. I thought that I’d feel better, but instead, I just feel guilty. That, and the fact that Frisco is all I can think about doesn’t help either, but that’s another story.
“I feel…” I look away. “Not good, I guess. Pretty bad, actually.”
“Mm-hm.” Pastor Ed nods slowly. “I’m not surprised. Revenge is always tempting in the moment, but it often leaves us lacking once it’s over.” He shifts in his chair, and I’m still surprised he isn’t telling me off for how un-Christian it was of me.
“Are you angry?” I ask meekly.
The pastor shakes his head. “No,” he replies, “but I hope you’ve realized that you shouldn’t have sent those pictures to the group. I understand that emotions were running high, but you should have come to me, or another member of the church, for guidance. Doing another bad deed will never erase the one that’s already been done.”
My shoulders slump, and I know there’s no arguing with the old pastor. That what have I done? feeling is coming back full force, and I haven’t even been able to look at my church workbook in a week. I guess that’s what happens when you do your best to ruin someone’s life.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, and I’m surprised to realize that I mean it. “I feel horrible. I think, now that I’ve had a chance to cool off, I’m remembering that Patrick is a good guy, in spite of everything. Maybe he didn’t deserve what I did. At any rate, I shouldn’t have been the one to decide that. It is, after all, God’s decision. So what do I do now?” I ask in a small voice. “How do I make up for this? I doubt Patrick will want to talk to me, even if he didn’t press charges.” And to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk to him, either.
Pastor Ed nods slowly. “Recognition is the first step,” he responds. “As far as what you do now, that’s not for me to tell you. God will show you the way. He always does.”
I have to believe he’s right. “Thank you, Pastor,” I say, getting up from my chair. “I appreciate it.”
“You’re very welcome, Libby,” Pastor Ed replies with a smile. “We all make mistakes. It’s what we do afterwards that matters.”
I bow my head in penitence, returning his smile, and then make my way out of his office. It’s grown dark outside by the time I leave the church, and the sky is a purple-grey color and eerily ominous. What’s even weirder is the fact that I’m seeing Frisco. It’s only been a week, but I feel caught up in him in a way I never have before, unable to resist his magnetic pull. We’ve met up almost every day since that night at his place, and texted non-stop too, and I’m starting to worry that I’m getting addicted to the handsome billionaire.
Of course, I couldn’t bring myself to reveal my sin to Pastor Ed, and that only makes the guilt come roaring back. In a lot of ways, my missteps are even worse than I let on to the kindly older man. After all, who dates their ex-boyfriend’s brother? Who forwards their ex’s pics, hellbent on retribution, only to fall in love with the means of that revenge?
God, I’m so mixed up, but the thought of seeing Frisco again makes my heart skip. My step lightens and a small smile crosses my face. At least some good is coming of this because what I feel for the gorgeous CEO is real, and I can’t wait to see him again.
7
Frisco
* * *
I can’t remember the last time I took a girl for a ride in my Ferrari. It’s not something I did often even before I started dating Libby; I tend to be cautious about how much of my lifestyle I expose to women because it’s always hard to tell which of them are genuinely interested in you, and which are only interested in your paycheck. I suppose that’s another perk to dating my kid brother’s ex-girlfriend. I’ve had plenty of time to get a read on Libby before romance even entered into the equation, and I’m certain she’s not with me because of my money.