Hot 4 (Multiple Love)

"We know, and we just want to say sorry," a man who lives across the road says. In his Black Sabbath t-shirt, he wouldn't be the kind of man I'd assume would be apologetic about anything.

"Sorry for what?"

"For how much flack you've been getting. For the gossip. There are people in this town who should know better than to turn a judgmental eye," the woman says.

"And for not coming round sooner to welcome you to town," another neighbor says. I notice for the first time that she's holding a plate of chocolate muffins. They're held forward, a peace offering at a time of crisis. I could stuff all eight delicious-looking cakes into my mouth right now and drown my sorrows with sugar, but I hold myself back and accept the plate. "Thank you. These look amazing. And it's okay about the welcome. It can be awkward. I get that."

"We didn't want to seem nosy. And then gossip started going around, and we didn't know what to say to make it better."

"You're doing okay," I say softly.

"That's good," the first woman nods. "We heard about the fire. It's all over social media."

For a moment, I don't understand why she's talking about fires. Then I remember that my boys left for an emergency.

"Where is it?"

"It's at the industrial park on the outskirts of town. There's a big paint factory there. There was an explosion, and the whole place is burning."

"Explosion?" My eyes meet Natalie's, and they reflect my own concern. I've been so wrapped up in the drama of tonight that I didn't register the danger the men I love are in right now.

"I'm sure it will be okay," the man in the Black Sabbath shirt says. "We've got the best firefighters in our town." He winks, and I smile, but it's all a show. Inside, I feel like I'm going to crumble again.

Natalie knows me well enough to tell, and she comes closer to my neighbors, thanking them all for coming and for their lovely words. I walk slowly into the kitchen, gripping the plate of muffins as though my life depends on them.

My neighbors must sense that I'm no longer in a talkative mood and leave quietly. Their visit had lifted a whole layer of strife from my shoulders but added another.

"They were so sweet," Natalie says, appearing beside me. "Can I have one? I didn't stop to eat."

"Sure." She takes one and peels back the wrapper, moaning at the first taste. “Your neighbor is gooood. You need to stay friends with her."

"Yeah." I can't stomach even the sweetest of treats with my boys out there fighting to stay safe.

"They're going to be okay," Natalie says. "And so are you. Believe me. Let's put a movie on to take your mind off everything. I'll stay until the boys are back. Maybe overnight if it's too late for me to drive."

"You should go back to your babies," I say, but she shakes her head.

"I'm here for you, Connie, as you've always been there for me. We're a team."

She throws her arm around my shoulder and steers me back into the den. I find my phone and send them all a message to call me as soon as they're safely back.

Natalie chooses a movie that we first watched together when we were teens, and I try to concentrate on it, but it's impossible. My mind is with my boys. Somewhere they're in great danger, and I can't rest.

After half an hour, just sitting is driving me crazy. I'm up and pacing, and Natalie's eyes trail me, her mouth turned down at the corners.

"What if they don't come back?" I say.

"They will." Natalie pats the seat next to her, but I have to keep moving.

"You don't know that. Nobody knows that. What if they get hurt?"

"You can't think that way, honey. They do a job that will always have an element of danger, but they do it because they know personally how important it is. You're not going to get them to change that."

"What do you mean?" I ask, the word “personally” striking me as odd in her sentence.

"Well, with what happened to their mom."

Their mom? I know she died, but they never told me how, and I never asked. We haven't spoken about my mom either. I just thought we were all being careful about feelings, but now I'm thinking I should have asked. What kind of girlfriend am I that there is this big thing in their lives that I know nothing about?

Natalie must be wondering the same thing, but she doesn't question me. "There was a fire in their home. It was while they were at high school. Their mom went to have a nap and left a pan on the stove. It caught fire, and she died from smoke inhalation. The boys saw the firefighters outside their house. They saw their mom being taken away in an ambulance, but unfortunately, it was all too late."