Feel My Love (Second Chances Forever)

I stood in line, looking at the menu for something relatively cheap. I ended up ordering a $2 medium white hot chocolate, with the hope that it would warm me up. If nothing else, it was a comfort drink. The flavor would boost my spirits a bit.

I lingered off to the side while waiting for the barista to make my drink. When it was ready, he called out my name, “Ami,” but he pronounced it “Ay-mee.”

“It's Ahh-me,” I said, correcting him as I took the cup.

“Oh. Sorry.” He frowned slightly at me as he handed me the drink. I could tell he didn't care if he pronounced his customers' names correctly. I felt a bit bad for snapping at him. I'd worked in food service before, through high school and college. I knew what it was like when customers started snapping at you for no reason. Normally I tried to be polite and courteous to anyone who served me. I blamed my bad mood on how badly my interview had gone.

“Ami?” a voice behind me asked. “Is that really you?”

I turned around and saw the last person in the world I'd ever expected, or wanted, to see. Cameron.

“Cam,” I said, looking up at him, my face going pale. I nearly dropped my cup.

“Wow.” He looked me up and down, a smile spreading across his face. “I never thought I'd see you here. How are you? How've you been?”

I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. I didn't understand how he could ask me that, how he could pretend to care, after what he'd done to me. He'd taken my virginity, then taken off, never calling me or trying to get back in touch with me. I'd asked my brother about Cam once or twice after that first night at the party. Mark had been really evasive about the whole situation for a long time, refusing to even talk to me about it. Eventually, he'd told me that Cam had transferred to a different college and left town.

I'd expected that to be the last I ever heard of him.

“Excuse me,” I said, pushing past him. My shoulder bumped against him on my way to the door. I hurried outside, not caring about the cold anymore. I couldn't bear to stay in the coffee shop with Cameron there. It was too embarrassing to face him, after four years.

“Ami, wait!” Cameron hurried out the door after me. His longer stride made it easy for him to catch up, and within moments he was in front of me. I tried to dodge around him, but he held his arms wide, trying to keep me back. “Ami, hold on. Let me explain.”

“There's nothing to explain, Cam.” I tried to fight back the tears, but they came anyway, turned cold by the frigid autumn wind. “Just leave me alone.”

“Ami, can we just talk? Please? I wanted to talk to you so many times. But your brother—”

“Mark has nothing to do with this!” I turned in the opposite direction. It would take me away from home, but I didn't care. I just needed to get away from Cameron.

He didn't follow, but when I glanced over my shoulder, I saw him standing there, looking dejected. He stared at me with the widest puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen.

I sighed. It was almost enough to make me go back and hear him out. Almost.

“You hurt me, Cam,” I said, pausing for just a moment. “You can't expect me to just forget that.”

He hung his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Look, I'm sorry. If you don't ever want to talk to me again, I understand. But...” He stepped forward, pulling something out of his pocket and holding it out to me. “Look, if you change your mind, if you want to hear me out, give me a call. If not, I'll understand.”

I hesitated, then reached out to take what he was holding. It was a business card. I barely glanced at it before shoving it into my pocket. “Sure. Whatever.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but he took a step back, respecting my wishes. “Take care of yourself, Ami.”

I bit my lip. It was hard, seeing him like this. He was being so considerate, and he looked so hurt. But I was hurting, too, and seeing him had just opened up the wounds all over again.

“Goodbye, Cam,” I said, turning away.

I didn't look back again. I managed to get around the corner before I lost it completely. I sat down on the curb, buried my face in my hands, and cried.

Chapter 2

Cameron

Seeing Ami again left me shaken up for the rest of the day. It had been four years since I'd seen her. Four years since that night.

I drove home in a daze, remembering our first night together. We'd both been drunk, and maybe that had been a mistake. But I'd never meant to take advantage of her. She'd told me that she wanted me. Maybe I'd still made a mistake.